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PLEASE HELP ME...BITE MY TONGUE!!!

Last post 01-08-2011 12:54 AM by sissy. 59 replies.
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  • 12-08-2010 5:44 PM

    PLEASE HELP ME...BITE MY TONGUE!!!

    Please help me bite my tongue!!  I am single without children and I am informed by my family that is the reason why I can responsibly manage my money as they constantly complain to me about their financial situations.

    1.) My sister constantly complains that she is and I quote "barely making it" financially however she drives a new car, is constantly buying new clothes, goes on yearly shopping trips to Chicago, is planning on buying a new home in a really nice area of the city.  But she constantly borrows money from my Dad who is on social security and she asked me to pay her student loans (which I refused).

    2.) My sister in law constantly complains that she would like to go to dental school but they can not afford it.  They live rent/utilites free, however they have two really nice new cars and a truck.  They love to eat out and go all out for Christmas. They have four children who get the best of everything.

    3.) My other sister in law is constantly complaining that her corporate job is so stressful and she would love to find something else less stressful however that would mean less money.  She has to work horribly long hours and the stress of the job is contributing to her high blood pressure.  However they live in a relatively new home (large mortgage), drive nice cars (with car payments), constantly are shopping at the mall, going out to eat, going on vacations.

    I just want to should to all of them to quit complaining as they are bringing their misery on themselves however instead I just bite my tongue as when I have mentioned to them in the past how the frugal lifestyle would help them attain these things they get upset with me.

    I'm debt freeeee............ Beginnning debt balance 01/01/08 $78K /Paid in full on 08/06/10 GOD IS SO GOOD!!!
    Goal #2 : One year emergency fund. Goal Met Aug 2011.
    Goal #3: Paid 100% CASH for a house!!! GOD IS SOOO GOOD TO ME!!!
  • 12-08-2010 5:49 PM In reply to

    Re: PLEASE HELP ME...BITE MY TONGUE!!!

    Please send me all your suggestions

    I'm debt freeeee............ Beginnning debt balance 01/01/08 $78K /Paid in full on 08/06/10 GOD IS SO GOOD!!!
    Goal #2 : One year emergency fund. Goal Met Aug 2011.
    Goal #3: Paid 100% CASH for a house!!! GOD IS SOOO GOOD TO ME!!!
  • 12-08-2010 6:35 PM In reply to

    Re: PLEASE HELP ME...BITE MY TONGUE!!!

    When they start complaining ... say "sorry to hear that" and change the subject.  And do it every time they bring it up.

      Don't mean to sound harsh, but it sounds like they just want to complain, or guilt you into giving them $$, so best not to get drawn into the conversation.   Some things you just can't fix .... 

  • 12-08-2010 6:46 PM In reply to

    Re: PLEASE HELP ME...BITE MY TONGUE!!!

    LWolfT:
    Some things you just can't fix .... 

    I agree. And since you can't fix it, don't bother to try. Perhaps if you are going to be spending time with them over the holidays, you can have a mental "list" of subjects OTHER than money you can change the subject to whenever they start complaining about their financial situation.

    The weather, sports teams you might be interested in, how nicely the nieces and nephews are growing, how great the food you're eating tastes, etc. Those might be more neutral topics you can steer towards instead of financial discussions.

    Best of luck to you!

    Stacie

    http://holdinghandswithmyhoney.blogspot.com/
  • 12-08-2010 7:55 PM In reply to

    Re: PLEASE HELP ME...BITE MY TONGUE!!!

    LWolfT:

    When they start complaining ... say "sorry to hear that" and change the subject.  And do it every time they bring it up.

      Don't mean to sound harsh, but it sounds like they just want to complain, or guilt you into giving them $$, so best not to get drawn into the conversation.   Some things you just can't fix .... 

    Thank-you for the feedback!

    I'm debt freeeee............ Beginnning debt balance 01/01/08 $78K /Paid in full on 08/06/10 GOD IS SO GOOD!!!
    Goal #2 : One year emergency fund. Goal Met Aug 2011.
    Goal #3: Paid 100% CASH for a house!!! GOD IS SOOO GOOD TO ME!!!
  • 12-08-2010 7:57 PM In reply to

    Re: PLEASE HELP ME...BITE MY TONGUE!!!

    Perhaps if you are going to be spending time with them over the holidays, you can have a mental "list" of subjects OTHER than money you can change the subject to whenever they start complaining about their financial situation.

    Very good idea....

    I'm debt freeeee............ Beginnning debt balance 01/01/08 $78K /Paid in full on 08/06/10 GOD IS SO GOOD!!!
    Goal #2 : One year emergency fund. Goal Met Aug 2011.
    Goal #3: Paid 100% CASH for a house!!! GOD IS SOOO GOOD TO ME!!!
  • 12-08-2010 7:58 PM In reply to

    Re: PLEASE HELP ME...BITE MY TONGUE!!!

    Thanks slk2042 I think I will begin thinking of alternate topics.

    I'm debt freeeee............ Beginnning debt balance 01/01/08 $78K /Paid in full on 08/06/10 GOD IS SO GOOD!!!
    Goal #2 : One year emergency fund. Goal Met Aug 2011.
    Goal #3: Paid 100% CASH for a house!!! GOD IS SOOO GOOD TO ME!!!
  • 12-08-2010 8:12 PM In reply to

    Re: PLEASE HELP ME...BITE MY TONGUE!!!

    lol maybe suggest volunteering at a homeless shelter for xmas so they can see people with real problems.

    Officially recognized Stretchpert in Hobbies and Crafts
  • 12-08-2010 8:17 PM In reply to

    Re: PLEASE HELP ME...BITE MY TONGUE!!!

    sueellen:

    Thanks slk2042 I think I will begin thinking of alternate topics.

    Yep ... "How about that last round of Dancing With the Stars?"  LOL ;)

  • 12-08-2010 8:23 PM In reply to

    Re: PLEASE HELP ME...BITE MY TONGUE!!!

    MarthaMFI:

    lol maybe suggest volunteering at a homeless shelter for xmas so they can see people with real problems.

    Oh I sooooooo agree!!! Smile

    I'm debt freeeee............ Beginnning debt balance 01/01/08 $78K /Paid in full on 08/06/10 GOD IS SO GOOD!!!
    Goal #2 : One year emergency fund. Goal Met Aug 2011.
    Goal #3: Paid 100% CASH for a house!!! GOD IS SOOO GOOD TO ME!!!
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