rvijay07:

I feel I have lost appreciating and enjoying things that I have positive in my life. I notice things after they are gone and miss them. But when they are there, I don't appreciate them as much. Part of consumerism I guess.

I think this a common malady.  My brother was living in a small town in Louisiana and complained about the "smallness" as he stated that he ran into everyone at the Walmart and everyone knew everyone elses business.  Now he has moved to Colorado and lives in a city.  He complains about the cost of living.  He did not consider that Louisiana was cheap and the weather was so warm....so now although he has makes the same amount of money it does not go as far in Colorado also he did not consider the snow/ice which he is not experiencing.

That is why now when I start to complain I remind myself of all of my blessings.

Hi sue ellen my sister thought the same thing its the middle sister she now resides in sadona she wanted to live in colorrado then she did find out the cost of living there she high tail it to az. from was. she thought it be the same as az. heck no its cold,wet,damp,hardly no sun so she thought everything is cheaper in other areas and she can have friends everywhere she found out wron I actually feel sorry for her she was supposed to have been married this year well it was not ment to be so she movied down back to az. she is happier but she would rather have a man in it well sister dear being over fourty is not like in your 20's  they are not around the corner like theyuse to be first you have to worry about yourself and how to make ends mee take care of the nieces and make sure they are fed and inside at night that thier butts are not in jail, and then maybe then have a guy but first you and the girls worry about them right now forget the guy and heal from your wounds first and greive the loss of your boy friend then after the healing maybe its ok but first your self then wait and see what the future holds.

Thats what I keep saying to the middle sister but who know if once in her life if she took the advice I will finally eat my hat and no more letures to her.

Loneliness it what you make of it... loneliness is different for every person...I just get what my dd fave expressions (I am bored...I don't want to do anything)

I found over the years that friendships cause to much drama for me ie to much work for me DRAMA 24/7 I have issue but I tend to pick people who cause drama... I have very few friends in the last 6 years.. I have my fiance (who is out of town long story) and one other person is my friend and I see that person maybe 2 times a year text them every few months just to say hi and that is about all most of the time it's just me and my dd who is also currently not living with me right now as she had surgery and is using a wheelchair ( so she is at grandma's house) since my mobile doesn't fit wheelchairs... she is full time in college...

I work and play taxi most of the time...

jayashiangel:

Loneliness it what you make of it... loneliness is different for every person...I just get what my dd fave expressions (I am bored...I don't want to do anything)

I so agree!  What may be a lonely life to one one person may be a blissful life to another. 

My sister is very outgoing and has lots of friends she is very happy this way...however it would drive me crazy.

I am introverted and have very few friends and enjoy it that way.

 I had a marriage that didn't work. Since then, several relationships, but I wanted no marriage again, and they did.

The last relationship I had was not good. In the end, when I tried to end it, my friend literally kicked in my door and stalked me, tried to trap me in his apartment, all so I wouldn't leave him.

Since then, I want good friends more than one person, though I'd like that if the right one came along. I am not sure I am up for going through all the work having a marriage or close relationship takes, though. I am usually pretty happy by myself. I do go out with friends and participate in the community.

The only thing I worry about, with no family at all, is getting older without someone to care.

Hello seaturtle very good,I stand up and aplause oavation for you.   Me no more marriage Im working and rather have people around from allday working I want quiet meaning I don't want anyone around.   Me married no I think once is enough since dh died I think maybe a year or so then ok Im still young enough just for friends only keep the other stuff for the young who want marriage.

 This is going to sound like a made up story but I assure you it is not: a pal of  mine lost his business, went bankrupt, lost his house, his wife walked out on him, was very depressed and was threatening suicide.  He started to give things away which is a very bad sign of impending doom.

 Then, a miracle happened: to make a long story short, a wealthy lady walked into his life and spent her money on him.  Thereafter, he was the happiest guy I know!

 Wish some wealthy heiress would walk into my life!

the best thing i learned post divorce was that "lonely" and "alone" were different things. i have an appreciation for being alone at times, but, working at home, it can turn to lonely very quickly. it also can become lonely when i am not "alone"..... there are of course the positive things a solo existence brings and we can choose to shine on those in an effort to survive and thrive - but there is a void - an imbalance within me......it will be there endlessly and i will compensate for it, or there will be balance within a relationship more intimate than family or friendship. but for now i light candles, eat what my baby girl bakes (this night its cheesecake) and sit in a big comfy chair and watch a movie...... and i must add - for those who have always said "but you have your children" - for what i desire from life, the companionship, the spiritual and personal growth, the goals that are achieved as a unified team, it isnt the purpose of my children to provide that balance.....

 Ocd hi there join the fun with the rest of us I been seperated 10 years before I found my ex again and devorced since 09 I think .  And yes its lonely doing this day in and day out its like we exsist from the life of everyday and you do have one thing to look forward to you got the children me no so your luck there but I got both dacushunds they both keep me in line for awhile and I don't know of any guy who would oput up with me burt I live you learn to adjust some how.

I am much happier not married anymore, but I will say that when these three older kids who are so busy move out, and it is me and the younger four, it will be easier. I think that they are all at the stage when they are rebelling and wanting their say, when I am enforcing boundaries and they are crabby with me, that is when I feel lonely. I have coffee with friends, and go out, so that is good. Besides work, parenting, and driving everyone everywhere, it is good to have friends, including some who are interested in some long term planning for a future. I like having some plans with friends for several years ahead.