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Feeling quite a bit discouraged about our budget

Last post Tue, Aug 23 2011 10:52 AM by MarthaMFI. 45 replies.
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  • Fri, Aug 19 2011 10:25 PM In reply to

    Re: Feeling quite a bit discouraged about our budget

    I got our cell phone bill down by 30.00 a month and called the hospital to let them know we will only be able to pay them 5.00 a month for a while. We will have the other 45.00 to put on the credit cards. So freed up another 75.00. You know I think we should be able to pay dd's tuition if I take on extra sub days.

    Hell hath no fury like a woman who has lost her coupons
  • Fri, Aug 19 2011 10:26 PM In reply to

    Re: Feeling quite a bit discouraged about our budget

    MamaJ:

    4givennotperfect:
    I don't know Brandy, my heart is broken at the thought of my daughter having to leave her current school. It is an amazing place. Yes the other 650 feels great though!
     

    If you're able to recoup the other $650 elsewhere, your daughter could still attend her private school, couldn't she? If it's really important, you can give up the other things instead? 

    I think what you're doing is very brave. I can't imagine opening up my books for all the world to see! Hang in there!

    Thanks MamaJ, but they are only numbers.

    Hell hath no fury like a woman who has lost her coupons
  • Fri, Aug 19 2011 11:41 PM In reply to

    Re: Feeling quite a bit discouraged about our budget

    One thing we haven't mentioned ... 

    Do you have anything you could sell that might bring in a good chunk of $$ to thow at those credit-card debts.  Does your DH have tools he doesn't need?  Any scrap metal? Any old jewerly?  Furniture?  Dishes, etc?.   Knocking out at least one of those credit cards could give you some breathing room.

    www.dodgeandweave.blogspot.com
  • Sat, Aug 20 2011 8:34 AM In reply to

    Re: Feeling quite a bit discouraged about our budget

    LWolfT:

    One thing we haven't mentioned ... 

    Do you have anything you could sell that might bring in a good chunk of $$ to thow at those credit-card debts.  Does your DH have tools he doesn't need?  Any scrap metal? Any old jewerly?  Furniture?  Dishes, etc?.   Knocking out at least one of those credit cards could give you some breathing room.

    Yes I am sure we have a few things. We have a great quality ping pong table and I have a very small amount of Gold I can sell. It's worth about 250.00. When we get back from mn/mi I will have more time to concentrate on that. Because I am an eBayer I have sold most stuff worth selling that we don't want anymore. Except for dh's stuff that is and I will try to get him to go through some of his stuff when we get back.

    This IS going to happen and we will get rid of our debt. When I think about the kids and how they need our help with college it's keeps me motivated.

    Hell hath no fury like a woman who has lost her coupons
  • Sat, Aug 20 2011 4:06 PM In reply to

    • Brandy
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on Wed, Mar 28 2007
    • Saving in South Mississippi
    • Posts 25,145

    Re: Feeling quite a bit discouraged about our budget

    4givennotperfect:
    This IS going to happen and we will get rid of our debt

    I agree with the other poster; a chunk of cash from somewhere would help with lowering what you owe quickly.

     

    The Dollar Stretcher Community Manager



  • Sat, Aug 20 2011 11:20 PM In reply to

    Re: Feeling quite a bit discouraged about our budget

    4givennotperfect:
    MamaJ:

    4givennotperfect:
    I don't know Brandy, my heart is broken at the thought of my daughter having to leave her current school. It is an amazing place. Yes the other 650 feels great though!
     

    If you're able to recoup the other $650 elsewhere, your daughter could still attend her private school, couldn't she? If it's really important, you can give up the other things instead? 

    I think what you're doing is very brave. I can't imagine opening up my books for all the world to see! Hang in there!

    Thanks MamaJ, but they are only numbers.

    Maybe numbers to you but when it comes to money like this it can drive people nuts I know my sister, and I told you if there is a will there is a way ,and yes your pretty smart the way it is do one thing at a time .

    chrissanne
  • Mon, Aug 22 2011 2:07 PM In reply to

    Re: Feeling quite a bit discouraged about our budget

    Well we made the official decision to let dd go to public school this year. It is what she wants and we feel she will do just fine there. If not we will put her back at Grace. It was pretty easy for me to decided because I suspect she won't like it and want to go back to private, and also because she is a good kid, with good morals.

    Dh and I had a very large argument last night about money. Once again it came out that he thinks I don't do much when I am home. I was floored and beyond angry. It honestly came down to an issue of respect or lack of it. He then back tracked and said he only said that out of anger and that he knows how hard I work. During the argument he also said I should just deal with it that he manages to get everything done that he "needs" to get done while working full time. When I said that most days I worked from the moment I get up to the moment I go to bed he laughed out loud and said "yeah right". I don't think he will ever recognize what I contribute to our household and that working full time is not going to get us ahead because I will have that much less time to do the things I do now that save us money and keep our family running smoothly. I think he honestly looks around at all the families we know that have two full time working parents and thinks that things run smoothly in their households and that they manage to get it all done. He later apologized over and over and said he knows how hard I work but I just couldn't believe him. Today I am still trying to sort this out.

    Hell hath no fury like a woman who has lost her coupons
  • Mon, Aug 22 2011 3:10 PM In reply to

    Re: Feeling quite a bit discouraged about our budget

    I'm sorry you and your DH had this argument. My guess is that your contributions are "out of sight, out of mind" as he does not have to do them?? Go to work full time and ask him to split the household tasks evenly in the evening and I'm sure he will realize what you do...when he has to do them, too. Maybe he is asking for some recognition as well? Did he "pick" the argument so you would say "I realize all you do and realize our income is almost all dependent on your efforts." ? Is he feeling discouraged as well?

    I work outside the home full time (well 32 hours a week). DH is very good about splitting household duties as he works full time, too and cannot expect me to take care of the house on top of it all. Of course, since I am home two afternoons a week, I do get a few more household things accomplished but that just makes our evenings less stressful and complicated. Because no one is home during the day, no one is home to clean, do laundry, mow the lawn, cull through mail, wash dishes, make dinner, pay bills, run errands, grocery shop, declutter closets, ...you name it. It all is done after 6 p.m. or on the weekends. Or sometimes between 5:30 and 7:00 a.m., LOL.  I know that stay at home or work from home moms somehow get all this accomplished and it often is overlooked by the DH because they don't know what the opposite result would be if they had a spouse thatwas away from the home 7-9 hours a day.

    A friend of mine who stays at home with 3 kiddos had jury duty for a whole week and her DH was in charge at home (and I think may have had to report to work some). She posted a facebook picture of her house at the end of the week...it was so horrible it was funny. She posted the caption: See what happens when mama isn't home? I'm sure her DH appreciated her efforts after that! The fridge was empty, laundry was piled everywhere and the house was a disaster of toys and dishes.

    But when both work outside the home, a balance has to be achieved. When one spouse makes the income while the other spouse stays home and saves the money, there has to be an understanding about each person's contributions as well.

    good luck! So many of us are rooting for you!

    Erika
  • Mon, Aug 22 2011 4:57 PM In reply to

    Re: Feeling quite a bit discouraged about our budget

    mamasjob:

    I'm sorry you and your DH had this argument. My guess is that your contributions are "out of sight, out of mind" as he does not have to do them?? Go to work full time and ask him to split the household tasks evenly in the evening and I'm sure he will realize what you do...when he has to do them, too. Maybe he is asking for some recognition as well? Did he "pick" the argument so you would say "I realize all you do and realize our income is almost all dependent on your efforts." ? Is he feeling discouraged as well?

    I work outside the home full time (well 32 hours a week). DH is very good about splitting household duties as he works full time, too and cannot expect me to take care of the house on top of it all. Of course, since I am home two afternoons a week, I do get a few more household things accomplished but that just makes our evenings less stressful and complicated. Because no one is home during the day, no one is home to clean, do laundry, mow the lawn, cull through mail, wash dishes, make dinner, pay bills, run errands, grocery shop, declutter closets, ...you name it. It all is done after 6 p.m. or on the weekends. Or sometimes between 5:30 and 7:00 a.m., LOL.  I know that stay at home or work from home moms somehow get all this accomplished and it often is overlooked by the DH because they don't know what the opposite result would be if they had a spouse thatwas away from the home 7-9 hours a day.

    A friend of mine who stays at home with 3 kiddos had jury duty for a whole week and her DH was in charge at home (and I think may have had to report to work some). She posted a facebook picture of her house at the end of the week...it was so horrible it was funny. She posted the caption: See what happens when mama isn't home? I'm sure her DH appreciated her efforts after that! The fridge was empty, laundry was piled everywhere and the house was a disaster of toys and dishes.

    But when both work outside the home, a balance has to be achieved. When one spouse makes the income while the other spouse stays home and saves the money, there has to be an understanding about each person's contributions as well.

    good luck! So many of us are rooting for you!

    mama, the fight started when dh said our dd could keep going to private school if I took on extra work and he would too. I said no I shouldn't have to and that it wouldn't save us any more money. He said fine then she can go to public school if you're not willing to work extra for it. I replied that with his income and my part time income we should have no problem paying our bills but then I got nasty and said I guess your brand new truck that you said I wouldn't have to work more for is more important than our daughters education. Then we were off and running.

    At one point I said, I don't ever think we will agree because you think the answer is to work more so you can have the best of everything and for me it's about spending less and keeping more.

    You know a good friend of mine is a pastor. I asked him once if it bothered him that his wife has always been a stay at home mom even now that the kids are gone. He said something that struck me. He said, no it doesn't bother me because I love my wife and because I love her I wanted her to be able to have this because I knew it meant so much to her.  

    Hell hath no fury like a woman who has lost her coupons
  • Mon, Aug 22 2011 5:02 PM In reply to

    • Lee
    • Top 75 Contributor
      Female
    • Joined on Thu, Jul 23 2009
    • Texas
    • Posts 1,356

    Re: Feeling quite a bit discouraged about our budget

    4Given, hang in there. You are in such a tough spot. In order for those 2 income families your DH sees running so smoothly to operate that way,  it has be to a family effort with everyone in the family willing to go the extra mile on a daily basis.

    Amen Erika, I too work a fulltime, 40 hour a week, job outside the home and my home runs smoothly for the most part but that's only because DH does his fair share and then some. I do 2 - 3 loads of laundry on the weekend but it would be twice that if he weren't doing 2 - 3 loads during the week. He's not much of a cook other than grilling out, but he cleans the kitchen every evening after supper. I do the deep house cleaning because I prefer to but he vaccuums and makes our bed everyday. We usually grocery shop together on Saturday afternoons and it helps for him to see the costs of things. DS is 17 and is responsible for his bedroom, bathroom and taking out the trash. DH and DS do the yardwork together and I tend to my flower garden. The one thing I do with little input is balance the checkbook and all the banking. As an accountant, we feel that's my area. He and I do discuss the budget every payday however.

     

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