So, are you intentionally single? I am-sort of! lol...

I have a boyfriend, but it is a *fun* relationship. He wines and dines me, and brings me little gifts. I cook for him. However, I am committed to not having a serious relationship for this part of my life. I am, for most intents & purposes, intentionally single. I don't interpret intentionally single as being miserable and lonely. I have tons of friends and this 'boyfriend' to fill my life. My life is not defined by my relationship with him. We live separately and have separate (and mutual) friends. If I need space, I have it no questions asked.

I was thinking about this yesterday when I stumbled upon www.livestrong.com. They have a singles area and all resources are geared towards finding a mate! I thought this was a bit extreme. A person should be able to find their own balance in life, which may or may not include a **mate** I wish that this site, which has support articles, etc, would have support for me.

Back to the ? -- Are you intentionally single? If not now, have you ever been? What does being intentionally single mean to you?

I am married now and happily so, but i think I am only happy now because i took the time to be intentionally single. It was almost two years i refused to have a commitment of any kind, except to my kids. I had friends who knew my position and respected it. This gave me the time to think about my life, how I wanted to lead it and what i wanted to do with it. My friends have been and always will be my support system, along with my dh. During this time I realized many things. They are

1 I am a beautiful woman

2i am a strong woman

3 I am intelligent and worthy of the good things in life

4 I can do anything with God's help and a positive outlook.

Now I am in school to be a spanish interpreter and have my confidence back that noone can take from me again, because I also learned during that time, how NOT to let that happen anymore.

I'm happily married, but the entire time my husband was trying to get my attention (1.5 years), I purposefully ignored the possibilty of a romantic relationship with him. When we did start dating, I realized that he might propose and I began keeping a "pros and cons" list on my fridge about what I thought about marrying him. Sometimes, things I learned about him switched from being a "pro" to being a "con" and vice versa! We don't have an easy marriage, but we do have a happy one and I think a lot of that was because I was very delibrate when I was thinking about dating or marrying him.

 Hi ... After my divorce, I was 'intentionally single' for about 14 years - I learned much, lived well and became a better person from the experiences. About 6 years ago, I met a wonderful man with two teen-girls and we married - I still maintain my own accounts and investments, own my own home, wonderful friends, and am still enjoying this chapter of my life with him. 

I am intentionally single and have been all of my life.  It took awhile for everyone to understand that I do not need to be married to "complete" me. I am a complete individual on my own. Unlike my friends who have married and divorced, I choose not to "settle."  If the great love of my life should show up, I might consider marriage.  My family and friends now understand that I am not simply marking time until the "right one" comes along, I am living my life on my terms.  Like you I have a boyfriend, but I also have my independence. The funny thing is that now that I am in my forties and still single, several of my friends have expressed to me that they wish they had taken my road.  It is not always easy being intentionally single, but I have been told that it is not always easy being part of a couple. It is a choice that you have to make at each stage of your life.  The most important thing to remember is to live your life no matter which path you take.

Single blessedness works for me.  I'd rather be in a good relationship, but I've come to enjoy solitude so much, I might not be able to do it again. 

I'd rather be single the rest of my life than to be stuck in another marriage with someone I can't trust.

. My DH asked me to go out with him for nearly nine months beore I finally accepted. I was in a relationship when he started asking me out. I had been seeing J for about 7 months when I met T. I kept telling T that I was seeing someone else. He just would not quit asking me out. i think I avoided going out with him because I knew he was "the one". It was like we had known each other our entire lives when we met.

The only thing I can say is I stayed single because I had to get a few things out of my system. I was constantly cheating on J, he was cheating on me too. I did not want to go into another relationship and start the cycle again. After J and I broke it off, I started seeing T and we have been together ever since. The ironic thing was, I moved in with T and my phone rang one day. It had been more than 6 months since I had even seen or heard from J. Of course it was J on the other end of the line, he wanted to go out. I told him everything was over between us and I was living with T. It did not seem to bother him. He just wanted me to start seeing him again. I told him not to call me any more. I am thankful he quit calling me. I do not consider my self attractive at all. 

 A while later, I found out that I was pregnant with my DS. That could have been a bad situation, if I had started seeing him again.

 i guess staying single is the right thing to do until you find your true love. My DH dated 3 women after his wife left. She left him 4 years before I met him.

As things stand now, I haven't met a man I want to spend my life with - I'd rather stay single than marry someone just to not be alone... and after my ex-husband's inability to hold a job or control his spending (or even tell me when he'd spent money from the joint account), financial responsibility is high on my list of required attributes.

I hear ya. My roommate said just last night that she can't believe that bf hasn't 'popped the question'...I replied with, because he knows what the answer would be--no.

First of all, I know he's not the one. He's a great Mr. Right Now. I felt that I was doing a disservice to him & broke up with him. My good friend convinced me. Saying that if you know he's not the one after 3months, its not fair to  keep them hanging on. I agreed (to a point) enough that I followed through with her advice. Turns out he's ok with being Mr. Right Now.

While I am in a relationship, this is not the forever, life ending, crazy love. He's ok with that. I'm ok with that. I think that if I was *looking* for Mr. Right, my friend would be correct. She's definitely looking for the one.