I am really disgusted with the ammount of intrest and support parents seem to be showing in their kids school activities. My sons teacher sent home a letter two weeks ago stating they were going to have a Healthy Harvest Party on the 31st and to keep eye open for more info to come. Last week the teacher again sent info asking for stuff like apple slices, carrot sticks, cheese, crackers and any other healthy snack. I sent my son in with a bag of animal crackers ( not totally healthy I know, shot me). I asked my son what eles the other kids brought in and he said only 5 other kids out of 28 brought anything in.

This is'nt the only time stuff like this happens. It seems like anytime the class has any activitie asking for parent participation only a fraction of the parents show up. Durring DS Kindergarten Graduation only 1/2 the parents showed up. Don't these parents care or think their kids have feelings? I saw a couple little kids crying in class because their parent did'nt show up for a reading they did to show how good their writing skills had become at the end of the year. My heart broke for them. Anyhow I ran to the store to pick up a large bag of baby carrots to bring to the party so it would'nt be totally lame.

 How sad for the children. It must make them feel as if the things they do aren't important. Quite a slap to the "self-esteem" always being preached.

 I grew up as only child, but shortly after I marries my mother decided to have more kids ( I married young).  So now I have two little brothers 5 and 4.  The 5 yo is in kindergarten and my parents won't evn help him with his homework (homework in kindergarten is an entirely different rant)  so he is doing really poorly.  It is especially hard b/c he has homework four nights a week and when I get over to help him it usually takes about forty five minutes because there is so much of it.

That hard when parents don't care enough. Thankfully our school so far seems to be good in that department. For the halloween party I took the easy way out and put myself down for juice boxes!

I am just as happy- maybe I'm one of he bad parents- that neither of the schools celebrate Halloween- I think it is enough to go trick or treating on a school night, without a party at school that day.  One school is Lutheran, the other a core knowledge charter school-

When we lived in Milwaukee 11 years ago, the kids had a huge party with treats and cookies and another mom and I ran games- all the parents brought homemade treats, which were allowed there.  Here in MN it is only store bought treats.  Anyway, I thought as a parent the day seemed kind of too long and special, for it being Halloween- the Lutheran school once did dress as your favorite book character on Halloween- again, another thing to do, maybe I'm just getting too old, but I don't think we need to have a party for little kids on a day they will be out late and dress up and eat lots of candy anyway. Isn't that enough fun? 

Now I feel I'm the Halloween scrooge, maybe I'm too sugared out- we went to a city party, all the kids got 5 or 6 full size candy bars or packs of gum, then trick or treated a little in our neighborhood, then I took the five middle kids to my mom and dad's to show off the costumes, and trick or treated a few of their neighbors.  I tried some of the kid's candy and I'm totally wiped out.  

I'm glad I didn't have to dress everyone and do treats and run games this morning, too.  

Tracy 

NO excuse for not attending a graduation for any age. That said...

In defense of parents everywhere who can't show up at functions or who don't donate "stuff":  Sometimes it isn't about a lack of caring.

I can go to a long drawn out Meet the Teacher Night or I can work my shift.  Meet the teacher night: teacher meets 100 parents or more.  How many will the teacher remember?  If I don't work, I don't get paid.  What is more responsible?  Meeting multiple administrators and teachers for a brief few minutes OR earning $ to pay rent, groceries, etc?  We have ample opportunity to stay in touch with our administrators and teachers through school stops, phone calls and emails outside of a formal Meet the Teacher night.  Ditto for many functions that conflict with work schedules.

Ditto for daytime school parties.  How many parents who have to be at work have the flexibility to go to the function?  Not providing goodies and treats?  We didn't/don't.  We already pay taxes to support the school system, AND in the past, participated in all the stupid fund raisers.  I went to quite a few parent action meetings and ALWAYS suggested that each kid bring their own snack/treat for party day.  When I was called I said I could drop off some Oreos or Little Debbies or maybe some snack size bags of chips.  I was told they (the moms organizing the treats) would rather have homemade goodies and treats.  Never happened.  I THINK perhaps the big fuss of snacks and treats for the kids was more important to the parents involved, not that the kids didn't appreciate it.   

It isn't always due to lack of parental concern.  It could be lack of flexibility or willingness to do something differently by the organizing group.  

And yes, there are parents who are not involved or connected because they choose that.  That is an entirely different and sad subject.  

I agree with rolo.  It might be different if there wasn't some kind of snack day/party/activity planned every week, sometimes 2 or 3 days of EVERY week.  When the kids aren't having some kind of party/snack activity, they are doing fund raisers.  Every week I get a request for snacks or a donation to help defray the cost of something. 

 Then I get notes from the teacher saying my son is not doing as well as he could in math or reading comprehension or whatever.  How about spending that party time doing, oh, I don't know . . . schoolwork???

 I constantly hear complaints from teachers about how little classroom time they have and blah blah blah.  Don't get me wrong, I respect the job the teachers are doing, but you can't have it both ways. 

 Every year, I go out and buy 3 sets of everything (at the request of the school) so that all the kids in the class will have school supplies.  The school supplies become "community property", then on the way out the door on the first day of school, I'm solicited for a 20 dollar donation to the school for . . . you guessed it, school supplies.

Then the first week of school they start a fund raiser of selling cookies, sausage, popcorn, or whatever to raise money for . . . yep, school supplies.  Then they start in with the parties and activities.  A dollar here, 5 dollars there, 10 dollars here.  I am worn out from trying to keep up with all the requests for money, food and supplies.

I agree with Rolo. My son (and his two sisters before him) goes to an alternative public school. This means there is "manditory" parent participation, which translates to $$ and lots of time. Every event, and there are many, is essentially a fund raiser. We are expected to contribute time and cash to any committees as well as, get this, donate $250 each for classroom supplies (if everyone can do it for a class of 28- $7,000!). For a few years I was chair of the quilt committee. I paid for all the supplies and did a great deal of the work to make quilts that made up to $5,000 for the school. I don't feel guilty for not baking cupcakes or doing time in the classroom.

just my thoughts on this matter, its kinda touchy becuase im made to feel like im a bad mom by the ladies at the pto an whatnot here at my childrens school because i have tattoos, these ladies wont talk to me at all  (this is a really hard town to describe with out um sounding hateful, spiteful, mean, and vindictive---but its personal opinion based upon all the crud we have put up with since moving here in feb of 2005)

1) i dont drive, so with the school being too far away to walk, safely, and being all uphill (the kids ride the school bus to school, and they are taken to therapy afterschool by a community service--our medical pays for thier transportation there and home) its not feasable most times to be able to get up to the school without a ride ( a cab would be 10.00 each way)

2) there have been times when i wanted to send something for whatever at school, and way too often i have not had the money

3)when something is needed (ie treats) the teachers try to send out notices about a week before hand BUT last year when andrew was in 1st grade--it was HIS bday, valentines, halloween, and an end year party--thats all the treats i will supply for either child on thier birthday

4) when the school supply lists are sent out i buy whats on it, plus extras for home--i only send the children with 1 set of whatever (not the 4 boxes of crayons i was asked for) BUT i make sure that the teacher knows that if they need any replacements to let me know---so far ive only had to replace 6 pencils, and 2 glue sticks

5) the kids got a fundrasier of sorts at the beginning of the year, wrapping paper and magazines and useless stuff--i didnt participate, yeah my children lacked on the crap toys for participation but they have plenty of toys already

6)those book things come out about every 6 weeks or so--if its close to xmas, or bdays, if the kids see something they want, they understand that it comes from either thier bday $ fund or thier xmas $fund.....and yes both of my children like books, they dont choose them very often (i got a $12 limit for ordering--2 chilren x$6) because we can get books elsehere for free or close to free (andrew qouted me the other day an said "mom likes coupons, they save us money so we can do other stuff)

7) i will pay a cab for parent teacher confrences and or graduations---but for the school parties? and plays? its just not feasable for me to get up to the school once a week, both childrens teachers have my phone #, an so does the office, and for some reason or another, i do talk to the school at least once a week--sometimes its a note pinned to the kids bags, or a phone call to the office but we do have contact

just a few thoughts from someone who wants to be able to SPEND THE TIME UP AT SCHOOL but isnt able too

latte

I am glad our school isn't that bad! We have fundraisers like guess the jelly bean count for .50 at the moment  but I ignore them. I didn't do meet the teacher night because I already met her a few times and I have to bring my dd to school anyways. Scholastic books is every mth so I ordered halloween book set w/stamps in sept which was delayed so maybe I will get it for xmas? pointless since I wanted it for halloween. They did give my dd a free scooby doo book which is for a 8 yr old not 5. We did the halloween carnival and I donated cakes and candy jars for that because it was fun. It was nuts at the beginning of school for money but it has died off.  The school supply fee does cover your own kids supplies in their own box which comes home with them at the end of the year.

 I went with a preschool in Burnaby instead of New West because besides private preschool ...montessari, daycare in disguise etc, there is the community center preschool that you sign up for next 3 mths or Queen's park preschool which a lot of people I know go too. It is parent participation...you have to work in the center every couple of weeks, (and what do you do with your other kids?)  have a job like laundry or fundraising etc, go to a mandorary mthly meeting at night and you are allowed to miss 2 mths a year but have to do make up work. If I dont' get out for me why would I do that!  for the grand sum of one dollar difference in fees. $79 there and $80 at beehive, a wonderful preschool with a playground, same teachers/kids all year. crafts, abcs, themes, concerts (xmas and end of year they put on for parents), parties, field trips. They have a $30 spec event fee that covers  the 3 field trips a year. You are asked to bring something to the parties like halloween/xmas/end of year.  They ask for donations for world vision at xmas and that is it. The only jobs are recycle/library (getting books for that mths theme from the library)  person plus some people to help cut out paper things for crafts (like leaves). easy decision!