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spending frustration

Last post Mon, Aug 19 2013 9:29 PM by nanagain13211. 14 replies.
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  • Wed, Aug 14 2013 6:10 AM

    spending frustration

    I'm having a very hard time staying on track with my budget. I know what dh&I earn and what bills need to be paid and when but for some reason (maybe menopause) lately I've been having a very hard time staying focused. When I get paid at the end of the week I get $10 to spend on what I want but for some reason the last few months I'll be spending 7-8x that and justifying it in my mind as ok when I know it's not.

    Last week I knew dh &I only had $27 for groceries the rest was to go to July's mortgage, I wasn't even taking money out for myself. I got a coupon in the mail for JoAnn's that took 20% off the total purchase and noticed that nursery prints were 40% off (60% off total). Dc's dd's baby shower is in a couple months and I could have held off. Instead I went to the store and spent $75 on stuff for her baby shower because it was the last day of the sale and I wasn't sure when I'd see those prices again before the baby shower (I know what they will be on black friday).

    Dh &I went grocery shopping I noticed that one of the stores had gb on salefor $1.99 a lbs over 10 lbs. Because of the way dh messed things up with the taxes we weren't able to get our yearly meat supply so I figured I'd look at the meat, maybe buy 1 pkg, just 1. When we got to the store they also had cases (40 lbs) of chicken breast for $75.60. I ended up buying 20 lbs of hamburger and a case of breast justifying that it will last us several months and it's food so we needed it.

    This isn't like me! I normally stick to my budget coming in slightly under!

    Has this happened to anyone else? How did they stop? Is this just menopause going out of control???? 

    thrift is a sign of intelligence, any fool can spend money


    A merry heart does good like a medicine; but a broken spirit drieth the bones. Proverbs 17 verse 22
  • Wed, Aug 14 2013 10:06 AM In reply to

    Re: spending frustration

    This sounds like a bad trend! :) I recently had a different problem. Went to look for a new sofa and (as usual) picked out one of the highest quality sofas in the store...absolutely fell in love with it. Even negotiated on it and got the price down a bit. Now, there is no doubt at all that we need a new sofa. And, in retirement, I don't want to have to buy another, ever! To make it even tastier, we could put it on a plan of 5 yrs.to pay with no interest. I felt the tug...the strong pull...well... Decided to go home and think about it for a week. Ended up shelving the whole thing for now. So my weakness is seeming to mostly want quality and willing to 'sacrifice' for it. I am proud of myself tho, for doing this one right! :)
  • Wed, Aug 14 2013 10:34 AM In reply to

    Re: spending frustration

     yep happens to me all the time!  too many deals that you say hey I need that!   harder with less expensive items to say no.  maybe it is a way of the frustration of the last few months of things happening in your life coming out?     I guess it is not that bad as long as you don't repeat it by buying more some to replace it. like more baby shower gifts.   I find it goes away after a bit.

  • Wed, Aug 14 2013 10:52 AM In reply to

    Re: spending frustration

    After not spending, staying bare bones for a while, I tend to break out a bit, then I can go back to bare bones!  I like the term "frugal fatigue."  I remind myself of the things I recently bought, sometimes I go look at them if I am tempted to go to the store!   I recently bought a new carpet, I really want a new couch. The kids think we should buy a couch on credit. I compromised by spending $60 on a sherpa beanbag chair for an additional seat until I can get my couch without credit. I have a gift card towards the couch of $100. I try to be patient and look at what I have. 

  • Wed, Aug 14 2013 4:22 PM In reply to

    Re: spending frustration

     Yeah. It happens.  Can you find some motivation to get back on track?

    One time I couldn't get out of it, would even overspend at thrift stores...so I quit shopping for nearly a year.  I found other things to do.  Of course you need groceries but could dh do the groceries for a week or two?  Or you could go with a list and limited cash (no cards, no checks, no nothing) for a while.

    I found it also helps me to have some sort of a reward so I try to figure out non-money-based rewards.  Sometimes it's getting to spend and extra 2 hours on a day sitting and watching a movie from the library.  Or not going to some social event I said I'd attend (I'm an introvert...for extraverts i guess it would be attending more social events).   One time I went through my closet and shopped ther and wore all different outfits for the next week..things that had been buried.  Once I called a super creative friend and told him what food was in the house and he suggested an amazingly delicious recipe I could make from what was on hand.   What might work for you to relieve the frugal-fatigue?

  • Wed, Aug 14 2013 7:18 PM In reply to

    Re: spending frustration

    Thanks everyone at least I know I'm not alone. Right now I'm trying my best not to spend the last few dollars of my allowence from a few weeks ago making it last as long as possible till I can take another one. Monday through Friday isn't too much of a problem the driver I'm with most of the time is very frugal living which helps me stay on task more. It's the weekends when I'm home that I tend to run into the most trouble. Thankfully I haven't been to too many yard sales this summer and will probably stop at the thrift store sale on the 24th, the entire store is 50% off and I need a new stationary bike.

    Maggie Trudeau:
    Of course you need groceries but could dh do the groceries for a week or two?
     

    I wished I could Maggie but the last time he went shopping he spent $60 on 10 gallons milk, 2 1/2 gallons and 1 5 qt pail of ice cream, 2 cans of tuna and the rest potato chips.
    thrift is a sign of intelligence, any fool can spend money


    A merry heart does good like a medicine; but a broken spirit drieth the bones. Proverbs 17 verse 22
  • Thu, Aug 15 2013 6:52 PM In reply to

    Re: spending frustration

    Hi Nana, I agree with something else Maggie said, about finding another way to reward yourself. Since getting off-budget has only started happening recently, what helped in the past? I also like the term "frugal fatigue". When we keep depriving ourselves long term, eventually we snap. I agree with the concept of small or inexpensive rewards to keep you motivated. We have different accounts set up for different savings goals. And obtaining the goal is enough to keep us motivated for putting funds into that particular account, saving for a trip for instance, or saving to buy a new appliance with cash. that kind of thing. But for the daily budget grind, there isn't much of a 'prize' at the end of a long and sometimes grueling, tunnel, so I completely agree with needing little rewards along the way to keep us motivated to stay on budget. What do you really enjoy that is either free or very inexpensive? It has to be something you really enjoy. A trip to the library? Don't allow yourself to go unless you accomplished xyz on your budget that week. Or giving yourself a home manicure/pedicure.. tell yourself you can enjoy that if you stayed on track at the store that week. I do this with myself often with things I'm generally too lazy to do. heh I like to claim it is because of working hard all week, but for instance today I washed my car (finally.. it was overdue!) which I do by hand here. This evening I am going to rent a video I've wanted to see for some time. I wouldn't let myself do that till I washed the car. It reads to me like you've been depriving or putting yourself last for quite some time and something inside you just couldn't take it anymore. Hugs!
  • Thu, Aug 15 2013 8:07 PM In reply to

    • Walt34
    • Top 75 Contributor
    • Joined on Mon, Dec 17 2007
    • WV eastern panhandle
    • Posts 1,406

    Re: spending frustration

    It can be hard but the only way out is to exercise self-control. I stay out of stores unless I'm there for a specific item, buy it, and then get out.

    One way to keep it in check is to write a list before going to the grocery store, or any other store, and DO NOT buy ANYTHING that is not on that list. If it isn't on my list I don't buy it. End of discussion with self.

    Another way we use is that DW created a nice spreadsheet that is central to our daily financial matters. In it at the top is our income and then subtracted is the known expenses for that month such as estimated utilities, groceries, "spending cash" that we allow for things that come up like gifts or impulse spending, outstanding cc charges and the like. This is the 21st century so of course we use credit cards but we pay them off every month. When our allotted spending is spent, then spending stops for all but the most dire of emergencies, discussed below.

    The same thing can be easily done with a pen and paper, that's why they call it a spreadsheet, which is what businesses used before computers. You just have to do the arithmetic by hand with a calculator.

    And we always know exactly how much of that "allotted spending" is left because the spreadsheet automatically calculates it and at the bottom that number is displayed.

    Of course "stuff happens" and we have an amount in savings for that. Water heater broke? Transmission fell out of the car? Roof leaking? Not a problem, that comes out of the "stuff happens" fund. But here's the key: Money comes out of there for ONLY reasons that serious. Everyone else is going to the beach and we wanna go too? Great sale on something I or DW wants? Money for that does NOT come out of that fund. Ever. It takes total agreement from both of us that it is absolutely necessary to get a nickel out of that fund. Otherwise it simply does not exist.

    For example, last April it was a new central A/C and a water heater. The expense was not a problem for us because we knew they were going to go and planned on those things breaking someday. The money for that was in the "stuff happens" fund. We knew it was going to happen sure as tomorrow's sunrise. We just don't know when. And that money is being replenished bit by bit over the next couple of years because eventually and inevitably those items will need replacement again. And when they do we'll be prepared for it.

    So the key thing here is to be thinking years ahead, not daily, weekly or monthly.

    Financially, where do you want to be five years from now? Ten years? Twenty years? And what are you doing TODAY to make that happen?

    Because that's the only way it will happen.

    Officially Recognized Stretchpert in Money Management
  • Fri, Aug 16 2013 10:34 AM In reply to

    Re: spending frustration

    nanagain13211:

    Maggie Trudeau:
    Of course you need groceries but could dh do the groceries for a week or two?
     

    I wished I could Maggie but the last time he went shopping he spent $60 on 10 gallons milk, 2 1/2 gallons and 1 5 qt pail of ice cream, 2 cans of tuna and the rest potato chips.

     

    That made me LOL!   My mom had a similar experience with my dad.  She was sick sick sick and sent him for groceries (I must have been 3 or 4 because I wasn't in school yet).  He came home like a kid who'd been to the candy store.  He's standing over her sick bed (the couch with blankets and pillows) holding up a coconut and hershey's syrup asking if she KNEW you could get those at the grocery store!  She said YES she KNEW you could get those....then she rose like a phoenix from ashes (or a disgusted mom from her sick bed), put on some sweats and took it all back to the store. 

     

  • Fri, Aug 16 2013 12:10 PM In reply to

    Re: spending frustration

    Yes, happens to many of us. The thing about spending is either you control it or it controls you. There is some good advice here about sticking to budgets and lists, not spending on items out of budgets and basic needs and finding other ways to treat ourselves than things that involve spending. I learned the "needs vs wants" concept here and it really has helped me evaluate things I buy. I have to ask myself, "Do I REALLY NEED this or do I just want it?" It is very easy for me to get sucked into sales and if they are not in budget or on the plan and the item is not literal survival usage then I have to learn to say no and wait until I can afford it or just not get it. Yes of course a voice inside will whine or knock the back of your head mad that you didn't get it but spending money that isn't there to spend or budgeted for is only going to make things worse for me. I try to practice this when I shop, it's really helped and thanks to folks here or I would not of learned this and kept free spending and making even worse money issues over here. I look for healthy compromise or just have to flat out tell myself NO and stop before I start. Things put in a shopping cart or basket are harder to say no to for me than if I just keep going and pass them by.
    I am unable to delete my account. Therefore, I have signed out and will not be returning. Please do not contact me here, I will not get the message. God bless you all.
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