Can You Help?

Re: Christmas gifts to "helpers" - not just the paper girl/boy

haverwench — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 23:42:21 GMT

The only service person I give a gift to is the postman. Technically, I probably shouldn't do that because he's a government employee, and they're not supposed to accept tips, but I think it's generally winked at. I would leave a little something for the trash collectors and meter readers if I could figure out how to get it to them, but short of watching out the window so I can waylay them when they show up, I'm not sure how. For the postman, I just leave a card in the mailbox labeled "For mail carrier."

I don't really have any other "helpers" to give to, because I don't employ any service people on a regular basis (other than doctors I see once or twice a year).

Re: Christmas gifts to "helpers" - not just the paper girl/boy

dlw — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 20:24:04 GMT

VN,

DS 's school has a residential program attached to it. Ds lives at home and is a day student only. Every year they send out a request to the parents asking them to donate money. Howver, they combine them with the residential programs funds I never give them anything. Preferring to give the money directly to benefit my sons staff.

Re: Christmas gifts to "helpers" - not just the paper girl/boy

dlw — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 20:18:52 GMT

Ds has a teacher, five aides, a gym teacher, 2 speech therapists, behavior therapist curriculm specialist and an OT. He also has three aides at home that rotate. A case manager, a team leader and an advocate. AN A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE...No just kidding.

The Class room teacher and the aides get gift cards. The rest get a small gift this year I got some cute mugs and hot chocolate, ornaments and chocolates.

Re: Christmas gifts to "helpers" - not just the paper girl/boy

Virginia Needlewoman — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 19:26:13 GMT

The nursing home sent out a letter last year and this year. They want money for the employees. There is not a separate fund for this and each employee would have to pay tax on the extra money that would be included in their paycheck.

I feel very strongly about this. The nursing home is owned by a major health service in my area.

I am not going to contribute to this fund. Sorry, but it is against the way I believe plus in one of her extremely lucid moments Mom told me not to do it.

The nursing home administration does not want homemade gifts of food.

I will most likely do something like bake brownies in a disposable pan and put the Andes baking chips on top to frost them.

Sorry if I sound cynical, but my time involved in baking something and the money involved for the ingredients plus the electricity are worth way too much to not be appreciated.

I will knock myself out baking for the beauty shop bunch as they truly appreciate homemade gifts.

I will buy large things of hand cream for Mom to have in her room for the aides and nurses to use. The nursing home has a lot of rules and regulations and I'm not permitted to give individual gifts. That's right.....I couldn't even give those sample sizes of hand cream to each nursing staff member.

Re: Christmas gifts to "helpers" - not just the paper girl/boy

Pat — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 18:27:35 GMT

karenteacher:
Give whatever gifts or tips you can afford and enjoy giving - and if other people don't appreciate it, that's their loss, and speaks more to their values and personalities than to your own.

Very well said. I agree with the rest of your post, too. Although I love giving gifts, if it was a chore or if I felt it took money away from more important things, I wouldn't do as much. Giving is an act of caring to me.

Re: Christmas gifts to "helpers" - not just the paper girl/boy

karenteacher — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 17:53:03 GMT

As a teacher, I work with a lot of people - and I give homemade gifts all the time - usually food I've made and put on paper plates wrapped in colored plastic wrap; being Jewish, I tend to go out of my way to avoid anything that looks Christmas-y - but lots of people give me gifts too, and I like to reciprocate. Last year found ceramic mini-loaf pans for $0.50 each and used those instead - but that's rare.

<rant>

It's all well and good to say that people prefer cash - of course most people prefer cash - but I can make food and other gifts (one year I made candles) for a lot less than giving an amount of cash I'd feel comfortable giving. It's one thing to give a gift that I spent little money and a reasonable amount of time on, but if I give cash (or a gift card) it's obvious what I spent, and I tend to feel that I have to give a larger amount that I might have to spend. If I take the time to make a gift by hand - whether it's food, a craft item, etc. - and someone doesn't appreciate it because they wanted cash... well, sorry, but I can't afford to give cash, and if they don't appreciate what they're given, they're welcome to not get a gift at all.

There are quite a few discussions on this board right now about who to tip, and how much to tip them, and who to give gifts to and how much the gifts should be worth - and whether or not the gift is what the person wants (cash, or something expensive) compared to what the giver can afford. The commercialization of the holiday season is absurd and excessive, and it has long since taken over the American culture (and a few others), and totally forgotten the actual reason for the holiday. This commercialization is why many Jews give major gifts at this season - Chanukah is a fairly minor festival, involving small gifts of food and change (that's where gelt - chocolate coins - came from) that just happens to fall near Christmas - but try explaining that to a 5 year-old who wants to know why Johnny up the street got presents and he didn't.

The rampant greed that occurs at this time of year - and especially the self-righteous begging for gifts and tips - never ceases to amaze and disgust me.

Give whatever gifts or tips you can afford and enjoy giving - and if other people don't appreciate it, that's their loss, and speaks more to their values and personalities than to your own.

Re: Christmas gifts to "helpers" - not just the paper girl/boy

Deborahmichelle — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 14:31:06 GMT

Dear Mrs Q, If you just gave something yuo baked to the staff members, wouldn't it cost almost $5 between the food & the thrift store basket or other wrapping? Why not make a wallet greeting card that's handsome, & then just insert a $5 bill. Yes, that's $60 for the whole staff, so maybe if you go to the bank & ask for a nickel roll for each of them ($2). You could then get a streamers roll in red or green, & wrap & wrap the roll. What do you think? Yours in Him, Deb

Re: Christmas gifts to "helpers" - not just the paper girl/boy

mrs_q — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 13:07:52 GMT

My mother in law is a personal care home which is a major financial stress to say the least. Last year I made little gift bags for the staff of 12. When we had a lady coming in to help me with my mother in law we exchanged gifts with her just like family. This year my husband has been on home healthcare and I figure I will make his wound nurse that comes once a week a cake. He is very nice man with a busy family & he would never take a gift cash.

This year when my husband was talking to one of the workers about the Christmas party at the personal care home she said the staff would like cash this year! Ok,,I am sorry I know some of the families there have a ton of money but we are not one of them. If it was a staff of five or six ok but 12!!!

Re: Christmas gifts to "helpers" - not just the paper girl/boy

kb999999 — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 04:04:56 GMT

Hi ... This year, all our 'helpers' received homemade chocolates and cookies.

Re: Christmas gifts to "helpers" - not just the paper girl/boy

gayla50 — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 00:15:31 GMT

we have a couple of people who work for us we always give them cash and a small gift

The lady who does my hair I give cash and at a gift of some kind

Re: Christmas gifts to "helpers" - not just the paper girl/boy

Pat — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 22:30:09 GMT

I gave a package of homemade goodies when I had service people to gift. Everyone seemed to enjoy them. Since I don't take the newspaper, the postman is about 9 individuals, I haven't had my hair cut in over a year, etc., I don't worry about it any more.

Christmas gifts to "helpers" - not just the paper girl/boy

Deborahmichelle — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 22:18:51 GMT

Dear All, As you know, I have 3 home health-care aides, & I live in an apt building with a manager with whom I am also friends. Year-round, in thrift stores, I look for suitable gifts. I give the aides 2 gifts a year, once for thier birthdays, & once for Christmas. The manager's Christmas gift I gave to her early -- I had no more room in the kitchen when I added in teh half-gallon jars for my Indian foods -- for a decorative huge pasta bowl (which I had never used). It was wwhite with raised eggplants, celery, tomatoes, & several other veggies in true colors. I will give her a book to put under her tree, though. As I write, my aide is working on teh Murphy bed, which is right next to the cabinet where I keep those intended gifts, so I can't describe them.

Anyhow, to what "helpers" -- not just the paper girl/boy -- do you give gifts @ Christmas? What do you give to them?

Yours in Him, Deb