elovestea:

What is happening now is very much like it was in the late 1970's and early 1980's;  

The pay raises that my husband got never kept up with inflation; it is a sore point for me when I read about people saying that government employees are overpaid, we certainly weren't. We always had to live frugally just to cover basic expenses. Edey

My mother worked for the fedral goverment most of her career life including during that time and saw one pay raise a year (something like 2 or 3%). Dad worked for GE during the same time and often saw a cost of living raise every few months. The union had it written in their contract that the employees would be pay a wage that kept up with inflation. Every time the cost of living (especially gas and interest rates) went up he got a pay raise, something like 3% every quarter till the ecomony finally leveled off.

jennylyn:

I would love to find something to do at home on a part time/on call basis.  A little extra cash would really help out with paying off bills and increasing our savings! 

For a couple years I worked as an on call sub teacher's aid/assistant with the school district. One of the things I liked about it was that I would always be working while the dks were in school and would be home early enough that day care wasn't needed. One of the things I hated was that there wasn't any job training. I filled out my application and they called me in the morning with the job site and hours needed. When I got to the school I was told where to go and nothing else. Thankfully they've changed things since then and the district now requires 2 or 3 weeks of training for the sub aids/assistants before they are called in.

DH and I have this discussion about every six months (since first ds was born in 2004) to evaluate our lifestyle, job security, career happiness, income, debt, cost of living, everything financial...savings, retirement, investments, Roths, etc. Our goal (besides being debt free) is to reduce the need for my income so that I can work only the hours I want to work (10-15 per week). This is Plan A. I find fulfillment in my job--working to make the legal system better for all people.

I bring in 55% of the income. DH, 45%. I work 30 hours per week, DH works 50+ hrs. I have the more affordable health insurance ($400 per month family vs $475). DH has a defined benefit retirement plan (the best) while I have a cash balance retirement plan. DH will make more in retirement than I will, even with a slightly higher salary. We focus a lot on retirement. Ugh. I am 32 and DH is 36.

The reason I look to retirement is my 73 year old father is still working 40+ hours a week. He says he has no choice as he has to pay for medical treatments for my mother (stage III cancer, her big, good drug is not FDA approved for her cancer and costs $8000 a month--which they can afford as long as my dad keeps working) as well as long-term care for both of them. He has been self employed his whole career. My mother has a small pension from teaching in the public schools for 15 years (before I was born). She draws Social security off of my dad's contributions. She will have to draw from her pension next year when she turns 70. That will help.

If I quit my job today, we could survive (and I use the term "survive" on purpose) on DH salary. I say today b/c we have no credit card debt and our cars are paid off--a year ago, no way. But one small, little, tiny, thing would be hard to recover as there is absolutely no wiggle room. Ds could not even attend pre school--no money. We would have to drop life insurance. We could not pay extra on our mortgage. I would have no further contributions to retirement. (That scares me). We are not extravagent. We live in a 3 BR 1950s ranch in a modest neighborhood which borders a very blighted area with high crime (7 blocks away). But costs of living are high and DH is a teacher--not a high salary (but his yearly raises are more than my raises as a state employee so he is catching up quickly).

If DH quit his job today, we would have a little more breathing room as I make a little bit more. But when we retire, it would possibly hurt us then. But DH and I have determined I would be the parent better suited to stay home with our kiddos. He LOVES his job, by the way.

We know that any stay-at-home plan could be modified and one of us could go back to work after 5 or 10 years. I could not find a job in my competitive market. DH could teach again easily.

DH has a chance for advancement as he has his masters degree in administration. If he were to get an admin job, his salary would almost double and I could quit my job and he could fund my Roth so I wouldn't worry about my future. That's Plan B.

Can you make it on one income in today's world? Yes--the people on this forum are doing it and doing it well. Is it scary? For me, yes. My children are thriving and I am home with them more than they are away from home. They know when it's a mommy day and they know (and love) school days. If my children were hurting, this would be a non-issue. If I couldn't work from home part-time, this would be different as well.

Erika & Martha-sounds like you've got a great setup!  I hope to be able to contribute at some point in the future as well (both for myself and for our financial picture).

Thanks for the suggestion nanagain about sub teaching.  It's something I have considered in the past as well.  I appreciate hearing your experience with it; like anything there is good and bad, but it sounds like a good compromise between not having a committed schedule and decent pay too.

My youngest is 11 months old and I know that I will do something in the future when both kids are in school (and anymore kids if we have them!).  I try to do little things now as well (sell for people via consignment on ebay and small freelance projects); and I consider saving money by doing as many things myself as I can to be a way to "make" money at this time.  But we are not saving as much as I would like and certainly not paying down debt as fast as I would like.  I try to be patient as the time will come when I can easily go back to work part time and not have to pay most, if not all, of my pay to day care costs.  In the meantime, I am truly grateful that I have this opportunity with my kids. 

Neat to hear everyone's experiences!

Probably the only thing I am doing differently is really watching gas usage and really making sure we are eating from the pantry/fridge/feezer. Really trying to be creative about leisure time too. This weekend, while out running errands, I bought the kids a slip-n-slidish-type toy. That kept them entertained for the whole day. While searching for meals in the fridge, I found an opened 2-liter bottle of Sam's Choice gingerale and a container of drink mix that needed to be used up so I made "scavenger" punch. A big hit. We did invest in a small outdoor fireplace and had a fire and s'mores. We have been having a lot of fun this weekend for very little money.

 We periodically revisit me working outside of the home but the price of both gas (we live in a rural area and I would have to commute) and daycare costs (two full-time and three in after school care) really make it cost prohibitive, We will just continue to do what we have been doing the past few years which is trying to keep the money dh earns. We try to save as much as we can.

Before we moved to this state, I worked part-time at a hospital where I worked for a low wage but received excellent insurance benefits.

 Colleen 

I've been a homemaker/SAHM since the day we got married. Brian is and has been self employed for over 13 years now. Just within the last 3-4 years have our finances been really good. However, we are both aware that the bottom could fall out at any given moment. Right now, we are paying for medical insurance out of our own pockets. Almost $900 a month for the 4 of us. It would be closer to $700, if I were to drop the maternity rider on my policy, but with my past infertility issues, and being that I believe that God does have a sense of humor, we'll probably keep it, just in case. Or until Brian gets snipped! LOL Anyway, with that being said, I try to watch what I spend, but it isn't always so easy for me to do. I drive a pick up truck that is almost 11 years old. Brian's work truck is 8 years old. They're both paid for, they're both diesels, and they're both 4 wheel drive. We are now considering buying the same pick up truck I currently drive (same year, model, etc.), the only difference is, my truck has an extended cab with a full size bed, and the "new" truck has a crew cab (4 doors), and the shorter bed. Our 8 year old twins are quickly outgrowing the extended cab's backseat. I try to run all my errands in one day, but living 20-30 minutes away from the nearest town, sometimes makes that very hard to do, when dealing with school schedules, ball games, etc. You know, a year ago, when diesel was less than gas, it wouldn't take much to see me run to the grocery store one day, meet a girlfriend for lunch the next day, and then 2 days later, make a run for dog food, or something else. However, I'm changing my ways, doing the errands in 1 full, but sometimes 2 shorter days. I usually take the kids to school in the morning, but at least 3 days a week, they're riding the bus home. At first, it was because I wanted to extend my kid free time, but now it's to save on diesel fuel. But, with only 9 days of school left, it'll be easier to save on fuel, as well as wear & tear on the truck.

Like so many of you have mentioned, it is truly a personal matter and one's own perspective on finances and lifestyle. We have satellite tv, but we don't go to movies or shows, etc. It is truly our only form of entertainment. The internet isn't a neccessity, but our business pays for it. Our trucks are paid for, we're able to pay a little toward the principle on our mortgage every month (with the goal of having it paid off before the kids graduate from high school), I try to cook from scratch as much as possible, buy the kids clothes on clearance or at thrift stores as much as possilble, plant a garden and preserve as much as I can, etc.

One of the reasons I decided to be a volunteer at the school is because I'd love to get on as a teacher's aide. The principal knows this, and is one of the reasons he asked me to volunteer. He basically said that when a position becomes available, he'd do what he could to get me hired. I want the job basically for the health benefits, and Brian has already said I could spend my earnings however I wanted. LOL That could come back to bite him in the butt!! My plan, should I get a job at the school, would be to invest my income or just put it in our savings. Plus it would be nice to have just in case, God forbid, something did happen with Brian's work/business.

 We have tried living on one income on an on again off again way for the past 5 years.  However, the truth is that our debt load does not allow it without some creative financing.  We have rented out extra rooms in the past, I have babysat, and we have made things work.   Things will be easier once DH is finished with school, but for now I need to have some income, so I work part time (24 hrs or so).  I have a hard time justifying not working more, especially because we don't have kids.  Yet our lives just seem to be so much calmer when one of us is home.  We will never be well-off, because DH's wages will top out at about $22-25 an hour (not a lot in this area).  Yet we will be okay.  

I wish my dh still made $25 an hour plus overtime and benefits.....we were very comfortable until the housing market crumbled.

I agree with Gigi. Most young men today expect their live in girlfriends (because no one wants to marry anymore) to do their share plus childcare costs because after all she had the baby so that expense belongs to her.

My dad would never think of having my mom work, it was a sign that he wasn't a good provider.

Dh and I have done it both ways and he'd rather have me working at saving money at home. He hated coming home at night to an empty house and no dinner.

I know, now it seems that you are expected to work, do all the childcare, housework etc.  I guess men who think that way don't think about that is that case, why bother with having them around.  but I think society went one way and will shift back to a happy medium.     I think the kids today want a more traditional arrangement and responsibles.   I think it makes them feel better about themselves in the long run.

 I am a SAHW, no kids.  We do fine, my husband makes a very good income as a governement employee with excellent benefits.  He has a very bright career if he chooses to stay with the DoD.  But should he choose to move on to bigger and better pay we would still do fine.  We save 50% of our income and have since he was in Grad School the first time.  We are buying our first home, a 1900 square foot tanch style home that needs work, but we love it.  We live 1 mile out of the city limits in the county and have one acre of fenced yard.

We travel and live all over the world with his job and have invested in furniture and vehicles that will last us a lifetime.  I do regret not being able to work in my field, but for now we are following his career.  I am very domestic and love being home, ironing, hand washing dishes, hanging my laundry on drying racks, canning and preserving foods, cooking meals every day, vacuuming, etc.  

Things some times get a bit tight, but this week we made the last payment on his student loans($61k).  We have been paying on them for over 10 years, nice to have them gone!  : )  Although he is talking about getting his PhD and teaching when he retires in 40 years from this job.  Anyway the $500 a month that went to these payments will now go to aggressively pay off our last car loan($3500+).  We also paid off our last cc 2 weeks ago and have been living on a cash basis for sometime and love it.

Once the car loan is paid off we will triple our house payments and get this place paid for.  Then we will be completely out of debt except for utilities and groceries, about 7 years if all goes as planned.  We both have extremely large life insurance policies, great health benefits, are doing well on our retirement fund, and our investments are staying steady so far.  

All we can do is sit and wait to see what happens and continue to progress forward.  : )