Dear All, In response to a post by TizzyLizzy, I am setting up this post.

The price of bipolar disease in money -- I am on Special Needs Medicare Part D (medications coverage) & so far in 2009 my meds (through Aug) have cost $29,892 -- I've paid only about $30 in co-pays total + $8.92/mo premiums.  Obviously, this coverage can't be beat.  I have very severe mental illness -- bipolar disease I (Mania), agorophobia, dissociative disorder, & post-traumatic stress disorder, allll at a level that it takes much much medication to control.  I am so fortunate to have this coverage.  I have it because I am truly completely & totally disAbled from work.

The price of bipolar disorder in emotions -- "who can retell the things that befell us, who caN count them?" (from a Channukah hymn) -- our Psychiatric Service Dog Traienr, Ana, is coming over any minute so I must curtail this post & leave it at that for now.  I prooomise to renew this discussion by Monday.

Yours in Him, Deb

 Dear Deb,

I have everything you do plus a few and am on SSI. I don't have the physical problems you do, though.

What I really posted to say is that "differently abled" is my term for "disabled." For we are all different abled. You may be disabled in terms of working and certain kinds of functioning in the world, but there is nothing disabled about your ability to bring joy and comfort to people here, your steadfast devotion to Hashem and your powerful power of prayer. The experience of illness of any sort, as you know ( I think especially a lifelong, incurable illness, mental or physial) also gives you great compassion and understanding of others' difficulties.

So I think of you as very able indeed.

We are indeed fortunate to live in a society that takes are of those of us who cannot are financially for ourselves. I am grateful for it, too.

Hi there deb I know what you mean from the meds and the price to go with it since I tske 4 types one to balance the chemicial embalance and the chronic depression and 2 different types of high blood pressure meds mine comes close to 400.oo maybe 450.00 permonth yup ssi 100% disabled due to the car accident so if there was no insurance we be up the creek without the paddle or boat this is a figure of speech so yes Im glad in alot of was we are fortinate to  have this every much Im just lucky to get up every morning not surrering from mania or  the depression part I can walk around and dress my self but I be lucky if I can take my medication every morning thats the part I forget is that short term memorry thing I have no Ideal like I said Im just lucky enough to remeber somethings...

Seaturtle, I love that! I am going to pass that on to the mother of the young man I do pca work for. Although my dealings with mental illness are mild compared to you Deb, Seaturtle and Cheapchic I know that they have made me a much more compassionate person. So many people just don't understand that for some complete healing will probably not come in their lifetime. Of course there is always hope as I know that God plans my steps and knows the end from the beginning. I would rather hang around a bunch of "loonies" like me any day of the week than some of the "normal" that is out there. I think that is why I have always kept to myself. I just dont feel comfortable in the main stream. It just doesnt feel real to me. I am seeing this pattern develop in my daughter and I truly think it may be a very good thing.

 cheapchick,

I have some short-term memory loss from meds, too. I sometimes want to go off my meds just because of it, but when I ask myself if I want to go back to how I was without meds, the answer it NO. The mood stabilizer has also stopped entirely horrible, almost constant migraines. I have to write everything down in two or three places and be sure to look at my date book every day. But I don't wake up manic or in a terrible depression any more. And I can go outside, walk around, go into stores, which I couldn't do most of my life because of agoraphobia.

So I ay bless the meds and take them!

Hi seaturtle and forgiving- cool glad to hear it from we all are not the only ones and debra came along way from what I have heard from her so have you too 4givin and seaturtle the prescriptions help the most just wish ok did I for get then mom reminds me Yo cindy take the meds beefore I get side tracked on something else happens to the best of us just gald the e-mail post was written about this thank you all.

Thanks for starting the thread, Deb.  Right now, I'm kinda blown away by the diagnosis.  I've gone from relief that indeed something was really wrong but can be treated, to wondering if it's something I missed earlier and could've helped, to (being honest here) being resentful that I have yet another adult to watch out for and help as we already care for both of my parents and dh's mom.  I wanted to be 'done' raising kids, but maybe that wasn't going to happen anyway...

She still will need to be off work two more weeks in addition to the one she's been off already while the meds adjust and she goes to out-patient meetings and therapy daily, so the immediate question/need will be about her bills.  The social worker says to get documentation to try and get some latitude about payments.  Everything is overdue and there is no money and won't be 'til she goes back to work.  Not to worry that I'll 'enable' her by paying them for her because we don't have the money either, lol.  We spoke to her bank yesterday about an account that will have no 'courtesy' overpayments resulting in so many overdraft fees.  It looks like we'll have to go with a savings-only account with only ATM cash-only priveleges and no debit card.  Her paycheck is electronically deposited, so she definitely needs an account of some type.

 More later as I fret think about it...Liz.

Lizzy once they find the right medcocktail and gets stablized on them then she'll come to understand that those medications are very important and to never go without them. DD#1 inherited her df's bipolar disorder and we didn't find out till a couple years ago when she was away at college, like her df once she was stablized on the meds she's fine making sure that she takes them without missing any. When she graduates this spring she'll be off her father's insurance which means no meds so right now she's stocking up while she's still insured and looking for any job, even as a cashier, that will give her health insureance till she can get a job in her degree feild. She wants to be independant of us as much as we want her to be and is making strides in that direction aware of her illness and how to take care of herself.

You probably won't be caring for her as an adult like you do with your dh's parents and yes this does get a little overwhelming and yes you will get angry enugh to as ds#1 loves to put it "Need Anger Management and not the movie either" but things will improve. As your dd gets established she'll be able to move toward being on her own like mine is, given her age an independant living plan will probably be part of her treatment plan but is more of a distant thing right now than anything else. Once she get home and is on her meds more than 30 days then work very patiently with her on bill paying skills and she'll probably start taking them over slowly, once he was diagnosed and stablized it only took dh 4 yrs to get to that point but that was also after 30+ yrs of bad spending habits.

As to what you could've missed with all that you've got going on chances are really good that you spotted something and even spoke up but then figured or were pressured into believing you were wrong and dropped it. DD#1 and I used to work at together on more than one occasion I'd comment to her that she was pushing herself too hard trying to do too much between school, work (16hr a wk) and all her clubs and needed to let something go once in awhile. If I mentioned it at work someone would pipe up and tell me that I should get off her back she was probably the type of person who loved to keep busy. If I mentioned it at home she'd go to work and complain to the co-workers that I was picking on her and the same nosy-busybody-who-couldn't-take-care-of-her-own-family telling me how to run mine (yes I told her off on more than one occasions but it never worked). Once the boss sold the company both myself and the busy body were laid off by the new owner so I haven't seen her to tell her that dd is bipolar and all those times I complained about her over doing she was hypermantic not someone who hated to be idol. 

People have an idea of what mentaly ill people are supposed to be like and if someone doesn't instantly fit into the slot then you're wrong and how dare you say that someone who doesn't fit that sterotype has a mental illness. Once the truth comes out that there is something wrong then they knew it all along and didn't want to offend the one with the sickness for fear they would go off like what everyone's seen on tv. Sorry if that sounds like a rant but millions of people have some form of mental illness or another yet society pegs the few dozen that make the nightly news for some viloent act as the standard not the execption which bugs me. When dh's boss said she'd never seen him go off violently I don't think 3 things occured to her 1 his favorite way of relieving stress was shopping not violence 2 he didn't feel safe around her so held off till he was home where he felt safe to relieve his stress through talking (ranting) to me 3 he only get viloent under extreme duress like going to work one day only to discover that the plant he'd worked at the day before was being boarded up and the entire staff getting laid off even then he comes back home where he feels safe to relieve his stress.

Dear All, Lots to reply to, I'm glad to see it.

Dear Seaturtle, Thank you for calling it "differently abled."  And thanks so much for recognizing my prayers.  My personal physician, Peter, always guides me back to my prayer life when I have soem mood instability.  Due to sleep problesm with my new doggie here,, one of those times was this past Thurs when I saw hiiim ....  Love in Hiim, Deb

Dear CheapChic & Seaturtle, The 1st thing I'm going to teach Heart of specifici service dog tasks is to alert me to when I must set out my meds & the tiimer.  The reason Peter got so worried about me last week was that I completely forgot the meds until I was filling out my dailly Life Chart before goign to sleep.  I had not forgotten at any time w/o aides here,,, until that day ....  Love in Him, Deb

Dear Liz, Yes, anotehr adult for you to  care for is as the sanddwich generation a true burden.  Nanagain has it right, thoguh.  Once you stick to your meds, problems that come up can be fixed with more meds.  (Sometimes hospitalization is needed to help you transition to the higher meds amounts.)  Therapy also helps.  So do social programs such as help with housing & job training.  Family love is the most important thing.  That heals bettter than anything else.  It is like super-gllue that mends broooeken china.  Love inHiim, Deb

Dear Nanagain, I couldn't agree with you moer about the pain caused by stigma.  Not every schizophrenic person is violent & not every bipolar person is a con-man.  Indeed, those who are are teh merest decimal point of us all.  The vast preponderance of us just make our personal lives unhappy.  There is a Silver Ribbon campaign by www.narsadartworks.com that I suggest all of us wear.  Love in Him, Deb 

Dear All, One out of every 10 people in the US will have some form of mental illlness at some time in their lifetime AND one out of everyy 10 people in teh US has some person in their extended family who has serious & chronic mental illness such as schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.  This is not something that just affects the other guy.  Yours iiin Him, Deb

 Dear Deb,

I am fascinated by your training of Heart. How do you train a dog to alert you for meds?