We are slowly redoing the kitchen. My DH is making new cabinet doors and facing. I have put stain finshes on bookshelves and things like that, but have no experience with cabinets, and I know it would require a tougher finish. The wood is red oak, and I don't want to hide it's beauty.

Any advice? 

Well, I've never done cabinets ... but I'd think a coat of polyurethane might show off the wood grain and offer good protection.

 That was my first thought, too.

We have refaced our cabinets. We used clear varnish on ours. A friend cleaned her with murphy's oil and it looked totally different since her cabinets were really old and had never been cleaned like that before. Good luck! We are working on kitchen counters next!

My do what lwoft t said but love of red oak once in awhile but lemon oil on it once in awhile or if not that orange oil to show off the grain part of the oak me I rather show off how naked it can get means no stain on it love to show how the grain goes in different texture it can show that how oak is beuetiful wood like this is Im going to fine a ceder box I keep it oiled up only to show off the grain and the color of it uuuhhh go on e-how.com or ask.com or about.com they tell you what to do,....

I'd say to put on a coat of "natural" (non-tinted) stain to bring out the grain and then give it at least three coats of a water-based, oil-modified polyurethane.  You want the finish to be durable.  I'd avoid working with oil-based polyurethane just because the fumes are so nasty, and at this time of year you don't want to be leaving windows open.  The water-based stuff is a little more expensive, but much less toxic, and it dries a lot faster.  Also, you can clean up with regular soap and water--no mineral spirits or anything.  Make sure to sand lightly between coats.

haverwench offers solid advice.  When sanding between coats of finish, use brown paper wrapping or grocery bag to sand with, not sandpaper, brown paper wrapping is about 1000 grit.

Oh, that I didn't know.  I just used 400 grit for in-between sandings and 600 grit for the finish sanding.

Well I kind of learned something I don't stain my would but brown groc. baqg now thats new one on me cool give it a shot nexttime Im doing a box type thing like oak.

The natural stain or a mix of half red oak and half mineral spirits will work.  Then use a semi-gloss polyurethane, one to two thin coats, wiped on with a sponge carefully, to avoid streaks or bubble marks. Minwax works fine.