Here's a question from a reader. Please respond if you can help.

I have a 51 year old daughter that had a major stroke Aug. 2005,  she can't talk, her right arm is no good, a very bad right foot, my question is she is residing in a assisted living facility, but her room is 8x10 real small for a 246 lb woman.  I hear no assistance can be got for a small studio for her, but if we put her in a nursing home that would be paid in full, which is much much more expensive. She has medicaide and medicare now and receives a disability check each month, which is small.  Is their anyway we can get help for her to at least have a studio instead of living day to day on a twin bed?  She hopefully has a long life ahead of her, to have her live like this. I am her mother, retired, no money to help, and too old and health problems to be able to go to work.  Any idea's what is avilable for this kind of situation.  No places available for younger folk.  We mention nursing home to my daughter and she freaks out.  Maybe someone has some information I don't know about.

 

Call your local Social Services department and find out about group homes for adults.  A friend of mine has a sibling with Down's Syndrome in his 40s, and he lives with a host family and another disabled adult - rather like foster care, but for disabled adults rather than children.  Also check into other, similar services for disabled adults, including respite care and day programs, as once you find one source of services, they can refer you to others.  Many of them will be aimed at those with developmental disabilities, and the waiting lists are very long - so start NOW.

I would agree with Karen. See if they have any assisted living facilities or group homes.

Dear Reader Who Relayed a Question Via Pat, I, too, agree with Karen.  Private group homes would be the way to go.  The problem is that most of htem are reserved either for peoople with developmental disabilities/intellect ual disability (used to be called mental retardation) or autism, etc -- or for people with Psychiatric Disabilliteis.  I would start with the governmental agency responsible for help with strokes, http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/stroke/stroke_rehabilitation.htm , & go with their links to seek help in finding a group hooome.  Good luck!  Yours in Him, Deb

we have custody of a disabled adult he is in an assisted living home here with 4 other adults and  there are 4 couples who rotate care giving  they are excellent ..

unfortunately if she has a bad arm and leg, she can't live alone safely.  My neighbour  had a stroke and it was a long time before she was well enough not to worry about her.  lives in her own home but has homecare every morning and night because she can't get her shoes on/off.

she fell and broke her hip and it was a few hours before she was found.   so group home or nursing home is the best place.

 

I also agree there is no way for a woman with a weight problem and limited use of a foot and language to live safely alone.  She needs to be in a care facility. There is no reason she should be in a bed during the day, I worked many facilities and they have you up and dressed by 8 or 9, in a wheelchair or gurney if needed. She might be one of the youngest at a nursing home, but there are rehab places and other sites, does she have a worker to do some research?  I think it would be much healthier for her to be in a facility with rehab services, meals to help her lose weight and gain mobility, assistance with daily living and social contact than in a studio apartment at risk.  Her expenses should be covered at an appropriate facility.  Good luck finding the right home for your daughter. I am sorry to hear she had a stroke at such a young age.  I think if it were me, I would be happier in a place with people checking on me and services to help improve my life. Best wishes in your search. 

my neighbour I spoke of, had a younger sister that had a stroke in her 50's and had to go to a nursing home.   brain aneurisms run in the family.   she lost lots of her mental abilities and had a bad arm so that was the only safe place for her.

Even when she visited, she had to be watched closely and she wasn't overweight but still it was hard on my neighbour .  She passed away a few years ago. Her life was greatly shortened by the stroke.