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Marriage

Last post Mon, Jul 20 2009 12:30 PM by eyrehead. 17 replies.
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  • Wed, Jul 15 2009 2:48 PM

    • AmyC
    • Top 100 Contributor
    • Joined on Wed, Oct 24 2007
    • Posts 868

    Marriage

     I feel like I am going out on a limb here and I really don't want to cause problems, but....I have something to say.  I just want to remind everyone to take the time to invest in thier marriages as they invest in thier frugal ways.   Divorce rates are increasing across the country and I believe that a lot of it is connected to the financial strain of the economy.  I am currently in my second marriage so obviously I a m not totally against divorce, but I support marriage more!

    Dh and I try to take the time to do things together even if it is just cleaning the house and talking while we do so.  We also always eat dinner together.  These two things seem simple, but they keep us connected/  What do you do to stay connected to your spouse?

    http://carneyexploits.blogspot.com

  • Wed, Jul 15 2009 2:58 PM In reply to

    Re: Marriage

    We make it a point to stop everything we're doing after DD goes to bed and spend a couple hours together just the 2 of us.  Normally we veg and watch t.v., but we also discuss things -- not just daily dealing-with-life stuff, but stuff about the book(s) I'm reading or an idea we have for decorating the house or something new DH discovered about his music software.  It sounds kinda mundane, but it's our unwind time together and we do this most nights of the week.
    Officially Recognized Stretchpert in the General forum
  • Wed, Jul 15 2009 3:22 PM In reply to

    Re: Marriage

    AmyC:
    I just want to remind everyone to take the time to invest in thier marriages as they invest in thier frugal ways.

    I don't believe you're going out on a limb at all, and I appreciate your friendly reminder.

    AmyC:
    What do you do to stay connected to your spouse?

    Right now email and telephone are the only ways I can stay connected. Sometimes our telephone connection is terrible--I mean awful! But if we get disconnected (which often happens), hubbie will ALWAYS try to call back so we can say "I love you and miss you" to each other. We firmly believe in proper goodbyes. Even when he is home, if he leaves for work early while I'm still in bed, he will always wake me to say goodbye and give me a kiss.

    AmyC:
    Divorce rates are increasing across the country and I believe that a lot of it is connected to the financial strain of the economy.

    I think most of us here would agree that we'd rather be poor and married to our honeys than rich and lonely. I know I would! Smile

    Stacie

    http://holdinghandswithmyhoney.blogspot.com/
  • Wed, Jul 15 2009 3:46 PM In reply to

    • Toni B.
    • Top 25 Contributor
    • Joined on Sat, Apr 5 2008
    • Seneca Falls NY
    • Posts 3,826

    Re: Marriage

    AmyC:
    What do you do to stay connected to your spouse?
    We built a raised garden together and monitor that everyday. And lately my husband has been building frames for my extensive collection of finished cross stitch projects. There is much communication or sometimes "good natured verbal sparring" that goes with these projects. We watch sports together too.
    Officially Recognized Stretchpert in Stages of Life
  • Wed, Jul 15 2009 4:02 PM In reply to

    Re: Marriage

    It's DH and my 9th anniversary today. We are having a date night, no kids. That's how we stay connected: by doing things as a couple. Most don't involve going out and/or spending $. Sometimes we work in our yard, fold laundry together, go for a run together, etc.

    Thanks, Amy, for the gentle reminder of how important my DH is to my life. Big Smile

    Erika
  • Wed, Jul 15 2009 4:24 PM In reply to

    Re: Marriage

    AmyC:

     I feel like I am going out on a limb here and I really don't want to cause problems, but....I have something to say.  I just want to remind everyone to take the time to invest in thier marriages as they invest in thier frugal ways.  

    No, you aren't going out on a limb. I agree that it's a great idea to remind each other... and we need to be reminded often. Marriage takes work, LOTS of work... and it especially needs extra attention during times like this. Thank you for initiating a very important thread!!!

    AmyC:

     What do you do to stay connected to your spouse?

    Well, first of all, we are both home-bodies. My husband and I are about as different as you can get (11 years age difference, different up bringings, different life experiences, different interests, etc.) but one of the important things we have in common is that we love each other and love our family and home. We both enjoy doing things with others but generally we are home. So many couples I know live almost seperate lives and I think that this is very difficult to do while still maintaining a strong marriage.

    When we got together, hubby worked on the road. He woudl be gone 2 weeks to 2 months at a time. We decided it was best for our marraige and our future (now existant) family that he take a lesser paying job at home so that he could be here. We are so glad that he did because, especially with 2 kids, I can't imagine having to have him gone. I respect those couples who have to have long-distant relationships (due to job, military service, etc.) because it's such a hard thing on a marraige.

    We enjoy eating out but usually do that as a family. Our main thing that we do together for "us time" is (sorry if this is too much information) we take a bath together. We run the hottest water we can stand, light some candles and just relax. We also enjoy watching movies after the kids are in bed. Before kids, we liked to fish together but haven't been able to do that in a while.

    Have a blessed day,

    Julie

  • Wed, Jul 15 2009 4:37 PM In reply to

    Re: Marriage

    DH & I need to work on having more time together just the two of us.  We don't get out much without the kids and DD is not great about going to bed at night, it takes a lot to get her to sleep and sucks our evening time up a lot.

    When we do have time by ourselves, we love to sit and chat over a glass of wine.  If we get to go out (rarely, only if we have babysitting offers from family as paying one is too pricey right now!), we love to go out to a restaurant that doesn't cater to children.  It's been awhile since we did that!

    At the weekends, we send the kids to nap and spend time vegging out together.

    Even though we don't get a lot of time just the two of us, we do talk a lot.  I try to focus 100% on him when he comes home for at least 15 mins or so.  I turn tv on for the kids or tell them to play on their own so we can talk.  That makes a big difference.

    We are fortunate, we have a good relationship, we are great friends.  We are both in this together and try to work together to reach our goals. 

    And we dream of the freedom of the future, when the kids are older, when we have more cash, less debt, can take a trip together, etc.

  • Wed, Jul 15 2009 4:42 PM In reply to

    Re: Marriage

    I envy you all for having spouses. I've been divorced since 1994. I'd love to have a SO in my life.

    One reason I don't have a SO in my life is that a lot of men don't understand why I have to drop everything if the nursing home calls about Mom. The men I know can't accept the fact that they will have to share me with my duties as Mom's POA, a very spoiled Pampered Princess, and my hobbies.

    I really would enjoy doing things with a SO like watch tv or a movie or either cook together or go out to eat. I also would love to find a SO who was good at foot massages.

    I actually know a man who would love to be my SO but he wouldn't cater to my reasonable requests of mow the grass, go out & get the paper & the mail, bring in the packages from the car, etc. He would expect me to support him financially and to cater to his every whim.

    Trust me when I say that Aurora for all of her tantrums and pouts is more company and fun than this man is.

  • Wed, Jul 15 2009 6:40 PM In reply to

    • AmyC
    • Top 100 Contributor
    • Joined on Wed, Oct 24 2007
    • Posts 868

    Re: Marriage

     Thank you all for my little nosy reminder.  I just wanted to say something because I know several couples taht are currently struggling, who seemed so strong before things got bad financially.  We need to keep those lines of communication open and keep working at it.

    http://carneyexploits.blogspot.com

  • Thu, Jul 16 2009 1:35 AM In reply to

    • alexss
    • Top 500 Contributor
    • Joined on Mon, Jun 23 2008
    • Posts 134

    Re: Marriage

    If we get to pick, I'll pick rich and married to my honey!  Smile Big Smile

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