John and I are empy-nesters. We both work from home, though and are here to help our two kids whenever they hit a rough spot in life. Right now, we're grieving for our son's three year marriage. She simply up and left him for reasons that still baffle us. Anyway, while he still maintains his own place, we have him over for dinner and companionship most nights.

We live an interesting life but sometimes it can be financially challenging. Still, you wake up every morning thinking "anything could happen today!"

I am 38, single mom to a 7 year old boy with autism and adhd.  My challenge is getting out of debt, while continuing my retirement savings and college savings for my son.  I'm also rebuilding my emergency fund...I've had to use it for unexpected expenses. 

My son requires medication ($30 for a 30-day supply), therapy ($25/visit) and regular visits to the pediatric neurologist ($25/visit) and pediatrician ($15).  It doesn't seem like a lot, but it adds up!  I'm going back to court on Sept 26 to get his father to pay child support (he owes $21,000)...all prayers welcomed!!! 

 

 Esiders, you have a lot on your plate!  I was wondering if you could ease up a little on college savings, I think when your son is there he will have some more chances for grants or scholarships due to disabilities.  I know from looking at  literature he will be able to get free assistance with tutoring, a special ed kind of program on campus.  

Dear Esiders, Your court date is almost exactly in a month.  I'll be praying for you to get his child support enforced!  Yours in Him, Deb

latenightleader:

 Esiders, you have a lot on your plate!  I was wondering if you could ease up a little on college savings, I think when your son is there he will have some more chances for grants or scholarships due to disabilities.  I know from looking at  literature he will be able to get free assistance with tutoring, a special ed kind of program on campus.  

  Latenightleader - Life is a bit crazy around here, but I try not to let it get me down.  I have so many blessings in my life...my little guy is just the sweetest kid with a great disposition, always smiling and happy...its hard to be negative around him! AS for the college savings, I'm just trying to put aside a little something for ($10-20,000).  It won't be nearly enough to fund his education, but hopefully will pay for some books and incidentals.

Thank DeborahMichelle - we need as many prayers as possible around here.

I call it the stage of realization which stemmed from being a member of the sandwhich generation.  My mother is in her 70's, my sole sibling in her late 40's is disabled and has Muscular dystrophy and I have 3 teenagers.  About 3 1/2 years ago when my mother retired I realized we needed to be 100% self-sufficient including in emergencies.  Someone once said "It takes a generation and 1/2 to get out of poverty."  Both my husband and I were raised from poor families.  We both got educated which was the first step and did so without accrueing too much educational debt.  ($9,000 total between us- I got a 1 year degree and he has a bachelors plus some other college classes.)  However when we started making money it was difficult to learn how to manage that money- and needless to say we did make some poor decisions.  We went from a family that was used to making a living on $25,000 to a family that was making $75,000. 

So now I spend my mid to late 30's relearning that I don't have to keep up with Jones's.  I keep reminding myself in 9 years we will only have 1 car loan and will have 2 houses to show for our hard work or 1 house and some remodeling done to the other if the situation presents itself to sell one of them.  At that time we can remodel a house with cash. Its better to live within your means and pay down debt while working hard.  That is one lesson that is invaluable to show your kids.  Hard lesson to learn- thats why I call it the stage of realization.  Hard stage to go through with teenagers but when your honest with them about things- you hope they learn from your mistakes.  

lorilwayne:

Its better to live within your means and pay down debt while working hard.  That is one lesson that is invaluable to show your kids.  Hard lesson to learn- thats why I call it the stage of realization.  Hard stage to go through with teenagers but when your honest with them about things- you hope they learn from your mistakes.  

Don't worry, they do. Both of my grown kids are very careful with their money, something their dad and I had to learn the hard way. As you say, you must be open and honest with them.

Dear Esiders, What is happening with the child support issue?  Yours in Him, Deb

Not sure what stage I am in , LOL, maybe the stage of trying to be debt free?   Doing good, xcept the morgage and a small medical bill. 

  I am divoced, and my kids are 20, dd in college, and 2  sons at home, 19 and 15.  The 19 yo son works full time, but I am trying to get him to take a few college classes too.

  I work as a waitress and put any extra money   I can towads my morgage!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 I'm 26, DH is 31. We've been married 2.5 years and have a 1 year old son (plus my 16 year old brother a lot of the time!). We're in that "I'm so tired and I always have too much to do" stage of life: I have my own law practice and a freelance writing career, DH has his property management and is taking the bar in February, and I currently volunteer about 45 hours per month (It's about justice, not just us, after all). The challenge with being young and having so much on our plate is that there's a lot that just kind of goes to the pottop on the home front. Okay, that's a lie--I just freakin' hate cleaning. Hate. And so I don't do it. DH hates it too. And so, we clean up gross stuff (washing dishes, taking out diapers, etc) and the mess is just...a mess.I guess the real challenge is to be just starting out and not knowing where we want to go with ourselves. For example, I've had an article published on and been invited to speak at the ABA National Meeting in one of my practice areas...and I'm not sure I want to stay in that practice area! DH is taking the bar, but has no idea if he plans to even use his license once he has it. It's that whole looking-for-yourself thing that comes with being on the start of life's path.

The other challenge is being young and having health problems. People just don't expect it; young, energetic, slim woman must be healthy seems to be the expectation. In reality, I have severe asthma, digestive issues, and some hormonal issues that make things a challenge physically (and financially--my asthma medicines add up to about $500/month, but breathing wins). So people get very impatient and grumpy when I'm slower than they expect someone my age to be, or when I have to plow down the line to the restroom like a pregnant woman, not expecting that it's a health-issue.