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Letter to my not so frugal house guest

Last post Thu, Feb 24 2011 11:53 PM by sissy. 138 replies.
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  • Tue, Jan 25 2011 8:45 AM

    Letter to my not so frugal house guest

    For those of you who have read about our dilema with our house guest. My oldest son gave me the idea to write him a letter and give it to him when he gets back tonight. In the letter I plan to tell him that he needs to pay us 100.00 every week, that we are paid first before all bills and expenses. I want to mention that  we dont appreciate that he buys his dog beef stew meat and super expensive food, gets his hair cut etc... and then tells us he has no money to give us. So I could use some quick suggestions on wording and things to say. Thanks!

    Hell hath no fury like a woman who has lost her coupons
  • Tue, Jan 25 2011 10:09 AM In reply to

    Re: Letter to my not so frugal house guest

    IMHO,this person is no longer a "house guest." House guests stay for a short period of time and then move on. He is a tenant or a boarder and it appears it has gotten to a point where you may need to start thinking of it like that. You are still being a good Christian to provide assistance to this man, any charity would have done no less but not for the amount of time you have done this. You are providing reduced rent and subsidized meals that he doesn't even prepare.

    Putting things down in a letter makes sense but he could possibly use that as some sort of "lease" so you may have to be careful. Do put in the amount of money he needs to pay and a time by which he must pay it (Monday night at 6:00 or the 15th of the month, etc) but also put that you can ask him to leave at any time, whether or not he has paid the required funds if the arrangement is not working out for either one of you.

    Good luck!

    Erika
  • Tue, Jan 25 2011 10:11 AM In reply to

    • Karen K
    • Top 75 Contributor
      Female
    • Joined on Tue, Feb 24 2009
    • New York Mills, MN
    • Posts 1,327

    Re: Letter to my not so frugal house guest

    I would be very clean and curt, get to the point.  He owes you what he owes you for room and board on the day that the money is due.  How he chooses to spend his "extra" money is his choice.

    Karen K

    http://www.sugarcreekwoodworking.com
    http://www.asimplepinebox.com
  • Tue, Jan 25 2011 10:47 AM In reply to

    Re: Letter to my not so frugal house guest

    In some states he could already be considered a tenant, so you would have to follow the states law on that and possibly follow a formal eviction. Research your state, county/city and know exactly where you stand. He may know more than you and cause issues by not leaving/not leaving nicely. Sadly, at this point you may even have to consult an attorney. ______________________While I believe anything in writing is better than nothing in writing, it could also make your more of a landlord/tenant than someone helping a friend out.
    You teach people how to treat you -- Dr Phil
  • Tue, Jan 25 2011 10:57 AM In reply to

    Re: Letter to my not so frugal house guest

    4givennotperfect:
    My oldest son gave me the idea to write him a letter and give it to him when he gets back tonight.
     

    If he left, even for a vacation, I would hand him the money for one night in a motel.  Have his things packed.  If necessary, add one night in a dog motel for the pet. Be prepared to change the locks, & hand him the letter:

    Dear Friend,

    Our finances no longer allow us to share our home with you.  Here is enough money for a motel tonight & for a pet motel for "pet".  

    Ask for the key back.  If he won't give it, change the locks - right then. If you include the part about feeding the dog vs paying you, you give room for negotiation. Hehas been gone for a littlewhile - just make it permanent.

  • Tue, Jan 25 2011 11:35 AM In reply to

    Re: Letter to my not so frugal house guest

    Thanks everyone, here is the letter I wrote him. I put it on his computer downstairs so he will see it when he gets home later today. Suggestions on the letter? Please know that we love him, he has been a very close friend for over 20 years and that makes this harder.

    Now that you are back(yeah!) we need to let you know how we are feeling about your staying here, how it is working and what’s not working. We absolutely love having you here! But there needs to be some changes or this is not going to work much longer.

    First thing is that we need to have payment of 100.00 every Friday. If you want to buy all your own food for dinners and only pay us 50.00 that is fine however it needs to be consistent every week. So unless you tell us otherwise I am going to expect you to indulge in my fine gourmet cooking. It is too difficult and a pain in the rear end to try and remember when you ate here and when you didn’t.

    We need to get paid before absolutely anything else of yours gets paid, anything. If your dog can’t have beef stew for supper or expensive dog food then you can tell her it’s my fault and let her loose on me. If you need a hair cut it waits or you trust me with hair clippers. If you don’t have gas to get to work you can borrow it from someone else or sell your body.

    If come Friday you do not have a dime to your name and will not consider robbing a bank we will allow you to use your credit card to buy 100.00 worth of groceries that Friday no later.

    If you need to sell a kidney I got people.

    We really appreciate you helping out around the house. Having you do laundry, dishes and other things has been great! I didn’t know I owned so many pairs of underwear. I’d like to see more of your skill in the kitchen so let’s pick one night a week, oh let’s say Thursday, for you to cook something out of our stock.  Another day would be fine if Thursdays won’t work but please give me 24 hour notice. I hereby deem you King of bringing the garbage and recyclable cans back to their homes after the garbage guy has come on Wednesdays in addition to bringing in a couple armloads of wood a day(thanks for all the times you have done that already). That will be a help to Scott. Don’t you feel imPOtant?

    Scott and I and the kids value your friendship so much (and always have)! Neither Scott nor I want to feel taken advantage of or carry any resentment and because we both know people first hand who have been in this type of situation and not had it turn out well we feel this is the best way to handle your living here. You are welcome to stay as long as you need to and we hope you feel a part of our family, as we see you that way.

    Love

    Scott and Lisa

     

    Hell hath no fury like a woman who has lost her coupons
  • Tue, Jan 25 2011 2:39 PM In reply to

    Re: Letter to my not so frugal house guest

    4givennotperfect:
    Don’t you feel imPOtant?
     

    I think you meant "important" - not "impotant" - that might be misunderstood.

  • Tue, Jan 25 2011 3:09 PM In reply to

    Re: Letter to my not so frugal house guest

    I realize this is a difficult letter to write, but I'm not sure the "funnies" have a place here.   I'm very sensitive to "only joking" comments so I might be overreacting, but I would try to craft it a bit more seriously. 

    Then again, I don't know this person personally so I could be way off base.  Just my 2 cents worth.

    Susan in MI

    Susan
    It's all about Love!
  • Tue, Jan 25 2011 3:30 PM In reply to

    Re: Letter to my not so frugal house guest

    zohnerfarms:

    4givennotperfect:
    Don’t you feel imPOtant?
     

    I think you meant "important" - not "impotant" - that might be misunderstood.

    zohn-it's a joke he always sais that instead of important-not in the way it sounds but like a slang word. Wow I didn't realize it sounded so well...you know.Embarrassed

    Hell hath no fury like a woman who has lost her coupons
  • Tue, Jan 25 2011 3:31 PM In reply to

    Re: Letter to my not so frugal house guest

    Grannie_Sue:

    I realize this is a difficult letter to write, but I'm not sure the "funnies" have a place here.   I'm very sensitive to "only joking" comments so I might be overreacting, but I would try to craft it a bit more seriously. 

    Then again, I don't know this person personally so I could be way off base.  Just my 2 cents worth.

    Susan in MI

     Grannie-he is one of the funniest people you could ever meet and we are constantly joking back and forth. It's how we have gotten through most of the awkward moments. I think he will sense the seriousness of it...I hope. Thanks for the input!

    Hell hath no fury like a woman who has lost her coupons
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