Jane_b:

I will send out cards to each family, they never seem to have "gotten" my emails concerning things like this before. My 2 sisters, 2 nieces, and all three nephews with girlfriends will be getting a copy of "the new deal."

jane b, since this is the case, I think I would make a personal phone call each one who wants to come.  Say, "I will provide the turkey and stuffing (or mashed potatoes) and gravy.  Mom is making only two pies.  What side dish will you bring to serve 24?"  If you know that person "has" to have devilled eggs, suggest they bring them, or they will not be present.  Do not cave in.  You can make a list, read it to them and ask which item they would like to bring.  That way, not everyone shows up with green bean casserole, lol! 

If things are tight for any family members, be sure to let them know about Angel Food Ministries or one of the other programs where boxes of food can be bought at reduced cost.  When I last looked, they still had the October menu up, but November and December deliveries are made the week prior to that month's holidays.  Check out www.angelfoodministries.com. 

It is frustrating to do it all by yourself.

And when the dinner is in full swing, be sure to ask who is going to host it next year! 

Janeb, I agree with everyone else that its time to go potluck!  Its not hard for everyone to bring a side dish, rolls, a dessert, etc.  You're still doing the "hard work" with the turkey & gravy.

 It'll be just DB and I this year. We'll do around a 14 lb. turkey so we have plenty of leftovers.  Stuffing (we actually stuff our turkey's, we both grew up on stuffed turkey and no one's died or gotten sick yet), mashed potatoes, gravy, green bean casserole, cranberry orange relish, sweet potatoes (just for me, DB hates sweet potatoes and most other gourds including pumpkin & squash) and an apple pie. 

Its a pretty low budget meal to begin with. We always buy a frozen turkey and thaw in a cold water bath in the sink, so can normally get it around $.29/lb.  Probably more this year, but still under $.50/lb. I'd hope!  Gravy from the drippings, broth made from the neck & gibblets and cornstarch, so that's practically free.  Potatoes are still under $2.50 for a 5 lb. bag here.  Green bean casserole, the most expensive part is the french's onions, and those will go on loss leader before Thanksgiving.  Cranberry orange relish is just whole cranberry sauce mixed with mandrin oranges, looks fancy, tastes great, super cheap, around $1.50 for the whole thing.  I'll buy a small can of sweet potatoes (under $1.00), top with brown sugar & butter and bake with the other sides.  I have apples from when we went picking and want to can some pie filling, so will use that and make crust.  I'd say we can do the whole meal, plus a ton of leftovers for under $20.00.

Brandy, you asked is having the meal is even worth it?

I wonder that myself. If this turns out the way I think it will (my sisters and offspring get in a snit really easily), it may just be me, DH, my parents and maybe a couple of their friends who have no family. That would not make me unhappy.

It is my fault for letting things get this out of hand. It just seemed over the years as my nieces and nephews grew up, started dated, got married, had babies...it only added one or two people a year. But now, those one or two a year have created a multitude of people who apparently have no manners.

I will post my "food assignment" cards for your comments..later. I have a gut feeling that my RSVPs will be sent back, if they even have the manners to do that, with regrets that they can't come. I, personally, won't be any less thankful on the big day.

Either they will come around by next year and see the error of their ways, or I'll be off the hook, except for my parents, for the foreseeable future.

Just wanted to add that I'm sorry to have created a wet blanket on this thread. I will handle it and thanks to all for your suggestions.

NOW! Please carry on with your yummy, frugal, fun plans, because I plan to join you this year! Heehee!

 just posted on virginianeedlewoman's thread that our dinner will run $11.00 I did forget the rolls on the list, but that'll be homemade.

Not a wet blanket, I've been there, only my "family" grew to 42.......and I had a sister-in-law 'forget' to bring her side dish, and another bring a trifle, and there were about 14 of them.  This was during 80's when things were tight.  I started asking if they would like to bring A) vege dish  B) salad C) dessert item D) give money towards meat.  incredibly, several gave $ towards meat!  I even had one bring a jello mold and handed me an envelope to go towards meat.  I hosted all the holiday meals, and it set a format for all future holiday meals, With extra $, I could have an extra turkey breast or a ham, and make fillers for the missing side dishes, and would have cottage cheese ready to toss in a bowl, etc.  I skipped the relish tray unless someone brought it for their vege dish, and kept beverages to water, milk and coffee.  Hope this helps, they honestly did not mind, and I think they thought they were getting out of something, but a few $20's and a couple of $10's, made me not feel so put upon.  Hang in there.  It worked for me, I was just telling them I was trying to get more organized, and writing down who was doing what.  It worked!  Good luck all, Jacque

Jane_b:

it may just be me, DH, my parents and maybe a couple of their friends who have no family. That would not make me unhapp

That sounds pleasant and less stressful.

I am beyond stressing over holidays. If those around me want stress and tension, they are welcome to it...without me.

Jane_b:

Just wanted to add that I'm sorry to have created a wet blanket on this thread.

You aren't a wet blanket. You needed a place to vent about the frustration you were feeling over affording and preparing a large meal. If you feel better about it and are making a plan then it was worth discussing.

This year for Thanksgiving there be 64 people in and out all day

I am making two turkeys and honey baked ham  ( my nephew hates turkey he already ordered the ham he will pick it up )  my Sis in law all will bring things  Granny will make something and Mary ( my sister who is 86 ) will make her jello dish .. everyone brings something one niece doesnt cook she sets the table and does dishes my Neice will bring snacks  we have alot food .. and family we always did that at my Mil then when she came here to live they all come here only one that travels is one nephew for CA he coming on the Monday with his kids ,, he always brings us fruit and things from California  it family its holidays then Christmas we do it again we have a ball .

my DH will read an account of the first Thanksgiving they kids love it

I love Thanksgiving . . . it's my favorite holiday actually!  (Though I really do love Christmas too . . .).  But I love that there's no gifts, that it's just food and family.  It's such a nice day, and a nice start to the holiday season.  I don't host the dinner (yet!).  My mom does.  This year we have family coming from out of the area so it will be a little bigger but her side is still pretty small so there will only be about 12 adults plus 4 little kids.  We all bring side dishes and my mom does the main stuff.

On my dad's side of the family, my cousins are like Jane describes, don't ever think about bringing something, they are just used to showing up and eating and don't really give a thought to it.  Last year for the first time, my aunt who usually hosts asked them each to bring something and they happily obliged.  I honestly think they just don't think about it unless someone asks them.  They are like that in a lot of ways though . . . I try to not let it bother me but sometimes it's hard.  If I was hosting, it would absolutely be irritating!

On the day after Thanksgiving, DH & I have started a tradition . . . no shopping for us!  In fact, we don't leave the house!  The day before Thanksgiving, we rent a bunch of movies and I plan food for the Friday (fun food and snacks & of course, leftovers!!).  We stay in our pjs all day (kids too!) and eat snacks, leftovers, and watch movies, play games, take naps together, etc.  It is so relaxing and fun, gets me in the holiday spirit plus gives a much needed rest and family time before the busyness of Christmas.  No one comes over, it's just us and I love it!