http://baglady.dreamhosters.com/  aug 28th post.   A blog I like.  She is Christian and one of her friends asked her if Christians were supposed to be stay at home moms.  She wrote a thoughtful post with bible references showing that the bible shows that a Christian wife is a good steward of money, family etc.  interesting!

 Good artical, I totally agree with her. Women, wives , have a lot of responsibilty. It is a juggling act. All of this works if we are in agreement and have the love that G'd meant for us to have for each other. Babs

That is true, without support you can't get much done and be happy about it.

Thanks for sharing that blog! I follow a few (Christian) blogs and am always happy to add another to my list.

My personal believe (and I feel it's backed by scripture) is that women's main purpose is to be the helpmate to her husband and to be the manager of her home. It is the husbands main responsibility to be the head of the home and the bread-winner. But, in my opinion, this doesn't prohibit women from working outside of the home or from bringing in her own share of the money when possible. As the article demonstrates with the example of the Proverbs 31 woman, being the wife and mother doesn't just mean being barefoot, pregnant, in the kitchen and waiting by your husband's feet to cater to his every need and desire. The Proverbs 31 woman exemplifies a woman that is very resourceful, contributes to her household in numerous ways, and who is anything but lazy or self-centered. She uses all of her knowledge and her ability to care for her household and does so with grace and enthusiasm. She is always busy and uses her time very wisely. She is a "jack of all trades". But I also feel that the Proverbs 31 woman centers all of her activities (including those that bring extra income to the house) around her home and therefore doesn't let a fast-paced and high-demanding career take over as her main focus. The entrepenoural (sp?) things she engages in COMPLIMENT her role as a wife and mother rather than take her focus away from those roles. In that sense, I see nothing wrong (personally or biblically) with a woman working.

There are many situations where the woman has to be the main bread-winner. Some situations we create ourselves but many are out of our control and often very sudden. We should always be prepared to pick up this role when needed. Therefore, I believe women should be educated and should always be aware of their skills and abilities.

But, in general, I do not believe that working outside of the home should be a woman's main goal in life (i.e. the career driven), it shouldn't be an escape from a woman's role as wife and mother and shouldn't take a back seat. This is a very controversial view and so I don't mean to offend anyone... that's just my opinion. I currently work outside the home and we are planning very hard to change that. But, in the mean time, I refuse to let my 40 hours per week job overshadow my roles as wife and manger of my home. I find ways to juggle it all and though it isn't always easy, I know that I am doing what God has called me to do.

God bless,

Julie

Oh.. and I wanted to add... when I am able to stay home, I plan to watch (babysit) at least 3 or 4 other children in my home. This will allow me to be home but will also allow me to help with the income some so that the transition isn't such a shock and burden on my husband. I feel that this is a great compromise and will be a "job" that is centered around my home rather than keeping me removed from my home. To me, that is the most important distinction.

God bless,

Julie

juju_mommy:

There are many situations where the woman has to be the main bread-winner. Some situations we create ourselves but many are out of our control and often very sudden. We should always be prepared to pick up this role when needed. Therefore, I believe women should be educated and should always be aware of their skills and abilities.

My family is an example of this.  My DH is disabled (traumatic brain injury).  I work full time.  It's a hard balance, but we make it work.  He has taken on the role of stay-at-home-dad and does the best he can at it.  In turn, I do my best at my job and when I am home I do my best at my tasks.  We have a nice division of labor, though I will admit my load is a bit heavier as I am physically capable of more and because sometimes DH simply doesn't feel well enough to do much more than sleep.  I do the cooking; DH does the dishes.  I do the laundry at the laundry mat; he puts it away when I bring it home.  I drive DD to and from school (I use my lunch break 3 days a week; the other 2 days she stays for the afternoon program); DH watches her at home on the afternoons she's there (which does save quite a bit of money).  I maintain our $$ spreadsheet; DH maintains our cats!  I do the grocery shopping; DH takes care of our "entertainment" plans (renting movies, couple time, etc.).

There are some things that never get done.  The house is never dusted enough.  My bookshelves could use a good going-through and so could DD's toys.  The dining room table is always cluttered.  The floors could stand to be swept more than once a week and the carpets vacuumed more often.  When I'm up and have the energy I do what I can.  When DH is feeling well he does as much as he can to help.  I still default to him to make many decisions.  And I don't always agree with them, but I respect them nonetheless.  Ultimately though, on most things, we are a joined force.

sunshinestreva ->

Thank you for sharing your story/situation. This is a perfect example of what I was talking about.... it sounds like you and your husband are doing a great job of working together. Like another poster said, God has his perfect plan but we know that things don't always go to plan and sometimes we, ourselves, fall short. Neither are avoidable. That's why I believe in women being educated and being aware of their skills and abilities so that they and their husbands know that, should something happen, they are able to step up to the plate and be the husband's help-mate in such a way. I never had a desire to get a PhD or to be a "career woman". But I am educated, talented with the computer and am very aware of my abilities (for each woman its different) so I konw that even if something happened to my husband, God forbid, I would be able to step up and provide as needed using the skills God gave me. I think it's important for all families to have some type of back up plan and even if it isn't official and down to the details, to at least have an idea of what we, as wives and moms, would do if this type of situation occured.

God bless you and your family!!!!

Julie 

I agree that both spouses need to support each other and help with chores, childcare etc.   Dh knows the more I work, the more he gets to help with the housework.   With children, especially young kids, it helps alot to have one parent at home.  less stress! .    I work part time because we need the money.  too expensive here. 

I believe both men and woman need to be educated and educated in cooking, housework etc. That way you can both help each other.  Life changes and we never know what support we will need.    We do have a basic traditional marriage though  I probably make more decisions so things will get done!  takes after his father that way. very easy going.