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Rant: friends who beg then blow their own $$$$-any suggestions?

Last post 07-15-2008 11:01 AM by gabbiecat. 29 replies.
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  • 07-09-2008 3:37 PM

    Rant: friends who beg then blow their own $$$$-any suggestions?

    I hate to rant but my blood pressure is thru the roof on this one:

    I have a friend who called yesterday and said "my food stamps don't kick in until the 15th, and we are out of food. Can I  "shop" in your freezer?" I told her to let me look in it to see if i can spare some things. While chatting, I ask her what they did for the fourth, and she says "We had a cookout with about 6 or 7 people." 

    I have been out of work for 3 weeks due to school and the cafe being closed for vacations (mom and pop joint so I was automatically on vacation too) and jsut went back to work monday.

    Needless to say, I told her no and to budget the stamps better and while she was at it, try to get a job.

    And what makes this worse : she called in a take out order at my job today!!!!!!!!!Angry

    Any suggestions on how to handle her????

    Lynn


  • 07-09-2008 4:20 PM In reply to

    • Walt34
    • Top 75 Contributor
    • Joined on 12-17-2007
    • WV eastern panhandle
    • Posts 1,400

    Re: Rant: friends who beg then blow their own $$$$-any suggestions?

    Tell her to grow up and accept responsibility for herself?

    Or, more tactfully, simply say that you were about to call her and ask for food.

    Officially Recognized Stretchpert in Money Management
  • 07-09-2008 4:29 PM In reply to

    Re: Rant: friends who beg then blow their own $$$$-any suggestions?

    This is a family friendly website so....  LOL 

    Seriously though, I would be firm but polite and say, "I'm sorry.  I don't have anything to spare right now."

    Officially Recognized Stretchpert in the General forum
  • 07-09-2008 4:30 PM In reply to

    • bluesong
    • Top 200 Contributor
      Female
    • Joined on 06-20-2008
    • Portland, Oregon
    • Posts 260

    Re: Rant: friends who beg then blow their own $$$$-any suggestions?

    For me, I guess it would depend on the circumstances. Is this person a "good friend" or just a casual aquaintaince? Does she run out of food every month or is this the first time this has happened? Maybe the cookout was a potluck kind of thing and other people brought food. Does she have children to feed?

    I have had this happen to me a few times with close friends, and I have helped them out with some extra spare food I had. But I also know people that would ask and I would say no, because I knew that they traded their food stamps for cash to buy alcohol and drugs. Honestly, these people should not have been receiving food stamps at all.

    I don't know about your state, but in Oregon the food stamp program  the day they are effective is based on the last number of your SS # , so everyone would have theirs by the 10th of the month. Sounds kind of suspicious if she is telling you the 15th.

    I guess my suggestion would be to direct her to some food banks in your area for help. JMO.




    .
  • 07-09-2008 4:48 PM In reply to

    Re: Rant: friends who beg then blow their own $$$$-any suggestions?

    We just had a similar thread called Needy and Hinting Friend.  Here is the link, as there are lots of good suggestions there.

    http://community.stretcher.com/forums/t/5002.aspx

    Lynnea the Dogmom
  • 07-09-2008 5:17 PM In reply to

    Re: Rant: friends who beg then blow their own $$$$-any suggestions?

    Dear Bluesong & All, Food Stamps kick in on ANY day of the month, depending on when your application was approved, at least in California.  Yours in Him, Deb

    Officially Recognized Stretchpert in Government & Charity Assistance

    Proud guardian of Heart, a black female Miniature Poodle, a Psychiatric Service Dog

    Enter His gates with thanksgiving, His courts with praise; give thanks to Him, bless His Name. (Psalm 100)

    Yours in thrift, Deborah



  • 07-09-2008 5:26 PM In reply to

    Re: Rant: friends who beg then blow their own $$$$-any suggestions?

    swedluv:
    Needless to say, I told her no and to budget the stamps better and while she was at it, try to get a job.

    That's what I would have said based on what she was doing.

    Somewhat earlier on a news broadcast, I saw people who complained that they couldn't stretch their food stamp $ for a month... I was looking at what they bought and had in their cart. 90% of them had high sugared name brand boxed cereals (a double box). They were buying meat bulk but stuff like steaks and high priced ones. TV dinners and pre-frozen foods.... and I could understand why they couldn't stretch it and would go "hungry" for 2 weeks. 

    Tell her that there are food pantries if she's that desperate. 

     

    Wisconsin also bases their distribution of FS on SS#, and that varies the time. I get mine on the 13th of the month. (Or if on weekend, it's the next business day).

    I'm not confused. I'm just well mixed. ~Robert Frost
    Laziness may appear attractive, but work gives satisfaction. - Anne Frank
    I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

    Married my Blessing 10-16-10 :)
    Became an Auntie 12-10-10 :)
  • 07-09-2008 5:33 PM In reply to

    Re: Rant: friends who beg then blow their own $$$$-any suggestions?

    I did some digging, and it wasn't potluck, although I would feel alot better if it was. She and I have helped each other through the years, but she is getting more careless with her money with the attitude that someone will always bail her out. I told her to check Christian Ministries (our food bank) and she said she was just there last month. You are only allowed every 3 months. I hate I feel this way, but I am beginning to believe she wants a hand out not a hand up!

    Thanks for your thoughts!!!

    Lynn


  • 07-09-2008 6:02 PM In reply to

    Re: Rant: friends who beg then blow their own $$$$-any suggestions?

    I was going to suggest a food pantry. If Christian Ministries has a limit then there is nothing wrong with setting your own boundaries as well. My guess is she's probably trying to "shop" from everyone she knows at this point. Maybe when enough people tell her NO, she'll figure out how to handle her money better.
    Officially Recognized Stretchpert in Stages of Life
  • 07-09-2008 7:11 PM In reply to

    Re: Rant: friends who beg then blow their own $$$$-any suggestions?

    I might give her something very basic - some rice and a small bag of beans or maybe a can of tuna and some pasta.   I sure hope she would not expect your frozen special occasion steaks or the $$ convenience food.

    You teach people how to treat you -- Dr Phil
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