Stages of Life

Are You a Nerd?

Toni B. — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:13:00 GMT

Is there a topic or subject that you're interested in but most people would be surprised to find you're interested in? Are there programs or TV shows that captivate you? Are there websites you visit frequently? Do you belong to any clubs or organizations? For example, I visit NOAA website for nationwide weather tracking and USGS for tracking earthquakes mostly in Southern Calif. Share your "Inner Nerd" here.

If You Could Tell Customers One Thing... What Advice Would You Offer?

Toni B. — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 18:35:22 GMT

The wonderful thing about the Dollar Stretcher Forums is that we have a variety of folks who have expertise in all walks of life. And every day - no matter what job there is - we encounter people who could use a hint or two and make life easier for themselves and others. So whether you are in Retail, Service Industry, Medical, Legal, Law Enforcement, Finance, Transportation, Education, Blue Collar - White Collar, Volunteers, Everybody - now is your time to chime in. If you have more than one thing ... that's okay too.

Are you a Loner or Social Butterfly

Toni B. — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 01:00:34 GMT

Picked this topic from another forum and thought the answers were interesting. Do you prefer your own company or being in a group? What's the longest time you've ever spent alone? How do you get if you're a loner but surrounded by people? Do you go out of your way to seek people out if you find yourself alone. Do you have a lot or few friends? Are you better at internet relationships, casual relationships or close BFF relationships? Are you the opposite of your spouse or SO?

What Would You Have Done Differently?

Toni B. — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 16:35:18 GMT

Looking back on your life so far, and evaluating outcomes, What would you have differently? More or less education? Different career path? Better prepared for life in general? Chosen different people to associate with? Taken more chances? Taken less chances? Moved to a new location or stay close to home?

Changing Lifestyles

Toni B. — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 18:30:55 GMT

Has anyone here made a decision to change their lifestyle and go with something totally different? What age were you when you made this change? What reaction did you get from friends and family? Was it tough making the transition? Did something happen to prompt the change? Was the change temporary or permanent? What lessons did you learn? Share your story.

Planning for Widowhood

Brandy — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 15:22:38 GMT

"Memo to Bartlett's: Add an asterisk next to Ben Franklin's quote that "in this world nothing is certain but death and taxes."

We can also be sure that most husbands will die before their wives do. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 80% of women live longer than their spouses and often by many years -- 14 years on average.

Given those facts, it would seem that husbands would do more to ensure their wives' transitions to widowhood didn't result in poverty. But that's often not the case, according to a report (.pdf file) by Boston College's Center for Retirement Research. "

Read the rest of the article

Do you have a plan?

Early Estate Planning

Toni B. — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 13:01:03 GMT

Estate planning just isn't for old age. There are things to protect even when your are just starting out. Check out the link and read the article or go to the main page of the Dollar Stretcher http://www.stretcher.com/brm/09/09oct13d.htm

This economy and your future retirement

alexss — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 12:46:34 GMT

Many of us who had investments took a huge hit in the last year or two (401Ks, etc) and people who have mostly cash/CDs/etc are earning very little interest. So how much has the last 2 years impacted your future retirement plans--has it made it a more distant dream, cut back the level you will be able to live or do you think you'll have time to regroup before you get to that point?

What's your stage of life?

Pat — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 14:12:19 GMT

Mine is semi retired. I live alone, two of my adult kids live in the same town. A third one lives halfway across the country. I still "cook for a hay crew" sometimes. The biggest challenge I have is getting things done that I can't do myself. Part of the reason is that I'm single now and part of it is because I'm older and have health problems that slow me down. I hate to hire someone to do what may look like something simple. I make do and do without often just because of that. Silly, I know...

What about you? Are you newlywed? Retired? Just lost a job? Won the lottery? What challenges do you face that are peculiar to your stage of life?

Memory & Multitasking

Toni B. — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 15:17:11 GMT

How are your efforts at multitasking? As you get older, do you find it easier or harder to do multiple tasks? Are there some things that require 100% attention? Has trying to multitask cost you or helped you? As you get age, does it seem more difficult to keep track of things?

Sick and out of pocket

Joyous — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 02:46:28 GMT

Dear All,

I struggled with where to post this, and I decided finally to post it in "Stages of Life," because I'm experiencing a stage of life right now - it's called "sick out of her head!" I have a fever and chills, a sore throat, general fatigue and wooziness and I have decided I'm probably going to be out of pocket for a day or so, at least. I wouldn't mention it except my husband teased that if I go from 25-40 posts a day for weeks to 00 posts a day for two days, someone would notice and worry. So don't worry, I'm not dead, merely sleeping.

Sadly, I think this means that only I can eat all those cookies I baked today. . . .

Frugal Happiness in Marriage

Toni B. — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 16:42:28 GMT

gvljohnsons:
I recently attended a wedding at which the bride and groom were teased for taking their first (for both of them) trip to the grocery the week before. The first year of marriage is not the time to learn to shop!

When I worked in a medical library, one of my student workers asked for marriage advice. I told him to do things like go grocery shopping, furniture shopping, look at homes on the market, BABYSIT children for a weekend. Do things that don't come up until after the wedding. You can find out a lot about a person by the way they respond in other environments. He was floored to hear this at first but they tried it and did discover some interesting things.

College students and credit cards

Pat — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 16:57:19 GMT

My daughter got a credit card early on, and although she knew better, it got out of hand. Parents can teach kids in various ways, but I think, at least for some, it takes experience to realize how dangerous they can be.

Have your college age kids applied for credit cards? Or if you're in college yourself, do you use them? One or more? What are the ways college students, with little or no income, can keep credit card balances from getting out of hand?

How do you handle an emptying nest?

Cinnamonhuskies — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 20:02:20 GMT

I know in a year my oldest will be either off to college or just gone. My youngest will be 3 yrs behind that.

What will i do? I've given my life to my kids literally...through homeschooling mostly. I have put my life on permanent hold since them, and dh and I started having kids immediately after marrying so our whole world is them. What now?

I've heard other couples can't wait when the kids finally leave...then they can focus on themselves as a couple again. I really don't remember what dh and I ever did before kids, having only dated 4 months before marrying and the babies started coming within a year. Dh says we'll get to spend more time together. What does that mean?! when we are together alone, which is rare, we talk about the kids, esp. since the oldest has been a troublemaker.

I want my boys to grow up and leave as soon as possible, but what do I do then? I can't imagine.

retired

karen kay — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 19:22:10 GMT

I am officially retired today. got my first social security check..and if i didnt know how to manage money, i'd be in trouble. of course, i have an interest check to help me also. when i look back on my life, I had no clue as to what ss would be. so many things i wished i had done differently. but when you are young and stupid , old age is so far away. i worked for 20 years at low paying jobs , so i ended up receiving half the amount my husband draws. so my years working didnt make a bit of difference as far as ss goes. it only helped at the time i was working and of course i didnt think about savings or bonds ,etc. live for the next payday if you worked enough to draw one. but i will be doing okay if i watch my p's and q's. does anyone else fall in this same boat? Or do you have any experiences that might help the younger people on this site so they won't make the same mistakes.

How Old Do You Feel?

Toni B. — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 17:06:42 GMT

My cousin was lamenting about turning 50 and it got me thinking. How old do yo feel mentally, emotionally and physically? Are you in better or worse shape? What things make you feel old? (music, TV shows, technology etc) Do you remember your parents being the age you are now? Did they seem old to you back then? Are you more open or jaded in your views and opinions?

Disability is in practical terms a stage of life

Deborahmichelle — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 19:28:05 GMT

Dear All, I suspect that Luvd_Lioness & Virginia Needlewoman & a number of others on this site would agree with me that disability changed their lives. Actually, all of us who live long enough are likely to be disabled at some point. For those who are disabled, what "fixes" have you tried? What has been successful? Have you experienced stigma because of your disability?

I find that a cheerful countenance helps a lot with getting aid.

For the bipolar aspect of my multiple disabilities, I have experienced some employment discrimination. It is so common in the legal profession that most lawyers with disabilities have solo practices, as I did.

Yours in Him, Deb

So how do you handle aging parents?

4givennotperfect — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 00:33:57 GMT

This week being at my parents for my mom's surgery made it quite clear that my parents need to move out of their house. It is just too much for them to handle with my fathers health condition . While I was there he fell on the front steps and has been limping all week(refuses to go to the doctor). He also had an accident in my car(could not control his bowels). It has never happened to him before in public but he has regular bowel probelms. I have never felt so bad and so much compassion for my father! My brother finally admitted to me he thinks we could take care of them better(I don't live near them) as it is just him and his wife(and young son) and his wife will not help. He has spent hours and hours over there this winter. He loves them so much and it hurt him to admit that he was having a hard time. They are 74 and 75. My father has heart problems, diabetes and is going downhill. He won't listen to us about waiting for us to help him(shoveling, household maintenance) and refuses to hire anyone to help, accept once or twice a year. My 104 year old grandmother lives with them and in all seriousness is in much better shape than both my parents. She is more help than hinderance. My mother has balance problems and has fallen quite a bit in recent years.

So, my brother and I firmly believe my father does not have a lot of time left and another winter in that house may kill him. We believe it is time to do something. My mother keeps saying it is not the time to move but my dad wants more than anything to be here in Vermont near me and his grandkids. He has for the last 5 years but my mom wont move because she is worried what it will do to my grandmother. She is the least of my worries she is healthy as a horse. my mother also does not want to move from the home she has spent 42 years in. I understand that and I hurt for her.

The options my brother and I have discussed are a condo near me or assisted living(I honestly don't think they need that yet, my dad and mom still drive well and I can't imagine them downsizing that much and I will not force my grandmother into a nursing home it would kill her quickly). I feel however that my father really needs close supervision. Living in a condo would not alleviate many of the stresses of being on their own. SO I have been thinking about the idea of them living with me, dh and the kids in a separate living situation on our property. It would mean selling this house as we can not add on and buying something else which is not a bad thing as both dh and I are not thrilled with where we live yet we are grateful that God has provided such an comfortable place for us. I guess in all honesty I want to take care of them. Putting them in a nursing home will not be an option for me until I can no longer take care of them physically or emotionally. my dad needs someone to take my mom and grandmother to doctor appointments, go to the dump, shovel, take care of finances, just take some of the burden off of him. My mother is a very pampered person and "let's" my dad do everything. We know 2 people who have these arrangements and it is working out very well(so far). Geez i better wrap this up! DH is against it and it is making me resentful because I know it is because he just doesn't want them here yet I know when his mother needs care he will probably come to me and want us to take her in. I come from a family where you take care of your parents, siblings etc... but his family just doesn't seem to have that belief. Everyone seems to go into a nursing home when "the time comes". Am I being selfish? Too hard on DH?

Parent of an Adult

Brandy — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 17:53:27 GMT

I am now officially the Mother of an adult. Our oldest child turned eighteen yesterday.

For those of you who have adult children, what things have you dealt with? I am wondering what new phases of parenting we are entering now.

Dave Ramsey

Linda Cecil — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 15:09:25 GMT

Did anyone read in this weeks stretcher on the Dave Ramsey site where a child can be claimed on income taxes until age 24? I can see it if the child is a full time student or a handicaped child but other than that I just don't see a parent supporting a child that old I feel that at age 24 they should have already flown out of the nest how are the children of today ever going to learn to stand on their own 2 feet if their parents are still supporting them at age 24 what is your oponion?

Is the age of retirement gone?

sunshinetreva — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 04:01:52 GMT

I did a bit of searching through the forums, but couldn't find this question addressed anywhere. I remember growing up and hearing my parents discuss retiring around age 55 or so. And I know now that my mom is too much like her own mother to retire that young. My grandmother is 80 and still works full time +. Part of the reason my grandma has always worked is that she never wants the scare of not having money available to her. She's set herself up now though that she could retire if she wanted to, but that fear is still there. I think it's part of the era in which she lived -- Great Depression; on a farm with 18 older siblings; etc. My dad though would love to retire. A lot of the reasoning would be his health. While his role in the business my parents own is quite reduced he still does a little bit of work each day. My mom says it's good for him to work as it gives him a purpose. I love him dearly, but she's right; he's the kind of person that would literally sit around and just waste away, so giving him something to do gives him a reason to wake up each day. And then there's me. And I'm even more like my mom and grandma! LOL My ponderings are not about those who cannot work b/c of whatever disability they may have, but about those who choose not to work or who would like to the choice in working or not working someday. But I'm wondering if we've hit a point where "retirement" is a thing of the past.

I've been reading other posts and news articles about how people are losing so much money in their retirement accounts and Social Security is drying up and so forth and I just wonder if we're the ones who won't know the ideal of retirement. I think that retirement may be more of a reduced work system; an older surviving parent living with a child and their spouse and children and assisting in the house in whatever way they can. Working until you simply can't work, even if it's just a part-time job. Don't get me wrong. I don't mean this in a negative way. I, personally, love to work. And I still think there are things that can be done in one's life despite the job that may be "in the way". So those with dreams to travel the world in their retirement could still travel the world even if they didn't retire. It would just be done differently.

Retirement didn't even exist years and years and years ago, but then people didn't live as long either.

Marital Help from a Five Year Old

Brandy — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 17:52:17 GMT

My child's latest is to help our marriage...

Our daughter: "Daddy, I think Mommy likes you, do you like her?"

My Husband: "Yes..."

Our daughter: "I am having a tea party, if you want to come, I can sit you next to Mommy so you can talk."

My Husband: "That's a good idea."

Our daughter: "Hey, it could be a blind date!"

My Husband: "That should be fun."

Our daughter: "I don't have blindfolds, I'll need them."

My husband: "Maybe Mommy and I can just close our eyes."

Our daughter: "I think that would work! See you there!"

Parenting children is always so interesting. Maybe my husband and I need to spend more time as a couple though?

What have you learned this year?

Mimi — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 22:47:10 GMT

There was a thread several months ago that asked what we've learned from the challenges we're facing.

I wasn't sure how to answer that at the time. Now I have an answer.

Before I got sick, I worked for non-profits. I enjoyed helping people. I did get frustrated though, because I felt like I poured all of my heart and soul and energy into it, and it felt like the impact was minimal.

Now that I'm on this side of things, I realize how much someone just TRYING to help me makes a difference to me. It matters if someone is kind to me and doesn't make me feel like I'm lazy because I can't work or a failure because I don't have money. A smile matters. One little bit of kindness can give me hope and keep me going another hour or another day until a possible long term solution comes around.

So I guess I've learned that as much as I've always wanted to make a huge difference and change the world, my small pathetic attempts do help. They can have a ripple effect so I shouldn't give up.

Death of pets

TizzyLizzy — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 19:06:41 GMT

First let me say that dd does rescue work of pet rats, many times keeping the worst cases for herself or just giving one a good, warm home until its (short) lifespan is up. She got started during college while working at a pet store where people would bring in unwanted pets and she got hooked on ratties. Just for the record, they're very clean, quiet and smart animals; they know their name and come when called; they easily bond to people and are very social creatures.

Anyway, she has lost 2 since she moved a few months ago, one very old patriarch that she'd had from the beginning and one this morning, a too-young mother that raised her babies long enough to wean them, then died quickly of respiratory problems to which they are prone. Coupled with a little homesickness, she's having a rocky time getting started on her own.

She was devastated and it got me to thinking of all the pets that come and go in our lives. I remember when our last dog died, I didn't even leave the house for several days; I didn't want people seeing me upset and possibly making light of our family's loss.

Pets leave a profound mark in our lives, and I thought I would devote a thread to anyone to share...and say a little prayer for my dd today if you think of it. She can't share with anyone that she's crying over a dead rat, so she just bucks up and goes on. But I know pet lovers will understand...Liz

"Over 50" Workers

Toni B. — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 20:12:43 GMT

Every year I pick up and read "What Color is Your Parachute" by Richard Bolles. He has a section for job seekers over 50. What are some of your observations about the "Over 50" employees? Feel free to mention good and bad. Are they helpful or a hinderance? What do they bring to the workplace? What have you learned as a result of working with an older employee?