Dear Tracy LateNightLeader, But I think that Frank had good cause not to try to see the baby, due to the stalking, which is a crime.  Maybe, though, you're right.  You certainly have been "in teh system" years since when I was.  Love in Him, Deb

So even though the other parent (in this example of something frank and i BOTH witnessed first hand from the mother to her oldests dad) PAYS child support,  and gets weekends as per the custody agreement, its ok for her to say "if you dont pay my electricity, you cant see micheal this weekend" to micheal(the oldest)'s dad?

Or to kerricks dad (the 4 year old----but in this case its the 2nd wife--stepmom to kerrick who doesnt want him in HER home, but the dad wants the boy there more often then weekends) "if you dont give me rent $ you cant see kerrick for xmas" who also pays child support

 When frank tried to leave this woman(BEFORE she was pregnant) she threatened to kill herself if he left her, she called his phone every 2-5 minutes even WHILE he was at work, she dropped the couch on the cat because she got mad at him.......I was already living away from my ex, and frank was staying at my house 95% of the time, and could only bring his stuff a little bit at a time (because she kept threatening to kill herself, one day  she threw his other cat and put it in the OVEN and almost got it turned on till he walked out of the bathroom and saw what she was doing---cat got brought to me that day), it took 3 months for him to get all of his stuff OUT, the other 5%  of the time he was at her house, sleeping on the couch and would wake up numerous times to his clothes being taken off of him, to her getting on top of him even after repeatedly telling her NO

 This woman has been homeless 4 differnt times, she is supposed to be on medication for depression, she has a degree in accounting so there is NO reason as to not know how to budget your bills-----you dont go spend $150 on NEW clothes and toys(not even thrift store or yardsale items) when your rent hasnt been paid, so that because you got toys and clothes you dont have enough for rent, so you take electric money and pay the rest of rent, well now your electric isnt paid, yet its ok to eat fast food 3x a week? 

we meet with the lawyer on tuesday august 26, and if we can get at least 50% custody thats a start---we have some stuff, we have been getting clothes for OUR house, bottles, formula,  baby food, we have a crib, a carseat, a stroller---highchair and playpen are next

 we get the baby again on friday morning @ 730am(as soon as she has to leave the shelter, this way we know the baby isnt outside in 95  degree whether ALL day---when we got him on tuesday he had been outside since 730 am, and it was 95 degrees outside at 1 pm, this baby was  COVERED in a double lined FLANNEL blanket---winter style)

AmyC:

She may not have been homeless if she had been recieving child support, etc.  I think that I probally would have "stalked" my child's father too if he had just walked away.  I would have wanted to remind him of his resposibilities towards that child.  While it was wise to wait for a paternity test, was there a reason it took SOOO long?

The mom's caseworker will most likely be dealing with DHS, to get and order child support from all 3 fathers, especially if the first two only pay once in awhile. Support will be ordered for the third father (Frank). I am not updated on what amount of support is normal for one child now days? $300-400 a month, or is it more?

As to WHY it took so long for paternity testing to be done---that was this womans decision, frank asked AS SOON AS THE BABY WAS BORN IN FEBUARY AND THIS WOMAN DECLINED IT, until it was "convient" for her

Well does sound like the woman has issues.  Seems like she needs some life skills and meds.

Brandy:

Would that still be true if he didn't know he was actually the father?

I would say if someone is having sex with someone, on the couch OR in a bed,  and nine months later a baby is born, I would say it's pretty sure it's your baby.   I plan to include this in sex ed for my kids. It doesn't matter if you're on top, on bottom, or hanging by your heels, those baby makers can swim with no real neeed for gravity, despite what you might have heard. If you are living with two women, in two apartments, chances are since that was your partner, and your couch, and 270 days, it is your baby.  

in your "sex ed" to your children, make sure you tell them both a MAN or WOMAN can be raped, and people who are raped can have babies too

latenightleader:

I would say if someone is having sex with someone, on the couch OR in a bed,  and nine months later a baby is born, I would say it's pretty sure it's your baby.

The woman having multiple partners changes that though. Any of them could be the father, should they all step up and take responsibility as if they were indeed the actual Father?

I am torn on this one. Were it my partner, I think I would be disappointed if he didn't take some responsibility from the start but at the same time I wonder if it's really fair to ask that of a man. It's a difficult situation all the way around.

arianasilver:

It seems pretty obvious from Latte's description that the woman can hold a job but refuses too and is using her children for sympathy and money

Do you always believe anything you hear or read? Ever hear of the old saying " believe nothing of what you hear and half of what you see." Remember there are always two sides of every story, we are only "hearing" one side.

arianasilver:

Its one thing to get laid off and can't make the bills.  Its another to not step up and get a job when you need to support your kids

Once again, we don't know the whole story. If she has depression issues and maybe she can not afford to pay for her medications, which would pose a problem trying to get a job, or maybe she can not afford the daycare, or maybe the fathers are deadbeat dads and don't pay child support every month. Who know's for sure.