Hi,  My name is Jen, and this is my first post.  I am so glad I found this site, I hope to learn very valuable information here.

I have a big problem and I am hoping some of you can help me find a solution.

I will just be brief in my story here, but keep in mind that there is alot of history behind this accounting, that I don't have time to share with all of you.

But, this is my problem-- I have racked up credit card debt without my husband's knowledge.  He knew about some of the debt and we were working through that already, but this past year, I have added about 6000.00 more that he didn't know about.  I went to him about six weeks ago and confessed this to him.  I knew that he wouldn't take it well, and I didn't blame him.  His response was of course to stop giving me my monthly budgeted money and he has since taken over everything.  I am fine with that too, I knew he would need to have to figure out a plan.

 The problem is, is that it is affecting our marriage ALOT, and I have been doing everything I can to work with him and try to find a solution.  

I guess, I would like some advice on a couple of things-- One, if any of you know of a good way to get this debt paid off as quick as possible, either a loan, or a consolidation, etc.  I also am trying to find some legitimate work that I can do at home.  I have been looking for almost a month now, and frankly, I am overwhelmed, just trying to sort through what is legit, and what isn't.  I would really love to find something that would enable me to generate an income so that I can get this paid off myself, so that my husband doesn't have to carry this burden.

Another thought, just because I am sure some of you will ask, is that it really isn't possible for me to work outside of the home right now.  We have four children under the age of 11 and I have stayed home with them the entire time.  I don't have a college degree, so consequently, finding a job that I would still make money on, after daycare expenses is next to impossible.  I hope to be able to go to school in the next couple of years to pursue a nursing degree, but that is out of the question right now.  So now you understand why I need to find something that I can do from home.

I would appreciate any advice or insights any of you have to offer.  Thanks for reading my story. 

Welcome Jen... you'll find lots of support on here!

Is there a way to work part-time at night so dh could watch the kids? It would bring in some money until you can find something more substantial and avoid daycare costs. As far as it affecting your marriage... is there a person you can talk to that's 3rd party? (i.e. clergy, or if insurance can cover, couples counseling) 

I wish you luck since I have been through something similar... 

 Thank you for your reply. 

As far as working part-time, it is next to impossible because my dh has a very demanding job as a design electrical engineer at a nuclear plant.  So, he is always working on projects with deadlines and every year and a half or so, works the outage, which is basically, working about 20hrs a day for 4 to 6 weeks straight,with maybe two days off in that time, if he is lucky.  So, his schedule isn't reliable, as everyday for a couple of weeks he is able to get home before 6, and then he will be working until 10 or later for weeks at a time.  So, it is imperative that I am able to stay home.  That is why I am researching work from home jobs and businesses.

I have been talking to my pastor alot about things, there has been a long history with my dh and I and my pastor has always been willing to listen and help when he can.  It is just a hard situation right now.  Although, there were many reasons that led up to me accrueing this debt, it was still wrong, and I don't want to have him take on this burden.  So, I will just keep plugging along and trying to find the right fit for me.

Can you do daycare or after-school care?  Take care of a couple of older kids for the summer?  Can you type and are you near a college - perhaps you could type/proof papers for students.  Can you take transcription?  Pet sit?  Be a secret shopper?  When school starts up again, are your kids old enough that you could get a part-time job while they're at school? 

www.daveramsey.com

Listen to Dave's radio program whenever you want via the internet link at his website.  

Read the book, "The Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey.  If your local public library doesn't have it ask them to borrow it from another library for you.

Prayer.  

Jen,

Do you have what some call an emergency fund or reserve fund set aside so that emergency spending can be done with cash not credit? Getting away from spending with the card is crucial.

Setting a budget and spending within that plan is important as well.

Cut expenses that can be lowered or dropped completely and put as much money as you can towards debt payments. Many like the snowball approach of paying off the debts by smallest to largest. With snowballing, you select the smallest debt and pay as much as you can towards it while paying minimum payment to the others. When that one is paid, the extra money goes to the next smallest.

Jen-

I'm so sorry that you are going through this.  Know you are not alone, MANY people are in your exact situation. 

My hubby had racked up LOTS of CC debit before we got married.  He also made the situation worse by not paying them on time or not paying them at all, so needless to say the intrest rate on them all were skyhigh!  He used Christian Credit Councelors and they helped him get all the debt payed off within a year and a half.  They called the CC compaines on his behalf and negotiated lower intrest rates so that the payments he was making were actually going to the principal to some point and not the ridiculous intrest rates (some were 27%!!!).  If you are looking into debt consolidation, I would recommend looking into this company as he had a really good experience with them.

I also agree, you need a reserve.  If your debt was due to helping offset emergency or unplanned purchases then having a reserve is essential.  We've paid off our credit cards in full several times but always have a balance back on them within six months because we didn't have a "slush" fund.  Needless to say that has now changed and we have one in place (not as big as I'd like, but we're working on that). 

Can you audit your monthly expenses and cut back?  Shop around for auto insurance, change a cell phone plan, bundle services (phone and internet) or cancel things (cable, netflix, newspaper)?  The money you save by doing this will in essence help to pay off your debt you accrued if you take that savings and apply it to your CC balance. 

Can you clear out clutter and sell it?  Craigslist or eBay is great for this.  I've done this in the past when we needed to make some extra money and have made several hundred dollars.  Also, since you have kids check to see if there are any childrens resale events in your area and if so participate in them.  I've made $400 at one sale alone selling stuff my kids no longer were going to use or outgrew.  There is a HUGE market for this.  The company I use has three resale events in MN, here is their website:  www.jbfsale.com

Hang in there!  One of the hardest things for me to remember when I find myself in financial woes is that we usually didn't get that way overnight and it'll take some time to get it fixed!

Heather in CA

Jen-

Hello from a fellow MN-en. Was wondering if you were in the cities, I have worked at a health club daycare the past 9 years, you can bring your kids.   Time to cut back where you can and get the budget down as low as possible to pay the debts.  I hope dh is working with you, not just still mad.  

Keep us posted!  

Hi Jen,

Dave Ramseys book is great, get it from the library and if they don't have it, they will get it for you.  There is a solution called debt snowballing and you can go to a website called whatisthecost.com or something like that and put in all your bills and then choose if you want to pay off the highest interest first, that is best usually, or the lowest balance.  It will give you a clear idea of when they will be paid off.  Just type snowball debt in google to find out all about it.  It is a plan!

If you do those two things, you are able to show your hubby you are making a genuine effort and maybe that will smooth the troubled waters.  But hey, i am not a therapist and I am not married, so please... don't take my advice as cut in stone!

Good luck.  

Two web sites for you to check out.....wahm.com  this is a web site that talks about work at home opportunities, it has a message board to discuss these  companies & lots of good info.

Also along the lines of Dave Ramsey, check out llnoe.com.....it's a message board for people doing Dave Ramsey's total money make over.  Lots of good info here!!!