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Do You & Your Spouse/Partner Agree on Frugalness??

Last post 12-26-2008 9:42 PM by timzagain. 27 replies.
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  • 04-02-2007 10:45 AM

    Do You & Your Spouse/Partner Agree on Frugalness??

    My husband and I agree on almost everything regarding how we spend and save our money.  We used to be spenders until we went to buy our first home and found out how out of whack our debt to income ratio was!  Since then, we have become much more frugal.  The one area that we disagree is with his smoking!  He has been smoking for about 35 years and now smokes about 2 packs a day.  Besides the horrible effects on his health it is also quite a drain on the budget - between $250 & $300 a month.  He is an extremely intelligent person but I think that he is just so terribly addicted that he can't think straight about this subject.  Anyone else in a big spending disagreement with your spouse?
  • 04-02-2007 9:18 PM In reply to

    Re: Do You & Your Spouse/Partner Agree on Frugalness??

    Well, dh is tighter than even I am when it comes to money. I grew up in a spendthrift family, he grew up in a very tight paycheck-to-paycheck family.
    Michelle in Northern Michigan

    "Those who would surrender liberty for security deserve neither" - Ben Franklin

  • 04-02-2007 11:34 PM In reply to

    Re: Do You & Your Spouse/Partner Agree on Frugalness??

    DH grew up two income, three kids- I grew up one income 8 kids- I am much more frugal, he feels "cheated" I think- now I just give him most of the disposable income, he spends quite a bit on lunch, I used to think not fair, but now he is working a second job, I kind of feel he deserves it if it is important to him.  I think he also wants to buy meat, we are vegetarians except for him, and vegetarian at home- although now he is on high blood pressure meds, partly due to weight, partly I think due to salty fast food lunches. My bp is 100/65 and I'm back into my size 10 jeans 3 months after having my seventh baby- so I feel healthier, I'm sure. But he does what he wants, if he doesn't have the cash he charges, which is worse for us all in the long run.

     

    Tracy 

    Tracy
    Beginning Debt Slayer


  • 04-03-2007 1:46 AM In reply to

    Re: Re: Do You & Your Spouse/Partner Agree on Frugalness??

    One for us is gas usage . My husband does not think of being careful how much gas he uses . He makes numerous little trips to the store on his days off instead of making all his store runs at the same time . Another is his smoking . I cannot stand it and think it is such a waste of money . I cannot say anything about it though because he gets very mad if I do .
  • 04-05-2007 8:05 AM In reply to

    Re: Do You & Your Spouse/Partner Agree on Frugalness??

    I wanted to think about this for a few days before I decided to answer your question. For the most part I think my Dh and I are on the same page about the finances. I guess the biggest difference is that while he likes to buy a lottery ticket and hope he wins, I am the smoker. I would like to be an exsmoker though, but like your husband, I am completely addicted. What I have done is try to cut back and some days are better than others. I almost never smoke a whole cigarette at one time, however I don't like to keep them to finish later, so in the end I go through a pack a day, but if I kept them to finish I would probably only go through a half pack a day or less. Maybe that is what I should do. I guess you all got me rethinking about this again. It's not just bad for my health, it's bad for my finances too, but it's less than $100 a month most of the time.

  • 04-05-2007 9:52 AM In reply to

    Re: Do You & Your Spouse/Partner Agree on Frugalness??

    I'd say we agree as far as having common goals.  Do I think he needs 1/2 the stuff he buys?  Nope.  I'm sure he feels the same about my spending.  I try to look at the long-term goals and make sure we are both heading in the same direction and I think that's why its easy for me to ignore the smaller spending.  The ups guy probably drives to our house in his sleep, he comes so often.  There's tons of things in my guy's office I think could disappear and he'd never notice, but hey its his stuff and I have my stuff.  This past year I have really gotten myself into a mess with credit cards due in part to emergency and the rest in stupidity.  I noticed I was much more high & mighty about money when I was debt free. HA!  Now I'm scrambling to pay off this debt and get back on track and he's been very supportive (but not bailing me out which is good). 

     He's a bit more relaxed about money than I am, but not foolish.  Just doesn't seem to stress out like I do.
     

    Two kids, four dogs, and a Rahhstah, who could ask for more?
  • 04-06-2007 12:28 AM In reply to

    Re: Do You & Your Spouse/Partner Agree on Frugalness??

    Both dh and I are frugal. It really depends on what the actual item is. He hates taking a lunch from home, but he only spends 2.00 on lunch. We have learned to defer to each other strengths.

     three3girls

  • 04-06-2007 11:01 AM In reply to

    • Brandy
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 03-28-2007
    • Saving in South Mississippi
    • Posts 25,145

    Re: Do You & Your Spouse/Partner Agree on Frugalness??

    I have been thinking about this thread and decided to reply with this:

    We agree on the larger picture of being wise with money. We disagree on what it takes to do that.

     

     

    The Dollar Stretcher Community Manager



  • 04-10-2007 8:43 AM In reply to

    • Brandy
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 03-28-2007
    • Saving in South Mississippi
    • Posts 25,145

    Re: Do You & Your Spouse/Partner Agree on Frugalness??

    I was reading The Dollar Stretcher this morning and found this article that reminded me of this post:

     http://www.stretcher.com/stories/05/05apr11b.cfm

     

    1. I am not married to my financial soul mate. He is more comfortable with spending money than I am.

    4. We don't agree on how much money should be used for enjoying life. But then he points out I enjoy meal planning, making cleaners, ect so money spent on that could be seen as fun money for me. I am not amused on that one.

     

    The Dollar Stretcher Community Manager



  • 04-11-2007 6:35 AM In reply to

    Re: Do You & Your Spouse/Partner Agree on Frugalness??

    When my husband and I were first married, we disagreed on "how" we should be frugal. He saw nothing wrong with his fast food addiction, while I was OK spending money on our newlywed scrapbook. Someone suggested to us that we should use an "allowance" system. It felt dumb at first, but after nearly 3 years, we have fought about money a lot less than any of our friends. When we get paid, our paycheck goes into the general fund. Out of that we get an equal amount of spending money. It has changed with jobs and such, at the moment we get $60/2 weeks. This is to use on ANYTHING that is not a household expense. eating out, coffee house coffee, scrapbooking, paintball, the latest and greatest hardcover or dvd or cd, etc. We still get frustrated with each other once in a while, but the allowance system has cut down significantly on the amount of "TALKS" we were having. :)
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