I agree with you so much.  I never understood why people waited so long to agree that it works.  We are not perfect people and our kids are not perfect,  but now that they are mostly grown, it is so good to see others appreciate them for their individuality.  Each of our kids have their own personalities and I came to understand as they grew up that some of the blame and the honor was theirs to carry.  We can provide the books, the tutors, the classes and help in every other way, but they have to want it and earn it for themselves.  I have one with l/d but his job is to try.  I provide what he needs and he try's his best.  The outcome then is just the byproduct of our efforts.  Sometimes its good and sometimes its not, but we both tried.   With my grown and married daughter, who is a mother now herself,  I see some places I wish we had both tried harder but she is a wonderful wife and mom.  I guess love and baby powder do cover a multitude of sins.  I would not trade for either of them and we have great relationships now. 

Many people automatically go on the defensive when hsing is mentioned.  They usually give a host of reasons (all very valid) why it wouldn't work for them or their families, tell of the great district they live in or the great teacher their child is lucky to have, etc. Of course, most of them won't see the 'end result' that is our child-turned-adult - but close family will.  My own opinion is that both my sister and mil wanted in some small way to take at least a little credit for their grandkids/nieces/nephews and couldn't very well do that after bashing our educational choice all those years. So I guess a final, 'hey, it worked, sorry I groused at you guys all those years and told everyone how radical and weird you were...' was the only way to save face

Yep, we're not born blank slates and personality and genetics do tend to occasionally get in the way of our best intentions as parents.  I'll take the heat for any academic shortcomings, but they're on their own about sloppy rooms, stubborness and all those other things they inherited from their father...Liz
 

mary w.:

  We are not perfect people and our kids are not perfect,  but now that they are mostly grown, it is so good to see others appreciate them for their individuality.  Each of our kids have their own personalities and I came to understand as they grew up that some of the blame and the honor was theirs to carry.

This sounds like it comes from the lips (or fingers!) of a veteran homeschooler and mother.   It took me a few years to realize that my kids were not simply the sum total of my efforts.  They are them, straight from the womb!  This realization helps to take some of the anxiety out of messing them up by hsing.  I think that most of life is simply what we make of it, and hsing is no exception.  Thanks for this reassuring input.

My two cents for what it worth since my first is going into Kindergarten in Sept. I think there is guilt both ways.  If your child is failing in public school, it's your job to get help for your child via tutoring etc.  I have been thinking about homeschooling. It is a very good school my daughter is going to but if it doesn't work out, then I will homeschool. If my son has problems, same deal. She doesn't have any special needs except some speech help which will happen though the school. She mixes sounds like d  to g but it is not a big problem. She can make the proper sounds just doesn't do it. so practice practice. We seem to have a good homeschool program with classes like spanish, PE, family fun day each friday, student council, field trips, lending library. It isn't far from me.  Here is the website. http://www.sd40.bc.ca/nwhl/ .  Please let me know what you guys think. It is for k -8, there is different programs for high school. Sounds like more fun but of course you don't have the freedom of them being in school lol!  Apparently the school board is encouraging homeschooling because they make more money since they get a set amount of money per kid, homeschool or not.  I am not religious so that is not an issue.  I would need help! I told my friend that is a math wiz, he is my unpaid math tutor for life lol!  I barely passed algebra!  You get $1000 for approved materials etc.   My daughter is lovely but very headstrong so I think there will be lots of problems.  My husband could of used homeschooling for gr 12 because he didn't bother to go because he wasn't interested and barely graduated. He is very smart so that wasn't the issue but it is a different world today.  Your thoughts :)

I have homeschooled my dd from k-12, and my ds from k-9.  He is beginning the 10th grade.  He still struggles with reading because of his l/d, but we just tone down his work and keep trying.  He gets more and more every year.  He is very smart and is mechanically inclined.   He can also run almost any piece of construction equipment.  My dd is a mom now and considering h/s when her dd is ready.  If our kids were the sum total of MY efforts they would be in trouble.  Each has their own gift for learning.  One reads well one doesn't.  One is not good with math one does it in his head.  One can cook very well, one cooks from boxes.  They have both had pretty much the same life experiences, lots of travel, books, field trips, time spent with each parent, but they are both very different.  You will find that all children educated in any situation will have gaps in their education.  It does not matter what school they have gone to.  Each has their own likes and dislikes.  My dd loves the civil war period and is well informed in this study.  My ds loves the pioneer era and loves to build traps and learn the mountain man skills.  Our job is to help them find THEIR WAY.  Learning never stops, if it did I would not be on this computer, because I am really not good at it.   Hope this eases your fears, we all have them but I also know that no one loves MY kids or KNOWS them better than ME, or yours better than you.

 very well said!

I can tell you how and why we did homeschooling.

 Our four children started out in the public school system and we moved out of the district. My oldest was in the gifted program, which in the new district was non existant. The new school was two years behind the former school. My daughter's 3rd grade math book was now my daughter's 5th grade math book. It just spiraled from there. My husband and I had tossed around pulling them out and homeschooling them. Things weren't going well for us and we were already thinking about moving, either back to the location we left or some place else. Then the morning  of 9-11, we decided to pull them out and homeschool them. We were quite suprise what we found that day. Our son had been fenced in and wasn't allowed to see the board and was screamed at when he did. My husband and I just stool their in amazement. No wonder he would cry when he picked up a pencil. The teacher actually cheered when she hear he was leaving for good. We knew then our choice was the best for the children. Heck, the school bus would choose when they would come and pick up the children. It was a nightmare.

But, there was a reason everything happens. It wasn't much later that my mother in law ended up with a triple by pass and we moved in with her to help her recoup. Homeschooling gave the children a chance to do things and see things they would of never have. Example, the cardiologist who explained my mother in law's surgery took the time to answer my children's questions about how the heart worked. How often do you have a health class taught by a chief surgeron? It also gave us a chance to find a new home without worrying about them jumping schools and the chaos we were enduring of job changes, etc. The children were a blessing and were able to help their grandma with all kinds of things and as her health returned she just couldn't believe she could of done it without them.

Yet, we did find a home and when the children returned to school they weren't far off from where they should of been. That's considering they were two years behind for a year. Now, I am please to say they are all in the top of their classes and doing post secondary education. My son actually is looking very forward to school this year. It's not easy to homeschool but it has it's advantages. The inter net offers more and more items, classes, and ideas than when I did it. But it's a wonderful solution to a lot of problems. I am glad I did it when we did and I would do it again if we felt the need. As always you try to do what is best for your children.

Agentsee

Our family chose to homeschool for several reasons.  Our dd was born with bilateral hip dysplasia.  Which means her hips were dislocated at birth.  She was in the hospital for nearly 21/2 yrs.  When she came home everyone said she needed to be with other kids.  We put her in mdout sometimes, but she hated it.  Then we put her in pre K.  Her 21 year old teacher was married at the beginning of the year and divorced by the end of the year.  She new more going in than she did in the end.  She actually had forgotten some of what she had learned.  She new her colors, counting to 20, her right from her left and her ABC's.  She also new several songs.  We had to back up from here and review for the summer.  Then we found out we were expecting and at the same time we were already caring for my mother-in-law.  (She has lived with us 16 years this July.)  We live outside the city limits, so our little one had to be on the bus at 6:25 in the a.m. which picked up at the little country store by our home (about 4 blocks).  I had just heard about a homeschooling on the radio two wks before school started.  There was a convention that weekend.  My husband was not keen on it in the beginning, but he did not think I could mess up Kinder. so he let me try it.  He decided 1st grade was just learning to read and our dd was almost there so he agreed to one more year.  Second grade went the same as first.  By third grade he was completely sold.  When his work took him out of town we went with him.  When his Mom needed us we were there.  His Dad came to live with us after that and he stayed until he entered a n/home.  He had Alz.  We were so happy that our little guy got to spend his first 6 years with his papa, before he forgot who he was.  The relationship was one my 15 yo still misses but was glad he had the chance.  We have had amazing trips, time with family and friends, relationships that would have been missed if they had to be in a certain classroom everyday.  My children were required 20 hours per month in community service. (Food Bank, Nursery at Church, mowing grass at church, helping with a meal at church, mowing grass for our neightbors, stacking firewood for friends, or anything they did to serve someone else).  It brought our family so close together.  My married dd lives 5 minutes away and calls almost daily and still goes on fieldtrips with her brother.  (Now with a stroller for her dd)

That's A Stretcher!

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Hi! I am a veteran homeschooler who has "retired" from that and moved on to a new stage of life. The job is self limiting, after all, and my youngest child has graduated. I have gone back to work now as a substitute teacher's assistant in the local schools. I have seen traditional schooling at all grade levels. That gives me a little different perspective and I am not sorry to have home schooled.

 I homeschooled for fourteen years. Some of the hardest issues for me to face were the doubts. I wondered if I was doing the right thing for my children. I wondered how they would fit in socially, I wondered if I could prepare them academically for college. Money was usually an issue, too, but not the main one. So many people in my life told me I was nuts. My sister in law, some of my daughter's friends moms, who happened to be teachers. And probably more than that. To top it all off, the local homeschooling group was mostly members of one of the local churches and we were not members of that church. So at our church, we were the only homeschoolers, and in the homeschooling group, we were the only Catholics. We live in a little town miles from nowhere. It made it hard sometimes. We overcame some of the loneliness by becoming very involved in the music community.  Having something in common with other people counted for a lot.

The academics? We simply kept going. I knew my children were receiving a superior education by our contact with pupils in the local school district. I hesitate to apply the word "student". In my eyes, a true student is one who loves learning and goes after it with a passion. In school, even the honors kids mostly see learning as a chore to be completed. High school is the gateway to college and it felt like making the homeschooling decision all over again. Our local high schools would only accept credits for work done in an accredited program. We tried that and did not like it at all. So, once the decision was made to homeschool for high school, it was set in concrete. With both girls, the high school decision involved them. They both chose to homeschool, but added the music program at the local high schools. The older one did Choir. The younger one did Choir and band.

 We sent our kids to the local community college to ease their transition into the traditional classroom, as a final preparation for college. My older child left the traditional classroom at the end of third grade because she was extremely unhappy there and the younger one only went to school for music once she was older. She did not even do preschool.  They each have excelled in college (whew, that worry taken care of). The older one has been in "Who's Who in American Colleges" for two years now. Her college has 4500 students, they nominate eighty or so and about 47 get in. The younger one is in "Who's Who in American High Schools." She leaves for college in about two weeks, having completed about sixteen credit hours at the local community college during her senior year in high school. She is pursuing her passion, filmmaking. So we shall see how that turns out.

 The things you hear about homeschoolers from the veteran homeschooling moms are all true, though. I worried so much and it was really useless energy spent. The girls are academically well prepared. They are the academic stars in their college classes, consistently turning in "best of class" work. They have learned so much, are excited about their learning, and have each found college professors who are pleased to have them and have taken an interest in them.

Socially? They seem to be well adapted, as are most homeschoolers. They are able to converse with lots of different kinds of people, from babies to senior citizens. They step away from their peers who are involved in drinking, drugs, and promiscuity, without even worrying about whether or not there will be social ramifications. They are not afraid to be a little different. They generally choose other "students" as their friends. They are both very intelligent and highly creative. They have each been employed and their employers tell me that they are excellent. They work hard, learn quickly,  and are reliable and pleasant to be around.

 The other tough part, which I never fully resolved, was the time crunch. Homeschooling is a lot of work! But it is well worth it. I wish I had not spent so much energy worrying.