I have a  huge amount of debt.  I didn't get there over night, I got there by:

buying things for my daughter she didn't need, doing therapy shopping for me, trying to keep up with the Jones, lieing to myself about my real financial status, and all the above plus more.

Now... I am paying the piper.  It is hard for me to stay motivated and I am wondering how you all stay the course! 

 I think it's easier if you set short term goals, then allow yourself a small treat when the goal is met. That sounds like kindergarten psychology, but it works on adults, too. If you don't have a bill you can pay off in 3 or 4 months, look at the balance and decide what's reasonable amount to pay down within three month, then pad that just a little and go for it. When you've met your goal, give yourself a little treat, take a deep breath and start another challenge. 

This may sound strange but take a long hard look at the people you and your daughter hang around with. It helps to have one good friend who can help you stay on track and not contribute to your delinquency. Its easy to become discouraged if you aren't surrounded by like minded people with the same goals. And its human nature to make comparisons between ourselves and others. Another thing is to Be Aware of what you are feeling when you have the urge to "therapy shop". Also consider your upbringing. Did you grow up in poverty? How did your parents deal with money? For example, I grew up in poverty and my sister who was much older than me used to say things "She doesn't deserve that" if someone gave me something. To this day (I'm 52) I still have trouble buying something extravagant or special and I have an awful time accepting gifts.

I agree with Pat.  Having a short term goal that you know you can achieve is easier than one that feels overwhelming.  I tend to get really discouraged if I look at the overall big picture, but if I break it down into managable pieces I can handle it better.

Shellia

I agree.  You need to keep an eye on the big picture but I would go nuts just looking at the end amount. short term goals with low cost treats.   like a mortgage, big amount but as long as the balance goes down each month it is going to be gone someday. 

Being proactive about your finances and spending is great. that is why we got into homestay students. keep learning. eyes and ears open.  I was reminded recently  why that I need to keep money out of site to not spend it to start an emergency fund.   I read about someone having the same issue in their blog (they are going though the same struggle as you)  having access to the money, you spend it.  She opened an ing direct account and put it there. I did the same thing.   I know we are the type of people that need to do that but you forget.  

Baby steps goes a long way. Try gradually changing to a more practical lifestyle. Buy cheaper alternatives, fix a weekly spending budget, etc. Crashing can cause withdrawals so try to do it one at a time. Goodluck!

Try reading "The Tightwad Gazette", I find it to be very motivational.

Hi There,

I love to shop.  I like acquiring things and finding gems.  It makes me happy.  I'm guessing you feel the same.  I can share something I did when I was saving every penny in order to move.  I would allow myself $20 per weekend to blow at garage sales.  It's amazing what I would come home with.  I got the satisfaction of going shopping, but without the bill.  Since I was getting "new" things, it kept me motivated to continue saving my other money. 

 I hope that helps.

Karoline

Thank you everyone for the great tips.  Karoline, that is exactly what I have done.  Garage sales.  But 20.00 a weekend is 80.00 a month.  I know your point, I will just have to give myself less or go less often.   ;-)  Great minds think alike!

There are some great ones this weekend!  But do I really need more junk?  I think on one hand I am just feeding my habit.   heavy sigh... what to do, what to do.

lol

 

Thanks for these ideas!  I put Tightwad Gazette on hold at the library.  The library has been such a help these days.  However, mine is kind of small and everything needs to come from anotherlibrary.  They have a rental section so yest. I rented a book for one dollar for a week.  I was bummed that I had to do that, but its still cheaper than buying AND the rentals are a better selection until the books I put on hold and request come in!  ;-)