Brandy, my hubby and I lived in an apartment when we first got married (almost 9 years ago). The apartment your friend is looking at has WAY more rules/restrictions than ours did. However since it's been awhile since we lived there, I'm sure that apartment rules have changed somewhat.
As far as the monies involved, some of them seem extensive. The $200 admin fee, that seems pretty out there for me. Our complex didn't allow pets, so I don't know if the fees are resonable for them or not. We didn't pay extra for ground units, trash was included in our rent and renters insurance was recommended but not required.
Complex rules seem fairly normal. We wern't allowed to alter our apartment in any fashion as well (paint, shelf liner). The balcony we didn't have any restrictions on though, but I can see how they might do that now since some people literally use them as storage spaces and they can look really junky.
As far as income verification, prior rental history, etc I guess that is pretty standard. We would have been in trouble though, it was the first place we'd lived at besides our parents (we didn't live together until married) so we didn't have any prior rental history. I guess the only thing I could recommend to see if the requirements are out of line would be to check with your state's tenant/renters rights board (I am pretty sure most states have something along those lines) to make sure that nothing is unlawful or discriminatory.