The area I live around the holidays the church,police stations,fire house and other places are taking up donations toys etc. for needy famlies which it is a good program but it seems as if it is the same people that are dependent year after year on their childrens christmas which I did not see anything wrong with giving but my breaking point came when I heard of one lady that went to the church and got her boy's christmas things like expensive electronic games then bragging about her husband getting a $2000.00 bonus from his job all I could think about were the kids out there who might get nothing because of people like her I have no children but tried to give to the needy things like this is just like a stab in the heart I freel as if they had that much surplus she should be buying her own children's gifts those programs should be for the needy only.

I would research the organizations you cite and tell this story to them.  It does seem like greed when one has a huge bonus.

My office (non-profit) is giving out turkeys again this year.  They are putting a system into place where essentially we will be able to catch people abusing the system so that they can be more closely monitored and/or denied more than 1 turkey.  It's sad that it has to be that way.  But there are people who will come to us and get a turkey, then go to another non-profit and get a turkey, and so forth.  Last year there was a non-profit in another part of the area where I live that had a family get 4 turkeys before it was discovered.  There were banned from getting a turkey this year at all b/c they refused to return the extra 3 turkeys.  They kept saying the needed the food and the organization trying to help them said they would find other food for them, but other families would want a Thanksgiving dinner, too.

It's unfortunately a bigger problem than we (any of us) would care to admit.

I refuse to do the angel tree thing in my area.  *Every single* request is an object I wouldn't buy my own child -- DVD players, flat panel/HD t.v.s, 360s and other game consoles, $100+ bicycles.  When I was a kid the angel tree listed the clothing size and gender of the child and the child listed a reasonable gift (board game, book, Barbie, etc.).  There's too much greed now.

I also think the whole process starts too early when it comes to December holiday giving.  I've noticed that the angel trees, the bell ringers, etc. are up and going by mid-November.  I wish they would allow Thanksgiving to pass first before starting.

I didn't check last year, but the previous year the Angel Trees did list normal things like clothing sizes, board games etc.  I'm glad it's not like that everywhere!  That would frustrate me!

A few people's greed makes it so much harder on the people who truly need it and have a hard enough time asking for help.

Very sad!

 My church does Angel Tree too. I always look for the younger children. The gifts are cheaper. The older kids seem to want the more fancy, expensive toys. It does bug me when I know that my own kids might want those things. They know that we would not spend that kind of money. People do seem to take the angels and buy the gifts.Babs

Well, I'll post as someone who has used the program here for two years in a row- the one year with over $10,000 in med expenses, last year with a car crash by a very drunk driver the year before and those costs- this lady was a .4, hard to open your eyes, let alone drive. We had over 70 medical- chiro and other visits- and the loss of income while I attended to the people who had been in the car, paying the deductible for a different car, rental, etc.  Both years influenced by the crash, and a high risk pregnancy, partly due to the crash, I had biophysical profiles every week for four months until the baby was born, I was five months pregnant when the car was totalled.  We just had so many unexpected bills we could not pay them all and come up with Christmas gifts. 

I told dh that it really is just- the rich side of the town, where Vikings and Wild players, doctors and lawyers live, helping put a few gifts under the trees on the other side-lower socio economic side, more challenged money wise. I saw it as much more innocent, the people who have, can bring to those who are working hard, but just might not be making it easy enough to put presents under the tree.  I'm not just saying this, I know that some of the kid's friends parents, who are doctors, one my daughters Girl Scout leader, really love to give as a family. Another family friend is a college prof, they love to give to things like this. Last year I just told dh, we are not going in further debt for Christmas, I am very glad I used the program, two days after Christmas dh lost his job.   Both years, the girls brought donations in as part of their Girl Scout programs.  So we have always donated, but used the program the last two years.  I always have pictured people were excited to donate, here they have groups bringing in every year, being on TV, maybe hockey teams, and health clubs, work places, bring toys and are on the news.  It always seemed to me if you have a health club membership, a child in hockey-not a sport for the economically challenged, or a good job, that it would be fun to help "fill the tent."  Everyone bringing seems happy to be donating. 

I've been in charge of a drive of my church several years ago, we got a ton of gifts, everyone seemed very excited to buy and wrap.  We bought and wrapped.  Last year gave to our family at church, the Sunday school drive, for a family in need the city gave us info on.

i think give if you can and you want to, use if you need to and want to, although I am more hestitant to use given the perceptions voiced here.  I just thought of it as those that wanted to buying gifts for those who could use a little help.  Our city has it set up to shop, pick one bigger gift, one smaller gift, two stocking stuffers per child under 18, all on shelves set up by age.   Example, got ds a basketball (big), puzzle (small) two books, the baby got a care bear(big), little doll(little) and two board books.  We got to select things our kids would like. 

Yes, part of it is we aren't earning as much, we have a bigger family, I'm not working full time, we have used credit cards, we have unpaid medical and dental bills we are still paying off, I can't work my profession in this state without another master's degree, some of the kids pay tuition for school, we own a house in a more expensive suburb, we own older cars that need repairs, I could go on and on about errors others would say we have made in securing an airtight financial future for our family.  But isn't it just about Christmas, and sharing, and not worrying about the genuine need, perceived need, hard working enough, validity, greed, and other issues that really nobody can tell or compare, even the recipient or social workers in charge of the programs?

I say give if you want to.  We will be doing the Christmas Child shoe box, a little change for, I think Soldier's Angels, to help servicemen buy treats and trinkets for kids in the areas they are serving, and I think that will be it.  I would like to donate a little money to Red Cross this year if we've gotten enough pay, they are very broke due to the extreme demand.  I worked the disaster action team for three or four years, every dollar given, I'm confident, is well used.  In addition, we give a little check to church each week.

I say take if you feel you need to.  I'm sure most donors aren't worried about your checkbook balance, if you feel you need a little assistance. 

Merry Christmas to EVERYONE!  Loved Ariana's reply, btw, in the other thread under this heading. You are a heartwarming individual.

Dept. of Social Service handles this here they have a master list and we get names from them we have a giving tree in the food bank

I can image people doing this.

my DH is going to order turkey in the next few days for our Thanksgiving boxes .  we hoping to fill 22 Thanks giving boxes this year.

Greed is not pretty

Thanks, Tracy.  Just my opinion, I guess. I don't think you should feel ashamed to use the services, that's what they're there for. 

When I was around six I remember my mother bringing home a shopping bag of cool toys and games around Christmas, some of them from my list I sent Santa.  I wanted in that bag so bad I threw a fit. She finally told me it was for a needy child--those presents were for the Salvation Army.  We were not rich by any stretch of the imagination, infact we were below the poverty line. That's when I learned the truth about Santa and that there was always someone else more needy than you. 

Every man, woman and child deserves a joyful holiday, regardless of their income.  I don't believe that children from a less financially stable family deserve presents that are "less than" the same quality and type than the average middle-class child would get on Christmas.  Video games, DVD players, etc. are common requests for tweens and teens. DVD players run less than $25 dollars now, and used video games in the original cases with instruction booklets can be bought for $15 and less at a Gamestop, the only thing they're missing is the cellophane that they came in from the factory.  I'd rather have my friends chip in and get them what they asked for to make their holiday special. Consoles are a different matter, but we can't afford them for ourselves either so I just skip over that type of request and try to get as much of what they ask for as possible.  For bikes, etc. has anyone tried going to a bike shop and asking for a donation?  I had success with a local shop one year donating a bike that was on my Angel Tree kid's wish list. All I had to do was talk to the owner.

Again, I don't mean to step on anyone's toes. Just my opinion.  I understand it can be frustrating when you see the wish lists. But can you honestly expect for a child to wish for something less because he's poor than any other child would?

Count your own blessings and be a blessing.  My mom drilled it in my head and I'll never forget it. Just like not putting my elbows on the table.

 I think that the thing that is hard for some people that you are given a slip of paper that says buy a PSP or DS.  Buy a skateboard. I like the programs that let you bring in a toy of your choice and people can come and look and pick for their child. Toys for  Tots is that way here.

I dont mind the request for boys jeans, size 8 but when you are given the name brand from the most expensive store. ...that bugs me. My family always does gifts when we have had the money. Im not going to buy a present that cost more than I would give my kids.

Tracy, you are the person that should joyfully recieve for your family. You give to others in many ways. You dont plan on being in this place for the rest of your life. Some people do and it is sad but true. Babs 

arianasilver:

 Video games, DVD players, etc. are common requests for tweens and teens. DVD players run less than $25 dollars now, and used video games in the original cases with instruction booklets can be bought for $15 and less at a Gamestop, the only thing they're missing is the cellophane that they came in from the factory. 

Unfortunately Ariana in my area people are discouraged from giving something that isn't brand new, a game from game stop with a warranty isn't new because it was bought used. To me it's a ridiculas rule but most of the charities won't accept even gently used toys. Thankfully not all charities are like that.

arianasilver:

 For bikes, etc. has anyone tried going to a bike shop and asking for a donation? 

In our area one of the big news stories each year is a bike give away that is put on by the director of a local funeral home. He gets unclaimed bikes that have been turned into to the police and goes to auctions each year. Then he has a helper that fixes them up (along with some that the helper is given for this occasion) sets things up at a school. He has gone from giving away 50 or 100 bikes to now giving away 2000 plus the local law enforcement (sometimes city, some times county) donates helmets for everyone and another charity gives away locks so the bikes don't get stolen.