You have a full plate, and are handling it with such wonderful attitude and grace.

I would think your hubby would qualify for veterans' payments - Agent Orange is, as you know, just a nasty thing.  I know it's so hard for the military now to pursue disability issues, but I hope your situation is improved.  And bless you for supporting all these lucky family members with love.

Dear All Who Have Posted Here, Like some of you, I have both psychiatric & physical issues, but the latter are harder to predict & thus deal with.  POSSIBLY to a greater degree than some of you, as my Darling brother put it in a letter to me, "Your spirituality defines you & supports you & identifies you. Your fervent belief in prayer lifts you."  I can assure you that he is right.  I often feel like a Christian nun, whose contemplation & prayer IS her job.  SO, my problems are mild.  As I think that everyone has caught on to, you need only email me (from my Bio page -- just click on my name in teh left-hand column of any post that I have made) if you are a Forumite & ask for prayer, & I will add you in (you may be in my prayers already.).  Yours in Him, Deb 

 Deb,  You are such an inspiration! 

And I agree that faith helps so much. Faith - or rather, a sustaining spirituality. Without that, I don't think I'd go on loving life just as it is.

Take best care, and thanks much for being who you are.

Seaturtle

Debra,

I said this before and I will say it again,you are wise...

Have a blessed day,

cynthia

Deborahmichelle:

Dear All, I suspect that Luvd_Lioness & Virginia Needlewoman & a number of others on this site would agree with me that disability changed their lives

When my Father injured his back, it was a life changing experience. He was told he may never walk again. While he did retain the ability to walk, his mobility is drastically reduced and he has trouble walking and sitting without pain. So twenty-one years ago, his life changed and our lives changed as the independent workaholic man in our family came home needing a nursemaid to do even the simplest of tasks.

In addition to this physical block to life as Dad knew it, he found that the whole ordeal opened the floodgate for the PTSD he battled for years. His poor health has progressed to where he now has many issues he deals with. He struggles because he so desperately wants to be the man he once was doing the things he used to.

He doesn't deal with employment discrimination as he is considered completely disabled and unable to work. He does deal with the stigma of being a disabled veteran as his PTSD, other injuries he was able to cope with when young but flared up as he aged and as his health deteriorated and some of the diseases he now has are service related.

Disability is very much a stage of life. I was born with a physical disability that effects my mobilty. People just expect you to have a lower IQ if you are in a wheelchair so it is hard to get people to look past it. My husband was shot at 28 and left with a spinalcord injury. We both have had times in the eight years have been married where we could work and at other times our disability kept up pretty much house bound.

I figure everyone has something to face but disability does effect life. Being disabled is the only minority group that anyone can become a member of at any point in life. The worse part is it is hard to be frugal when it comes to medical supplies because there are lots of things that medicare does not cover.

hey debra I was disabled I think about 9 or 10 years ago I suffered a mild head trama landed me in the hospital for almost 2 weeks I also was told I flat lined in the er now Iam disab;ed from memory some short  term then ewhrn Im typinf away forget how to spell right and putting the sentence together I use to be title clerk and running the office at my home and two others and selling cars on the side just to make a buck mainly prefered the office at least I could yell at the file cabinet then no one else now I have a hard time of memory to my old website to remembering people names and dates ....

And suffer from depression as a kid not that I found out later in life yup you are biplor the hyper biplarizm suffer more highs then the low part its like ore of addhd part Im still trying to live with it and when someone says Im crazy they get their head bitten off I yell at them the fundamentals of the conditions people suffer with me Im learning or trying hard not to bite heads off its hard but it took me 5 years learing to keep the mouth shut and listen instead of being a head hunter....

Dear Seaturtle, You have brought up the question that is the bane of the experience of all PWD's (persons with disabilities) -- "What do you do?"  That question used to bother me terribly, but now I have learned to just smile politely, & say, "I am completely & totally disabled."  That usually stops them short.  Yours in Him, Deb

 Deb, greetings,

I just wondered what post you were referring to?

Good answer on your part! That would certainly stop them dead. I usually say something like "I have some disability." People tend not to ask any more questions after that. I've also noticed that if I am free and easy about speaking about my disabilities, others often are relieved to hear me and then go on to share their "secret" disabilities with me. It surprises me to learn how many people are troubled by one thing or another and feel they have to hide it behind a pretense of normalcy (if such exists).

Blessings to you at this holiday time,

 Seaturtle

My DH is disabled.  I think the part that bothers both of us the most is the rude questioning.  DH wears sunglasses whenever he is outside of the house b/c part of his traumatic brain injury is illuminaria (seeing more light than what is actually there).  The sunglasses help him compensate for the excessive light.  People, men especially, say things like, "So, what?  You're too cool to take your shades off?"  And DH will say something like "No, I've got a brain injury that causes problems with my eyes and the lights hurt."  And people will just shake their head, like they don't believe him, even though it's obvious he's disabled.  (The cane, sunglasses, ear plugs, and general behaviour are dead give-aways.)  We went to a black tie event for my work, so I could do a check acceptance from a national black sorority.  We were the only non-African American people there and there were some very rude comments by people about my DH being disrespectful and trying to immitate Ray Charles or Stevie Wonder, even though some people had asked him to remove his sunglasses and he told them the same thing he tells everyone, "I have a brain injury and the lights hurt my eyes."  I told my boss I would never go to another one of their events.

I guess some people think that if they can't see the disability, then they don't full believe it exists.  But so many disabilities are internal and invisable.

My DH will always be disabled, but he tries very hard not to let that define who he is as a person and he tries to see beyond the rude comments.  He sees himself as a father, husband, artist, musician, etc.  No one will ever fully understand the sometimes week-long migraines or month-long aches & pains, but he doesn't want them, too, either.  He doesn't want people to be "dragged down" b/c he had a sad moment in his life.  He wants to constantly move forward and do what he can when he can.  He tells me that his days can't be defined as either good or bad, but great, good, bad, and horrible -- and as long as the great and good days outweigh the bad and horrible, then he can keep moving forward.  He can't work, so he embraces his role as stay-at-home-dad and 3 days a week it's just him and DD in the afternoons.  He's the one who has taught her how to draw hearts and sketch baby animals and put together puzzles and build animals with her mega-blocks -- things that are certainly NOT my strong suit!