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Staying with Relatives While on a Vacation

Last post Wed, Jun 27 2012 11:57 PM by LifeofRiley. 10 replies.
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  • Tue, Feb 21 2012 1:34 PM

    Staying with Relatives While on a Vacation

    I am sitting on a couch in my daughter's home in Southern California. Outside, the sun is shining, the sky is blue and the temperature is close to seventy degrees. I don't miss the 4 inches of snow that fell last night on the streets of our home in Minnesota.

    I decided to spend eleven days with her, her husband and two childen. This vacation has a lot of benefits the best of which is spending time with the family. The accommodations are slightly primitive, sleeping on a blow up bed, in a living room and sharing bathrooms and a kitchen. 

    But the benefits and opportunity for saving are great.

    As a child, our family always spent vacation time with relatives in our extended families. We enjoyed their company, and they seemed content to share their homes with us. I would never have known my first cousins otherwise. I realize now what a privilege it was to meet and stay with them.

    I am wondering whether any of you have stayed with relatives while on vacation. Did it go well? Did you enjoy the experience? Were there any problems that developed?

    Summer is coming up. Many of you may want to travel. I hope that a discussion of vacation with relatives will share some thought and understanding for others. 






  • Tue, Feb 21 2012 2:45 PM In reply to

    Re: Staying with Relatives While on a Vacation

    Most of our vacations are staying with family, primarily because we're usually there to see them. It goes with varying degrees of success. My family is very stressful as my parents are aging and I'm usually visiting with some expectation of getting things (paperwork, medical decisions, etc.) "taken care of," and my sisters and brothers are less than easy to deal with much of the time (though my parents are great). Sleeping is difficult becaue the house is small, and mom is up most of the night wander around. Etc.

    DH's family is a mixed bag, as well, but for different reasons. So, overall, it's not usually the vacation we'd prefer. It's typically stressful, our families eat significantly differenly than we do, keep different schedules, etc. We love our families, of course, and staying with them is the only way we can financially make it work at all; but, we both wish doing so was a little less difficult.

    "This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in oncomming traffic." -Terry Pratchett

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  • Tue, Feb 21 2012 4:36 PM In reply to

    • Helene
    • Top 100 Contributor
    • Joined on Mon, Aug 24 2009
    • Posts 721

    Re: Staying with Relatives While on a Vacation

    As a chilld, my extended family used to stay with relatives for one week every summer, and for another week, we used to travel and sleep in a quiet B&B. I always enjoyed the stay with our relatives more: - )! I had all the freedom to do what I liked there, and the people were so hospitable and friendly. On our trips and stays in B&Bs, it was stricter, and I had to think of how I behaved and I couldn't play freely. Our hostess was a good cook, and it was nice to taste homemade food from another part of the country. The B&Bs had nice but regular food, that you could find anywhere, but at our relatives, we would get real, local delikatessen...



  • Tue, Feb 21 2012 4:53 PM In reply to

    Re: Staying with Relatives While on a Vacation

    My grandparents lived near Denver CO and we stayed with them quite a bit when we would visit 2x a year. Often my dad would surprise me (and maybe to make my mom happy, too) with a night in a hotel with a pool. When we visited California when I was 10, we stayed with my aunt and uncle at their home which worked out great as they were about 20 minutes from Disney Land!  

    DH and I have stayed with his aunt and uncle and then later in the week, at my best friend's home when we did a trip to Colorado  a few years back.  It really did save quite a bit of money. We did buy groceries and even made dinner one night at my friend's house so she wouldn't have to cook. We took DH aunt and uncle out to dinner our last night there as a thank you.

    I do believe that staying with relatives or friends is very frugal on the traveler's part but can become expensive on the host's part. I think there needs to be an agreement/understanding as to length of stay, contributions to food, chores, living space, etc.

  • Tue, Feb 21 2012 5:29 PM In reply to

    • Helene
    • Top 100 Contributor
    • Joined on Mon, Aug 24 2009
    • Posts 721

    Re: Staying with Relatives While on a Vacation

     I agree with you, indeed! Last year I was hosting two parties of guests, and all the entertaining, cooking, excursions and eating out, really took a toll on the budget... was literally almost broke from July to November. We had bad luck at work too, our salaries not being paid for several months + my freezer and cupboards being empty after the guests leaving...

    They were dear guests, though, so I didn't complain. They did buy some food and invited us out sometimes, but it was far from enough to cover the real needs... 

    I decided to be less self sacrificing next time. Guests will get free lodging, but they will have to bring/pay for their own food, at least most of the time!  I simply can't afford it any other way.

  • Tue, Feb 21 2012 8:38 PM In reply to

    • MarthaMFI
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on Wed, Apr 16 2008
    • New Westminster, BC, Canada
    • Posts 10,850

    Re: Staying with Relatives While on a Vacation

    We have stayed with friends a couple of times only overnight in the past but since all our relatives are close we don't sleepover lol though plan to get the kids there more overnight!

    We have gone to dh aunt a few times just weekends but last summer a week and probably will go a week at a time until she passes away. She had never seen my son 7 and only my dd at 5mths who is 9.   it is a 10hr drive without stops so with kids...stayed at a hotel and did the drive in two days last summer.

    she refuses us to pay for any  meals but we buy some food that only we will eat like juice boxes for the kids. so dh does lots of little fix it chores for her like changing xmas lights, fixing drawers..handyman stuff.  we shop for her.  she is basically housebound but a neat freak so the house clean and we help keep it tidy. 

    Officially recognized Stretchpert in Hobbies and Crafts
  • Wed, Jun 20 2012 2:21 PM In reply to

    • maddov
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on Wed, Jun 20 2012
    • Posts 1

    Re: Staying with Relatives While on a Vacation

    Seeing you talking so much about vacation I realized how much I miss a vacation. I'd go tomorrow in a quite place if I could. In fact I found something interesting on this http://www.gardenshomestay.co.nz/ resource, I now have to think it all through and start making plans for the summer.
  • Wed, Jun 20 2012 2:44 PM In reply to

    Re: Staying with Relatives While on a Vacation

    Thank you for your post.

    The gardens home stay site was lovely. 


  • Wed, Jun 27 2012 10:43 PM In reply to

    Re: Staying with Relatives While on a Vacation

    My family is not emotionally close due to my father's explosive temper. This is how we dealt with it.

    My relatives were 2 hours away when I was growing up. Any visits over 5-6 hours were considered an inconvenience/intrusion and avoided. We visisted monthly. Relatives used our pool during visited or visited 'the city' to shop.

    My sister and I were required to visit grandparents 1 week out of summer and part of spring break until we both finished high school. These were the only long visits my family made.

    As my sister and I reached driving age, we would stay with cousins for a weekend or vise versa.

    Since adulthood, I've crashed with the cousins some when visiting expensive cities or when broke. Most of the time, I would get a hotel room.

  • Wed, Jun 27 2012 11:00 PM In reply to

    Re: Staying with Relatives While on a Vacation

     Me I never stay with my middle sister from last year she had a small place and she has 2 young girls and on top of that we were there for a family emergancy my sister had cancer so I took the girls to my hotel so they can swim and have a little fun while mom was in chemo and radiation cindy was there on several days stressed out and going nuts sister was telling older sister what to do and cindy walked out the door saying no more so cindy and I won't stay with relitives she stays in the 5th wheel while mom is with my older middle sister helping with the kids no more of this ....Tongue Tied

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