About a month ago I cave into pressure to buy expensive cookie dough from a lady.  Honestly, I don't have a dime to spare, but, I didn't want to say "no" because of "what would they think, I live in a nice house and I can't afford $13?

Well, delivery day came and they had verified funds previously and she told me that I didn't have $ to cover it.  Well, instead of not accepting the cookie dough I reached into my savings envelope and gave her the $$ and swore to myself not to do this again. I was humiliated, she was embarassed she said, and I am trying to forget it!!! (by getting it out in the open).  If I would have said NO to begin with I would have saved myself this grief!!

Carmina (I don't remember bying anything or attending parties where you have to buy things in years, except this time....I am trying not to be soo mad at myself)

Carmina:

I didn't want to say "no" because of "what would they think, I live in a nice house and I can't afford $13?

Let them think you live in a nice house because you won't spend that much!

 Well, this week my neighbor invited me to a party (where spend $$).  I didn;t go, she called DH, he called me and I  told him, "when you go to these parties you have to spend $$ (I don't have) so there is no point in going".  Then Her DH came over to invite me and I politely declined.  I only went once to a party over 10 years ago and didn't buy anything, then another neighbor pointed out to me that "YOu didn't buy anything!". After that I got the point that unless I have $$ to spend, there is no point in wasting my time and giving people hope that I am spending for them to get their free merchandise.

Carmina:

After that I got the point that unless I have $$ to spend, there is no point in wasting my time and giving people hope that I am spending for them to get their free merchandise.

I don't go to those "parties" even when I have money to spend, because I refuse to buy anything out of guilt. If it's something I need and/or want and the price is good, I will buy it. That never happens at those things. 

If you don't want to go to a party, just tell them that there's nothing you need or want, so it would be a waste of time. 

 I told my DH about the cookie dough incident and how stupid and humiliated I felt and he told me "YOu shouldn't have bought the cookie dough in the first place"!!!  The truth hurts and he was right!  I would have saved myself all the grief!

Our Jewish sages, dear Carmina, say that shaming a person liket he cookie dough vendor did to you is equivalent to murder, because the face of the victim pales & then blushes like the shedding of blood.  I hope that you can get over your feellligns of humiliation quiclky.  She was all weet.  As are those busybodies who try to force all of their acquaintances into attending sales parties.  (Apologies to those who run sales parties:  I'm opinionated nn the subject.)  Love in Him, Deb

For a brief time, I did consulting/sales for one of those types of companies. I liked the product, in general I liked the company and I felt that there was a real opportunity to make money at it if you put the time and effort into it (you get out what you put in, right?). But the MAIN REASON why I quit was because of the pressure the company put on sales consultants and the pressure they encouraged sales consultants to put on clients (or potential clients). That wasn't and isn't my style. Like I said, I liked the product, put a lot of effort into giving people samples (the item should mostly sale itself, I believe) and I tried to be very transparent with the people that I sold to. but the company wanted area directors to constantly be hounding you (the sale consultant) to do this and that.... and they practically bullied you into having these types of parties, performing makeovers, etc. I don't see a problem with having a party to introduce friends and family to your product. And I believe that performing makeovers was an excellent way to sell (again, let the person try the product and if it's a good product then they will see that, right?). But they pressured you to do these things to such an extreme that it was just too overwhelming. They were and are correct: the parties are where you make your money. But I wasn't going to be dishonest about it, I wasn't going to be responsible for people feeling pressured, guilty or anything else. Perhaps that makes me a bad sales person - so be it, LOL.

For this reason, along with the pressure to stock up on an insane amount of inventory (which, in my opinion, is pointless these days with online ordering and fast shipping), I decided to no longer sale the product. It wasn't that I didn't like the product or enjoy selling it or that I didn't see it as a potential money maker... I just wasn't going ot take it to the level that they wanted me to take it....

anyways... that's my personal story... LOL.

On another note... my problem is when the school fundraisers start. I usually try to buy from the kids in the family... because I remember being that age and how important it was to feel like you accomplished something (these items are usually over priced but I try to look at it as more of an investment in the valuable experience that the child is getting). But sometimes I really do get aggravated with the schools. They never seem to pick the stuff anymore that's worth your money. It's always overpriced wrappipng paper with so little on the roll. Or it's overpriced candy. I remember selling thinngs like the World Famous Chocolate (or whatever it's called), or just the simple packs of M&Ms or candy bars or fancy suckers... those items were cheap and reasonably priced (more expensive than store, but they have to make some profit). But those items, at least, mom could bring to work and set out in the lunch room and people could see what they were spending their money on. But the items from a catalog are almost always a dissapointment. But I think schools are just looking at the profit potential. If the students sell the more expensive stuff with a bigger profit margin, they don't have to sell as much I guess.

And I get aggravated when, every time I go to WAlmart, they have 2-3 different groups of kids attacking you at the door to sell you something. I mean, I can understand... and I get that they are at least working for their money (rather than the groups that stand on the road in our area with a bucket asking for money for some baseball trip or something... what does that teach the kids??? HELLO!). But it's still aggravating because I can't always purcahse what they are selling and I instantly feel guilty.

Man.. that was a long response... LOL.

Have a blessed day,

Julie

 I did the round of Tupperware parties, Jafra parties, Mary Kay, and some crystal party, and they got so boring and such a waste of time I started turning down all invitations. I didn't have the money anyway for items.  My house isn't "crystal", it's shabby, shabby chic from 2nd hand and from thift stores, and what ever I can I make. Most of the Tupperware after about 10 years went into recycle. The makeup wasn't any better than store bought, and getting it at the store was more convenient. 

As for the party environment, I feel the same way about bridal showers or baby showers; they're boring, not fun,  and the activities are an insult to intelligence. The dumbest activity was "name the candy bar" that someone did. I'd rather be home sewing. All such party invites like that get turned down.Edey

Like others, we usually do buy something from family when their school is selling for a fundraiser or when it's Girl Scout cookie time, etc. And that is my excuse for every other fundraising thing that comes a 'knockin at my door. "We limit our fundraising to our family, I'm sorry and good luck." It works for the kiddos that sit outside Wal Mart and the grocery stores, too. And now that my sons' daycare/preschool sells pizzas once a year, I try and be mindful of this as well. I usually only sell to our family and maybe a friend who sold to us.

I'm sorry Carmina felt guilted into this. I'm sorry that the "home" based businesses/direct sales have become so aggressive. I used to enjoy getting together with a couple of friends and trying on make-up or jewelry or trying a recipe and then buying something small and leaving. Now, it is so pushy. I think it is personally reasonable to tell people "I just don't have the funds right now--I'm tapped out this month." I usually let my DH be the bad guy (and he is ok with it) and say "oh, my DH has limited me on these parties and I really have to stick to my promise to him." I always tell them good luck. And if I know I won't buy anything, I just don't attend.

I realize that these are businesses with women trying to make extra money and there are women out there that want to buy the products. So it continues.

Carmina:

Well, this week my neighbor invited me to a party

 Those are not parties for socialising. Those are sales gatherings. You are absolutely right that there is no point in going unless you are interested in making a purchase.

I hope your husband understands these things now so he can support you in staying away from them. You can't afford to be guilted into making purchases that you aren't really prepared to make.