Hi Everybody...

  Some of you may remember that I talked about doing this last year, but I am once again considering the homeschool idea. Here's the beef. I have a 16 yr old sophmore, or at least she should be, who has not been in attendance in reegular school more than 3 days this whole school year. She missed 2 whole weeks of school before having a laproscopy procedure done last Friday for diagnostic purposes. Fortunately they did not find anything. Still this child has been diagnosed with anxiety ( in 4th grade ) and till now she is still not treated. Why? Because she refuses to take any medication. I can't exactly force it down her throat. And I am so tired of everyone telling me what to do with my child.Outside of God Iknow this child better than anyone else and I know what works for her and what doesn't.

The other part is that she did not pass half of her classes in regular school last year. So actually only has 6 credits from her freshman year of high school. I have no idea how to go about homeschooling her, but I am beginning to think that this is an option we should try. The problem is that her dad does not agree with me on the subject and truthfully I can't see how it would hurt to try. She has failed the same math class for several years now and her confidence in learning has dwindled down to nothing. She can learn, but I really feel that she needs more one to one instruction. I also feel it is pointless to send her to public school only to have her fail some more. She misses a lot of school because of the anxiety issues, which I feel are taking their toll on her this year. She does want to attend school after high school, but mainly for hair dressing and makeup...would like to get involved in the the world of theatre or acting. She is gifted as an artist and I know how to cover those types of classes, but she still needs her core classes and that is where I am painfully lacking in knowledge. Can anyone give me some pointers to help me develop a lesson plan? And is it possible to homeschool a teen on a limited budget? We are strapped for cash at the moment , so I don't have much money to invest in curriculum.

I do intend to contact some of the local homeschoolers to see where they point me, but am wondering if this can be done on a budget of next to nothing with a teen. And of course I lack confidence in this whole idea for me as a teacher, but only because school has beena  source of contention for my daughter and I over the years. That being said, I am hoping to pinpoint her strengths with homeschool, while boosting her weaknesses as well.

Any advice is welcome.

I do not have any kids. My friends who have homeschooled have done neat things like go to local museums to cover some school material. For example.....Civil War could be covered partly by going to Fort Monroe's Casemate Museum and the Mariner's Museum. Science/biology could be covered by going to the Virginia Living Museum. If you went to VA Beach or Norfolk, you could go to the Virginia Aquarium and Nauticus.

You could go to Williamsburg & Yorktown to cover Colonial HIstory.

I understand there is stuff about home schooling on the internet.

Hope that helps !

 We have been homeschooling several years now.  How much or how little you spend on homeschooling is up to you. Since you are starting with an older child, I would use the states eduactional outline (what they expect the children to be taught in each subject at each level).  Your local public school may even have something posted online.  I would then either buy used materials online, at your regional homeschool curriculum fair or look for free things online to print out (just remember printing yourself is not cheap).

Sam's has some great Science/history videos.  I try to pick up one each time I visit - WWI, WWII, aviation history, landmarks of the world...

 The library is a great place to find book that the student is interested in.

The first thing I would do when starting with her is to start slowly and watch for any undiagnosed learning problems.  Some very smart kids have issues here and there that make them struggle harder than others in learning.  This can trigger anxiety in many kids.  Homeschool Legal (HSLDA) has some great specialists in that area for service and we work with 1 who has been quite amazing at helping us help our kids learn better.

 There are lots of different ways to homeschool a high school child. Ebay is a good place for used materials. First, Iwould determine how she wants to learn, .....reading books, doing worksheets, computer, videos to watch.  What she is comfortable with and can grasp and retain. For the last DD, we did it all ourselves until senoir year, then we did School of Tomorrow correspondance so she could have areal diploma from a school. My boys did a lot of work study in a part time job. That worked good for them, hands on learning. 

Kabin, you are right that you know her best . In my state at 16, I did not have to report to the state because 16 year olds can quit school. That makes the legal part easier. Go with your gut feelings for her, Babs

Kabin,

I am so sorry to hear your daughter is having a difficult time, I know how hard anxiety and other psychological challenges can be on an entire family. Homeschooling her may be the start, and others here have some great ideas. Several of our friends use School of Tomorrow or similar services, though my understanding is they're a bit expensive. Since you're strapped for cash, perhaps you can start those later? For now, is there another family (or families) in her age group you could team up with, perhaps a family who is strong in the core skills but lacking in the arts? That way, you could swap teaching those classes, which benefits the children not only in knowledge base, but also in learning in different ways. That will be important when your daughter continues her education, because she'll need to be able to learn from different teachers. I second the notion of watching her for further learning disabilities, as these often go unnoticed (my dyscalculia went undiagnosed until college!), and can be the source of much anxiety in and of themselves.

There are also a lot of homeschooling collectives. We have two here, one is great, the other is just kind of so-so (they're shy on core classes, as they leave out a good bit of science, history, and government/world politics for religous reasons, which has caused many of the children to have issues getting into college). If you can find one of these near you, you may be able to get source materails cheaply from families who've already used them for their older children. Also, many of these arrange field trips, sports, and other social outlets where your daughter will be able to interact with children her own age in a safe, supervised environment.  They often get group rates on things, which will help save money, too.Plus, it would be a great source of support and knowledge as you and your daughter start on your homeschooling journey!

That said, there is the deeper issue that will need to be addressed, or the simple truth is your daughter is going to have a difficult time managing further education and/or a job. All continuing education presents challenges that can cause anxiety, from neurophysics to electrician apprenticeship to nail technician. Cosmetology school is often, for example, difficult for someone with social anxiety because it's often a bit gossipy and catty (it's mostly young women who are very focused on appearances). Theater has a heirarchy, and a lot of politics. And, almost all jobs have at least some level of stress, and many have a good bit of interpersonal interaction that can cause anxiety. So, while homeschooling is a good start, it's also something of a stop-gap measure. At some point, your daughter will have to be willing to deal with her anxiety, whether that means taking her medications, pursuing alternative therapies like diet or relaxation techniques, or something else, she'll have to become responsible. As a parent, you're right, there's a point at which you cannot shove medication down a child's throat, and she's well past that age. My suggestion is that, in addition to home schooling (which may help relieve some of her pressure in the meantime, allowing her to deal more effectively with her challenges), try to have her see a good, licensed therapist who specializes in anxiety issues, and if you can find one, possibly one who specializes in learning issues, too. Many have a sliding scale, as you're on a tight income, and some do pro-bono work. Some home schooling programs (we have a local one that is excellent, and has a huge list of resources for parents) will have a list of appropriate counselors, therapists, and learning/education specialists that they work with. This is a great place to get referrals, because the counselors will be known and to some degree pre-screened. They'll also be more likely to be on-baord with homeschooling (many counselors and therapists are not). Direct and honest dialogue from someone not her mom (she's at an age where parents are deeply "uncool," so what you say may not, unfortunately, have the same weight as if someone else said it) may prompt her to start taking some control and responsibility for her challenges. She wants to continue her education, and a trained professional may be able to help her see that, in order to do that, she's going to have to make some changes.Homeschooling may provide her a safe, understanding environment to implement those changes, whereas public school may not.

Good luck!

kabin:

I have no idea how to go about homeschooling her, but I am beginning to think that this is an option we should try. The problem is that her dad does not agree with me on the subject and truthfully I can't see how it would hurt to try.

Since you and her dad don't agree, maybe you could exhaust all other resources available to you in the school system first. Has your DD seen the school psychologist? Has the school nurse given her a referral to see a specialist? Has your daughter been tested for special education resources?

Thank you everyone for your responses. Well, the whole idea is now defunct. My husband said absoultely no way and my dd has also decided she would rather stay in school. She has been tested but not qualified in 4th and 5th grades. The only thing they could diagnose at that time was dysgraphia.

Thank again...

Falconinburgundy:

my dyscalculia went undiagnosed until college!

Can you tell me specifically what I would be looking for? When she was tested back in the earlier grades she was low in some areas, but not enough to warrant special ed services. She has not passed math in 4 years.

 Kabin, School of tomorrow has a free online diagnostic test for math and english that will show gaps in learning so you can plan what you need to work on with teaching. Dont know if that would help you or not. Maybe take a look at it.  They may have other subjects now , not sure, Babs

Dyscalculia can have varying degrees and presentations (for example, I am fine with numbers in columns or rows of 3, but after that my brain starts turning them around as a dyslexic person would with letters, but for some people it's 2 columns or 4, or not until they try to add, etc.). There is a thought that dyscalculics have difficulty keeping track of time, but I do not.  I started flunking, or almost flunking, math in 3rd grade, but was reading college texts by 5th grade, and was a straight A student in literally everything except math through high school. Teachers called me lazy, said I just "didn't like it," and blamed it on being a girl! I was never even tested, despite my physics teacher pleading to get me tested. I was his lab assistant, I aced everything that involved letters and concepts, but would flunk anything requiring calculations. He knew I was not lazy, he worked with me 2 days a week after school to try and figure it out. He knew something was wrong, he just didn't know what. Unfortunately, I was in private school, and this was many years ago, so special education testing wasn't readily available and dyscalculia wasn't even really being diagnosed. Finally, in college, I wanted to be a tutor for adults learning to read. The tests they give you  to establish aptitute raised red flags, and they suggested I get tested for math learning disability. It was then I found out what was wrong all those years!

I was diagnosed with the KeyMath test, if that's helpful for anyone.

So, here are some things to look for, but keep in mind that even if she is dyscalculic she probably won't present with all of them:

-Trouble in math related classes with numbers (math, accounting, etc.), but can excel at geometry

-Good verbal and written skills, and an overal average or above intelligence. Does well in many academics, but cannot seem to do well in maths and sciences.

-Understands conceptually what math and science is saying, and can explain it; but, continually gets calculations incorrect (this is often the cause of teachers saying things like "she's lazy," or "she's just not paying attention," which isn't at all true in the case of a dyscalculic). Some dyscalculics, however, also cannot grasp the basic processes or concepts, depending on the type of dyscalculia.

-Trouble keeping track of time and dates, is often late. Schedules can be a problem.

-Difficulty tracking cardinal directions without a compass. Often trouble with geography, as well.

-Difficulty with math-related courses such as music (violin lessons, etc.) or languages