4given, I completely agree with you that environment and upbringing play a large part in the way you think and act as an adult. Fortunately, my MIL expected the same in regards to doing things around the house from my DH that she did his sisters. My brothers on the other hand don't do a whole lot inside the house to help their wives because they were never required to so they grew up thinking that's how it is. Both of their wives work full time, one feels the need to due to finances the other works because she's has a master's degree in education and has a passion for teaching. I won't say I have a passion for accounting but I do enjoy my job and with DH's willingness to pitch in and no small kids at home no one is suffering because I'm not at the house from 7:30 - 5:30 because for the most part, neither is anyone else other than the dog.
I wish I had some advice to give you. The truth is even though you don't get up and go to a paying job everyday you are working just as hard as those that do work full time. The problem is how to get your DH to see that. Several years ago our financial planner brought over an example of what it would cost to replace a stay at home parent in the event of their death. Of course he was trying to push life insurance but it was really interesting. If I recall it was like $120,000.00 a year and that was 15 years ago. In your case you could also add the part time salary you bring in. I wonder if that would help your DH get an idea of your worth at home.