Married for 15 years and have a 3-year-old DD.  I've just listed all our debts and added them up and DH still is glad that it's less than "most other people have".  He only asks how much I was able to pay on the credit card bill----I didn't say anything to him about how much he put on the credit card to make the bill that high!!

We're blessed with jobs, health, and each other.  The debts will be paid.  DH is doing better with spending and I'm trying not to be so hard on myself when I buy mid-day snacks for myself.  I am packing my lunch so that I don't have to leave the office and leaving the office is how I get my snacks!

 We're in a weird inbetween stage; husband has a great job (not as much money as we'd like, but stable and he loves them and they love him).  I'm 39, he's 34.   No kids, four pets.  I used to be a workaholic (still am, really) but a layoff two years ago and then a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis a year and 3 months ago have made huge dents in what I'm able to do compared to before. (Which my husband says slows me down to normal people, lol.)  So I've not been working in the regular work force for almost 2 years now.  I'm trying to make a go of multiple streams of income, right now.  I'm pretty good with my hands; I'm a wire art jeweller, and have expanded my small fair business to making soaps, salves, lotions, and hair conditioners (geared for people with allergies, because the husband is allergic to the planet and he's my test monkey, grin.)  I'm doing some fun recycled crafts for my booth at fair, as well.  I also am a professional storyteller with over 20 years of experience, and in recent years learned rune-reading.  All of these things still don't add up to a full time income, but I'm trying.

 His father has cancer and the prognosis is not good; luckily on the financial side his folks are really self-sufficient so our thin finances don't have to stretch further (that's kind of cold, I guess, but we couldn't help with money, anyway!)  My parents are still healthy and self-sufficient. 

 

We are very religious people (pagan, please no flames here, it's what works for us) and we've been working hard at providing sacred space for others of our faith to worship in, and also working on pagan-based charity projects.  I'm also trying to find ways to help the local animal shelter; I don't have any money for them at the moment, but on their request list is liquid laundry detergent, and I am determined to make a couple of batches and bring them over. Animals have been very important in both our lives; our pets are family to us and have saved our sanity many a time (as well as making us laugh daily.  Who needs cable?0

 

Our longterm goals are a more regularized income for me, and retirement planning.  My short-term goal is to save for a tattoo before I turn 40 (a fleur-de-lis, to honor my french grandmother, grin) .  

Next month i will be 62.  looking forward to retirement with pay..   i have 3 grown children,  2 close by and youngest about 2 hrs away.  i have lived in same place for about 36 yrs, so it is paid for and was updated about 4 yrs ago by my kids.  [they are the best].  i retired about a year ago a little early.  i cant do what i use to about 4 yrs ago, but im still very active .   love the garden and yard.   love to be outside and mow grass, plant garden, etc.  i had  been a cashier , then when i quit work i was an insurance agent.  dont miss any of it at all.  i am a homebody and dont like to mix and mingle in person, but dont mind being on computer and talking.  So, im in a great stage of my life and enjoying every minute.  love the frugal sites and make it my way of life and have for almost as long as i can remember.   am very happy with that way of life,  lot less hassle and headaches worrying about bills .  and that helps when you dont have lots of money to work with.  of course, when i worked , i still watched all my pennies.   

Empty nester. My DS & DD are away at school. I'm over the empty nest syndrome. The problem is my DH's job takes him away for 3/4 of the time; he had to take this position or risk losing his job within the year (not a great scenario for someone in his 50's in this global economy.) So, I'm a bit of a recession widow. Anyway, I count my blessings. He has a job, I have a job, and we have health.

Hey!  I found this thread a little late but it's been interesting reading about everyone's stage in life.

 I am 37 and DH is 35.  We have been married 14 years and have one DS who will be 10yo very soon.  Hubby and I met when he was 18 and I was 20 and we got married exactly two years later.

We are both college graduates.  DH works as an electrician at a large paper mill and I am a stay-at-home wife and mother.  We bought our home when I was 24 and DH was 22 and it will be paid for in 9 years.

DH is planning on always working, partly because we don't plan to live very long! LOL

  We live a mile from my parents, who are 66 and plan to live forever!  I also have an older brother who is disabled.  He lives on his own now but I foresee taking care of him in the future.

We go whichever way God leads us in this gift of life!

luv ~dolly

I am perimenopausal and we have a 13 year old hormonal daughter and a testosteron inflamed 17 year old son.  I think my husband is the only sane one at the moment. 

I just found this thread that started last year.  To say the least ... it has been interesting to read through.  So many different people.  Here's my two cents. 

My 49th birthday was this year, yep, 50 is creeping up on me fast!  Married my high school sweetheart 25 years ago, 2 grown kids, oldest daughter will be 30 this year and lives about 3 hours away, and youngest daughter will be 28.  She just married a nice guy who is the same age as us, they live in TN.  Not sure how that May-December relationship will work out but she seems happy.  

We own and run a woodworking shop.  We are together 24-7.  Lots of people have asked how we are able to be with each other all the time without killing each other but that is not a problem for us.  We truly enjoy each other and being together.  We started playing grown-up at a pretty young age and MarthaMFI opined at the beginning of this thread if they waited too long to have kids at this age.  Don't know the answer to that but I can say that having babies as a teen-ager is no picnic!  But we made it through and are happy and content with our life together.  I've always liked something that Dr. Phil says, "Sometimes you make the right decision, sometimes you make the decision right".  That is what we did without ever talking about what we were doing.  If we had gone through pre-marital counceling I'm pretty certain we would have been advised to not get married!  I was diagnosed with MS 20 years ago and that is becoming more of a struggle for me now than when I was younger.

Now I work full-time with my best friend.  We do whatever we can to grow our business together. We aren't debt free but we are living a life style that is pleasing to both of us.   Hubby is a professional real-bearded Santa to help earn extra income.  Gotta tell ya, when we were 16 it never occurred to me that I would be married to Santa! 

 

 I'm coming up  to 53 this year, divorced with 2 daughters 30 and 27.  Had a few boyfriends but no one that  has lasted.  I guess I feel better alone. The eldest DD is married and has been for 3 years, has a lovely house an hour away, great hubby and good job.  The 27 yr old DD  lives in Vancouver,  has a great job and a  super boyfriend.  Both my son in law and the boyfriend were born on the same day in the same year and it shows.  They are wonderful and I could not ask for better men for my girls.  I was married at 18 and a half, immigrated to Canada from the UK 6 weeks after being married in 1975.  Got divorced after 26 yrs as I could not stand to stay any longer.  In effect, it had been a mistake from the word go but I was not allowed to leave home unless I was off to University or to get married.  I dd not want my daughters to be brought up by a single parent so I stayed until the youngest one graduated.  We just led separate lives  a lot.  He was very selfish and I did everything around the house and yard and bought the girls up and worked part time too.  I walked away from the house we had built in 1990 and went through my divorce money very quickly.  Spending to make you feel better does not work.  I found that out very quickly.

I quit my job of 4 and a half years December 2008  after suffering burnout and exhaustion.  it was a case of either go  and get my sanity back or fall to pieces and end up in the physchiatric (sp) ward.  I had gone through a lot over the last 5 yrs and it all came together in one lump sum.  I was on medical EI for 15 weeks and now am on regular EI for 41 weeks.  I have to get a job before it runs out or else I will have nothing to live on.

No debts but also no savings either. Had to wait 10 weeks before any benefits were paid and I went through my savings.  I also went through Bankruptcy 5 years ago after the divorce  but did try paying my debts off for 20 months through Orderly Payment first.  I was diagnosed with PCOS and had diabetes and high blood Pressure, SAD,  and Chlolesterol and clinical depression and this all took more money than I had.  Paying $750 a month towards my bills and no medical aid took its toll.  Right now through being out of work the Government is paying for my meds and I have taken on a new lease on life.  I relax, eat right, have learnt to ride a maxi scooter and enjoy puttering around in my rented suite and garden.

My Father just died 2 weeks ago and my Step Mum is fine.  they lived in Calgary.  My younger sister and family live in Calgary and we talk often.  My youngest sister lives in Kelowna and we talk infrequently - she is the black sheep of the family.  My elder brother lives in the UK and we email occasionally.  I do have many friends here and  a few cousins, nieces and nephews still in the UK.

Things could be much much worse and I have lots to be  thankful for.  I can cook, and garden and enjoy this wonderful World of ours.

Sally.

 

I sometimes feel like I don't fit neatly into any of the standard stages of life. I'm 36 and my husband is 38, and in many ways we are a staid middle-aged couple. We have been married nearly five years, we have been homeowners for two years, and a lot of our time and energy (not to mention money) goes into the house and garden. We are more homebodies than social butterflies; although we get together with friends a couple of times a week, we are much more likely to spend a free evening puttering around the house than out partying. In some ways, though, I feel younger than my peers who have kids, even the ones who are actually younger than I am. It seems like all the young parents we know are incredibly wrapped up in their kids and devote most of their time and energy to satisfying their children's needs and wants (to the point where it can sometimes seem like it is the kids and not the parents who are in charge). So in a way, I feel like I must be at an earlier stage of life than they are, because we have more freedom and less responsibility. No one depends on us except our cat, and she can manage just fine on her own for a weekend. In fact, I often feel like I have more in common with friends in their fifties and sixties whose kids are grown and out of the house (or who never had kids at all) than with people close to my own age who are raising young children. Is it possible to skip the "soccer parents" life stage and go straight to "empty nesters"?

Yes I do believe it is possible to feel more like an empty nester then those your own age. Raising children completely engulfs your life. You don't have children, so your life is going another direction. I know a couple as friends who never had children. They were clueless to the struggles we had, the joys we experienced, the trials we went through. My DH and I also were clueless to their situation. That's okay! We loved them and they loved us and our family. Yes, it was awkward at times. I was jealous of the vacations they took, the new clothes, things for the house, and peace and quiet they so often had. My friend also said she envied me at times, working on projects with the kids, holiday surprises, and always activities going on at our home. So be it. We each had advantages and disadvantages. At times out relationship drifted apart, and we didn't see our friends for a few years, then we would reconnect, and it was good again. Make the most of where your at in your life journey and you will have a very satisfying life.

Darlene