Ariana, can you type up what you just wrote for us and send it both to child protective services and the police?  You can highlight that you witnessed her throwing him into the pool while saying she wants to drown him. You also saw him wandering down the street because she kicked him out of the house, etc.  Don't be afraid to be annoying until someone takes notice.  This kid's life is at stake.  I'm praying!  I can imagine how overwhelming and frustrating this is!

I'll also be praying for the baby in the original post!  May you have wisdom about the next step!

Mimi:

Ariana, can you type up what you just wrote for us and send it both to child protective services and the police? 

We've already done that.  The police won't come unless she's physically abusing him (i.e. if she were hitting him or holding him under water, just holding him in the pool and threatening isn't enough).  They tell us to call CPS. We call CPS with a detailed list (everyone is keeping one) and they say "Thank you for the call" and hang up.  We just keep calling, hoping if they get enough calls they'll actually do something.  But of course you can see a police car, etc. coming a mile away where we live, and she's miraculously been keeping him inside for the past few days.  And making a big show of taking him to the zoo and a waterpark. So I think they got a call or a visit. But that's just temporarily fixing the problem. But if she's nicey nice while CPS is there there's nothing they can do.

That makes me sick to my stomach from here.  I can only imagine how hard that is to see. I'm sure it also means a lot to him that you're showing him love whenever you see him. 

Thank you for bringing up some important points, Tracy.

Latte, when does Frank go to see the lawyer?

  breaks your heart seeing innocent kids in those situations.   I can't add anything except  phone, document everything (tape or audio maybe?) so important and pray.  I hope something happens for the best soon. 

I agree if you go for full custody right away, it puts you in a bad light since child services hasn't removed the children before. You will not get far but starting with part custody which Frank has a right too will give you headway.  No matter what you think and I agree with you, she is still the kids mother so you have to make nice to get access to the baby.   keep baby supplies at your place is the best way to go plus you look better to social services.  also proves that she doesn't provide for the baby but on the other hand, they can say that since Frank is the father, he should have those items at home. catch 22.

good luck.

Here they try to put kids with relatives first.  My friend who is raising her granddaughter (mom woman of the streets drugs etc, her son is dead) got a call because the mom had another baby which was taken away at birth and social services wanted her to take her. She didn't because she has enough on her plate/can't afford it and the baby is not related to her except that it is her granddaughters half sister. better to be adopted.   same with someone else, they ended up with his neices kids for a few months because of issues too.

Dear Latte, Ariana, & All, I am praying for both Latte's Frank's baby, & for the 4-year-old's & baby's neighbors of Ariana.  "Praise G-d but pass the ammunition!"  I agree completely that for Frank's baby, shared custody is the way to start (requesting).  I also agree completely that, Ariana, you need to call the police & Child Protective Services EVERY TIME that you see abuse of those poor children.  In most States -- if my 1st prize in law school in Family Law serves me at all -- there is at least a history of removing children from the home for neglect as well as for outright abuse.  Yes, the emphasis now is on family reunification, but 1st the children have to be in foster ccare for that to be an issue.  Yours in Him, Deb

latte4me2day:

*she STALKED frankenstein so bad taht she sent her eldest on his bike to "watch him" and called every 10 minutes, and left 30 emails and instant messages a day for him till he changed his phone # and his email

I''m sure, Deb and Martha, they will not be looking to change custody to a father who avoided the mother and didn't see the baby for the first 6 months.  Why would they look at changing custody?  I would say she would have a case for abandonment and termination of parental rights, not the other way around.  Just because you don't like the other parent is no reason to not parent. I would say she made due diligence to contact him.

I would just try to have good vistiation and support for the baby. 

latenightleader:

I would say she would have a case for abandonment and termination of parental rights, not the other way around.  Just because you don't like the other parent is no reason to not parent. I would say she made due diligence to contact him.

Would that still be true if he didn't know he was actually the father?

 As sad as it is, I have to agree with Tracy......if he had been parenting from the start, are we sure it would have come to this?   She may not have been homeless if she had been recieving child support, etc.  I think that I probally would have "stalked" my child's father too if he had just walked away.  I would have wanted to remind him of his resposibilities towards that child.  While it was wise to wait for a paternity test, was there a reason it took SOOO long?

Latte,  is Frank's name on the baby's birth certificate?  If not it can't be considered abandonment since you didn't attempt to have contact until the paternity testing came back.

 AmyC, when my friend had to do paternity testing it took a few months for it to come back.  Its more dangerous for the baby to test in-utero so if you wait until after the child is born that adds to the time.