I am now officially the Mother of an adult. Our oldest child turned eighteen yesterday.

For those of you who have adult children, what things have you dealt with? I am wondering what new phases of parenting we are entering now.

How do you handle when they are struggling but are too proud to admit that verbally to you?

I am having to deal with that and I am not sure how to handle it.

Do what I had to do find something to do when teens grow up get a job or what your house hold does with a teenager we need to keep mind on the child is no longer a kid I had to go threw that until he hit 24 after that he died so enjoy what monents from the time as a kid to adult we eneven have to deal also yes they are not kids the are a adult thats the hard part...

Brandy:

How do you handle when they are struggling but are too proud to admit that verbally to you?

That's a hard question, Brandy. My oldest daughter was like that. If it's a financial struggle, look to the holidays to give them something that will help ease their problem. A gift certificate or even paying a bill for them will help and will be better accepted if it's a Christmas or birthday gift or something of that nature. If it's an emotional struggle, just letting them know you're there for them is all you can do. It's hard to see our kids hurting. That's part of allowing them to grow up, though. As long as she's in no physical danger, she'll be ok in the end. 

My parents never interfered one time after we left home and looking back I kind of wish they had. It would have saved us some heartache, but then we wouldn't have become the adults that we are.  

Pat:

My parents never interfered one time after we left home and looking back I kind of wish they had. It would have saved us some heartache, but then we wouldn't have become the adults that we are.  

I think I mentioned that she is stubborn. Even if she needs or wants us, she won't admit it because admitting the need or admitting she made a wrong choice is not something she does normally.

I just don't know if I should say something, not say something. What would be the right thing to say. Would saying or doing anything stunt an experience that could mean future growth? ARGGHHH!

Gigi:

I/we had a lot of input, especially when they lived at home. It was/is our house and our rules.

She is no longer at home and she has been paying many of her own expenses since she was sixteen. At this point, we have little say in her life.

She has been stubborn and prideful all of her life. I won't be at all surprised if she ends up having to face that she has spiraled into a situation she struggles to manage and turns to us for help.

Gigi:

I have come to the realization that personality is about  70% inherited and 30% environment.

I know I am only somewhat believed when I tell of the experiences I have with my daughter. If I had not lived it, I would be amazed.

As an infant, mind a newborn, she only wanted to be held when and if she desired it. I often would pick her up just to cuddle her only to have her scream until I put her down. She also reacted strongly to stimulants like temperature, fabrics, sounds, sights. If she did not like them, she would be adamant about it often screaming until it was changed to suit her.

Has she had experiences where she did not get her way? Absolutely. How did this effect her? It made her more resolute in having her way somewhere else or the next time a similar situation arose.

From the beginning, I could see a strong personality and from the beginning, I have had no idea how to best handle her. I know I have made mistakes and I can only hope for the best for her.