Dh and I are considering selling our house.   We want to do foster care, but while this house alot of space for us...we wouldn't want to add kids to the mix, and financially we can not do the changes that would need to be made.

However, if we sold, we would have enough equity to pay off  the current mortgage, ALL our other debts, and still have $11000 to use as a down payment on a new home.    This takes into account paying all the closing cost and associated fees, as well as selling $10,000 under current appraisal value.  We then could move thirty-five minutes North of here where housing is alot cheaper.   For only $5000-$10,00 more than our current mortgage, we could have about 600-800 sq ft more, a second/third bathroom, and 2-3 additional bedrooms.   Dh's commute would be shorter and we would be closer to family.  We also would be in a place to do foster care (we hope to adopt through it).   The point of this isn't just a bigger house....but mostly to be able to do foster care.....we want children desperately and it opens the door to adoption for us without nearly the financial stress of a normal adoption.

 Our other option is to stay here, pull our equity out to finance an adoption, and just live with the issues.  Only one bathroom, a dining area that at MOST will fit four people (that's a squeeze).  We then would have an increased mortgage ( by about 30000) and our current debt load, instead of a slightly increased mortgage and no other debt load

What do you think we should do? 

I think it sounds like you have thought it through.   How is the market for selling houses at the moment in your area?   Which family are you going to be closer too?   Not too sound snarky but from what you have written about your inlaws, distance may be a good thing.

Best of luck to you.

 The market is slowww.....However, we wouldn't even start looking for a new house until this one was under contract.

We would be moving closer to his family....but also closer to the family of our own choosing (friends), and my grandparents. 

 I would go to the banks in the area where you want to move and discuss their mortgages. How to be preapporved, how much they are wanting for a down payment, Would you have enough? Babs

I think you're making a very careful decision, and that's a good thing.  If you have the credit and the downpayment of 20%, then now really is the perfect time to buy.  Its really is a buyer's market, and seller's are willing to meet your demands much more easily to get their home sold.

Also, with foster care will you need for the child to have their own bedroom to be approved? I'm not sure, just a thought.

Wow Amy!  Sounds like you guys are making great progress towards your goal!

I think that both ways sound like they can work; depending on what you ultimately want.  Moving sounds like a great option in that it would clear up some debt and give you more house for the money.  But there are other factors to consider as well (namely emotional ones-how tied are you to the area you live in now?) and also the things others have mentioned regarding down payment for the new house and such.

If you can become parents and debt free at the same time, I say go for it!!  Sounds like a good plan.  Certainly, selling in this market can be very tough, but if you are willing to wait it out as long as it takes then sounds like it could be a good plan.

Good luck with everything!  Can't wait to hear your progress!

Jen

 As far as getting approved for a new mortgage, we would have no issues whatsoever.  We spoke with our mortgage broker this morning.   We would only have 18% down if we sold right away, but the longer it took to selll, the more we would have.

 We finally decided to go ahead and do it....we have officially listed!

Congrats and good luck!