Wow, Babs. I had heard of people having issues back then and even into the 90s but I haven't personally known anyone who seriously faced it. Was it hard on you and your family to homeschool when society and the law were so unsupportive?

Wow Babs, you were really in the groundbreaking years!  It sounds as if you were very dedicated. 

 I had to laugh when I saw my last post and then looked down at Brandy's.  Both began with ...Wow.  I guess that really sums it up!

 Hehe, I think it does.

I remember having a lot of grief from family and friends over our decision. I remember having very little support and struggling to find info and answers. I didn't really worry about legal trouble and I am glad for that.

 I'm also glad for no legal troubles.  I always made sure I did everything to the letter in NY.  I also did not let the kids go outside to play, except during lunch time, until after 3:PM to try and avoid issues with neighbors.  We also rarely went to the grocery store until late afternoon.  NY had potential for trouble because each individual school district is responsible for their own homeschoolers.  If you had a difficult administrator, you could (and some did) have problems.  I feel lucky that we bypassed any problems at all.

I was quite surprised that we had no family issues over homeschooling whatsoever.  I expected some level of dispute and was prepared to combat it over Sunday dinner where we made "the announcement".  They barely quit chewing!  No big deal at all!   Usually my advise to young families who are breaking the news to the folks is to remind them that you all love these children and want their best.  If for some reason homeschooling doesn't work out, public school is always happy to have them!  It is not an unchangeable decision. 

 One question we have always gotten is, "how long do you plan on doing this?"  Ever the smart alec, I love to reply, "Well, we're aiming for at least next week; we have a field trip planned!"  That usually ends it.  You never know what life will throw you, so we've tried to be flexible.  I know many kids who decided to try school in 7th or 8th grade.  Most of them went back to homeschooling after a year, but not all of them.  Personally, I never thought it was a good idea (I've seen it happen and it isn't pretty) to tell a teenager that they have to be homeschooled.  It makes for a pretty challenging family situation.  That's just my opinion.  Our sons had absolutely no interest in going to school.  One is an introvert and one is an extrovert, and both have wanted to be homeschooled. 

Pat- a little ways back you mentioned Raymond Moore. I loved his books. They were so encouraging, research based, and common sense. I got a chance to meet Raymond and Dorothy Moore at a conference they gave in Illiniois in 1988/89. There were only thirty or so people there. They impressed me as being wonderful, gentle people with true servant's hearts.

 The decision to homeschool was difficult for me. I have a bunch of public school teachers in my family. I first heard of it when Dr Dobson interviewed Raymond Moore on his Focus on the Family program. My oldest daughter was two at the time. I researched it, and was seriously considering it, but I chickened out and sent her to kindergarten at a private school.

By the end of third grade, she was miserable in school. We had moved to an area that did not have a private school and she had spent two years in the public schools. Her academics were beginning to lag, but her spirit was being crushed. She was crying, biting her nails, chewing her hair, having stomach aches. Her head was bowed, her eyes were cautious. So we knew something had to change. We became homeschoolers.

The reaction in the community felt intense. I had been very active in the schools, volunteering in the classroom and library, serving on committees, fundraising. I had people walking across the street to avoid speaking to me. I got crank phone calls. A couple of ladies told me that they had hoped that their children could be friends with mine, but that homeschooling would prevent that from occuring. I joined the local homeschooling group, but they were all from a certain evangelical church and we are Catholics, so we did not really fit in there. I remember it as being a difficult, but also exciting time.

 Six months into homeschooling, my daughter showed radical signs of improvement. Her demeanor was so changed that one of her teachers did not recognize her. Her head was up. Her eyes were shining. She was laughing again. The negative behaviors were gone. The academics began to improve.

As the girls grew up, they were noted by several leaders of the community. We live in a small town, and everybody knows everybody else. My younger daughter has been especially active in the music community, which includes the assistant superintendent, several of the local principals, and the music teachers. The Assistant Superintendent of Schools was in our home, along with his family, for her graduation party. So were several music educators, a couple of dentists and several leaders in the business community. These are all people she regards as her friends. They marvel at her intelligence, creativity, musical ability, and high moral standards. And they also note that she is just a very nice to everyone type of young lady. (so much for not being properly socialized, LOL.)

 So, the initial decision to home school was made because I did not know what else to do. We continued to homeschool because we saw the fruits of the homeschooling and they were sweet.

While we did not home school our son and he has now graduated from public school, in looking back if we had it to do over again we would not send him to public school. We would find some other educational option for him. He is a very bright boy but we feel that being in the public school system stifled him in many ways and aided in his struggling to meet his full potential academically. My husband and I have both commented that if we were raising another child now and getting ready to start the school years over we would do a lot of things different educationally. Public school seems to (at least where we are ) expect children to be of the "cookie cutter" variety, and because of this they approach education as a "one size fits all" method. I cannot count the times that we went to school to do battle because our son was a "hands on" learner and had gotten in trouble for wanting to be involved in the learning process or for getting into trouble for asking too many questions. I guess our clue should have been when we received a note from the teacher in kindergarten stating "your son really wants to read. But I do not have time to teach him or any other child in the class to do that". On that note we taught him to read on our own. My mom found some *** and Jane books for us and we went from there. He graduated from high school last year and is in college now. I think we probably could have done better by him if we had done the education ourselves, but hind site is 20/20.  At least when we have grandchildren we can relate our experience and potentially help with a better educational outcome for them.

My compliments to all of you who have taken on the task of educating your children at home.

I homeschooled two of my sons for two years when they were in 5th and 6th grades.  Previously, they had been in public school and had done very well.  Our reason for pulling them out of public school was to teach them in depth what we believed and why we believed it before they went into junior high.  We never intended to homeschool them through high school, so we kept in touch with what was being taught in local public schools and made sure they received adequate instruction for re-admittance.  We used Christian materials, with a big emphasis on reading.  I did keep attendance records and all of their work and had them tested at one of the local universities, probably more for my benefit than any educational authorities.  When it came time for re-admittance to public schools, I was apprehensive as to what kind of testing my sons would have to undergo.  The counselor, who knew me and our family, said, "Ma'am, if you tell me that your sons are in seventh grade, I will allow them to enter that grade until they prove that they cannot function on that level."  So.....we never had a bit of problem with local authorities and my sons went on to graduate from the local school system.  Miss Paula in Texas

 Hi Musicmom, I would have loved to meet Dorothy and Raymond Moore!  Their books really changed my perspective so much, and I have the highest regard for them.   I'm glad you stuck it out with homeschooling. It sounds like you made a great choice that obviously didn't come without challenges.  It's funny, you mentioned the homeschool group in your area.  In the small town we live in, there are two groups. On has a strict set of bylaws that you must sign and an extensive doctrinal statement.  The other is simply there to support homeschoolers.  I am an evangelical Christian myself, but I find I just don't fit in with the very exclusive group.  Yes, I could agree to their bylaws and doctrine, but they just aren't the nicest group of ladies.  The other group is full of nice women from a variety of backgrounds, but our kids have never known which kids were from protestant families, catholic families or agnostic families.  Those topics just didn't get brought out on the playground.  We moms have gotten along well and enjoyed each others support because that was our sole purpose for being there.   I really loved that your daughter was able to be so well integrated into your community.  It is always nice when educators really get to know homeschooled kids.  I have never seen it as "us against them".   We all have the same goals, we just have chosen different routes to get there.  Recently, when I was asked about out decision to hs,  I told the husband and his wife that hsing isn't necessarily the best education and it certainly isn't the worst, but that it was the best lifestyle choice for our family.  I also have a musical child and I think it allowed him so much more time and latitude to really throw himself into his passions.  My older son was not super creative, but he loved politics and spent every afternoon doing some of his homework while listening to an AM political radio call-in program.  He decided to go to a tech school for radio and has spent a couple of years doing the news on air at a small station.  It isn't the most lucrative career, but he does enjoy his work.  He was a boy who could have been lost through the cracks at public school and we are all very glad that we made the choice to hs. 

Juardo, thank you for your kind words. Every family is different and every situation is different. Homeschooling is not for everyone. I am sure you did the very best you knew how to do for your children. The school system is, first and foremost, a system. There is a lot that goes on that is correct from a system point of view, but perhaps not from a personal point of view. I am speaking from personal experience from going back into the classroom after homeschooling. When you are working with twenty or more children, it is far different from working with just a few, so yes, they do teach to the middle for the most part. You teach to the middle, using hands on as much as possible (although that is not always possible.) A few fall behind and you need to do remediation. A few get ahead, so you try to do enrichment for them. You have to have rules that a home school does not require, such as bells for recess, lunch, and moving on to a different subject. No talking in class. Have to ask the teacher to leave the room.

Mimipaula, sounds like you did a really good job with the time you spent in homeschooling. Early adolescence is an important age for character development.

 Ladyofthe house, I wish I had had your homeschooling group. It sounds wonderful! I was told by one of the other homeschooling moms that they drew up a doctrinal statement in honor of our joining the group. Oh well! We fit in in other places. DD18 was only a preschooler for the years we were involved in that group, up through maybe the second grade? After that, we got too involved with the things we were doing at home and in the community. I made a couple of good friends and the rest have faded into distant memory. You brought out one of the biggest benefits of homeschooling, the ability to pursue one's passions. It sounds like your sons had the opportunity to do just that. Another is the fact that you can adapt the course of study to the child, not vice versa. Raymond Moore talks a great deal about that. I cannot emphasize how much I liked the Moores. If you have ever met anyone with a true servant's heart, you would recognize that characteristic in each of them. Dorothy was a small woman, but spoke softly and with conviction. Dr Moore was, at that time anyway, on the tall side of average and very, very well spoken and gracious.