Well you can't beat youself over the past otherwise you will never look forward. all you can do is resolve to do better in the future.  Do you get Til debt due us part show? It is a great show about Gail a financial advisor who redos people's budgets and gives them challenges where they can earn money.  It is a Canadian show (I am canadian) but it is shown in the US.  It is about all different people in lots of different situations. great info there.   check out her blog for links. She also has budget info worksheets etc.    Besides all the great info in the dollar stretcher, check out other blogs for inspiration,  read the tightwad gazatte.  not spelling that one right.  http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/blog/

We have a home equity line of credit that we are moving into the mortgage. We look great on paper because housing prices have doubled in the last 5 yrs here just after we bought our house. min 1/2 million for a house now here.   but if you sell you still have to buy another house!

we have made lots of mistakes in the past and probably make some in the future.  We do save about $70 a mth in a rrsp for me though dh work where they have a matching program so it is $140 a mth for retirement.  it is little but does add up over the years.  now we need an emergency fund. 

all our money in the last few months went to vet bills etc. I have a $300 accountants bill to pay and then I will get started. We have a homestay student for extra money besides my part time job.

Our mortage is up for renewal so once all our debts are in low interest mortage and line of credit we can use all the extra money we were paying in interest and apply it to debt.

Awsome blog, I only peeked, but will read it next week.   thanks for your response and I will chat with you later!

dmc

The good thing is that you realize the problem.  The trick is getting that debt paid down without establishing new debt.  Also I think you need to look at exactly what the debt is.  Student loans, house loans, car loans are almost necessary evils.  Notice I said almost.  Credit card debt and unsecured loans however are things that I feel should be worked at reducing and eliminating.  I can help you feel better however that it is doable to get to a debt free situation.  We haven't achieved this yet.  However I anticipate getting down to just the necessary evil debt within the next 3 years- and probably only having 1 car payment by that time.  One thing though that I wish I had done was eliminated our debt when our kids were younger.  We are facing next years income (2009) being what determines our daughters first year financial aide.  I wish we had eliminated our debt previously as the FAFSA forms don't account for the bills you already have to pay- it just looks at your income and figures oh- you can pay x amount towards your childs education.  So the next couple of years we are working hard at eliminating the credit card debt and the car payments so we can pay that x that they figure we will have to pay anyhow.  With your child being 9 that would be something I would highly encourage you to do as soon as you possibly can.  At age 9 they are usually around 3rd maybe 4th  grade so that gives you about 8 years to accomplish that.  Start now so you won't be faced with similar situations.  Heres our story

We have been married 17 years and and paid off credit cards on what is now our 3rd time.  We are a little younger than you as we are both 37.  However I too think about retirement and feel how will we accomplish this?  We have 3 kids ages 16,15, and 12.  We started out this occurance with probably close to $30,000 that we had to pay off in credit card debt and unsecured loans alone between 10 companies, a house loan for around $43000, and student loans of around $7000.  We are now down to around 6,000 in credit card debt between 2 companies.  At the time we started we didn't have any car loans- however we also didn't have reliable cars.  Granted we got the credit cards are getting paid down but we incurred 2 car loans currently sitting around $7,000 and $14,000.  The reliability of the cars was essential with me commuting.  The house loan is down to around $32,000.  Since that time we incurred a house loan for a second house- now at around $20,000.  We also have medical bills that amount to around $1,000 and the student loans is down to $4500.  So you add all the debt and we are sitting with around 84500 in debt.  Now I realize this means we have more debt that 6 years ago however it is restructured from unsecured debt into debt that is secured and fall into the category of the necessary evils.  One house has 8 years left of payments and the other has 9 years. 

Like I said we have 2 houses.  Six years ago when we moved here we had purchased the first house which we couldn't sell for the amount of the loan when we moved.  We didn't move totally by choice.  So we rented when we first moved here.  We rented out that house which has at the least helped defer the cost of owning the house but the thing I liked the most was the tax write offs that we got from it.  We at first joked that we just bought our retirement house early however since it hasn't been viewed as that much of a joke.   Fast forward to last year.  Our landlord put the rental house we were in up for sale.   The opportunity arose for us to purchase this 4 bedroom  1 full bath and 2 3/4 baths for $26500.  We figured out how much we had put into renting over the past 5 years and it basically paid the base price of the house.  If the situation arose to sell the other house at this time we probably would for the right price and could get the loan paid off- however it isn't our top priority.  Its one of those things we view as timing.  When its the right time the right situation will arise. 

Through it all I think about it as a slow process.  Debt accrues a lot faster than it is eliminated.  I try to look at the overall picture.  Sure we are struggling now to pay off these debts however by the time we are 46 we will have 2 houses that are paid in full.  One of those houses (the one we are living in now) we plan on selling with profits used for refurbishing the other house.  I anticipate that we will probably almost always have 1 car loan during that process however I hope to never have a period of time where we have 2 car loans again.  This is a process that you whittle away at like a woodworker.  You have to make lifestyle adjustments.  Teach your child that second hand isn't a bad thing.  You can get more for your money and still get nice things.  Even with girls this is something that you can accomplish however you have to start now which they are still young.  My 2 teenage daughters both love Goodwill.  They say that mom doesn't say no at goodwill.  This is one lesson that is valuable for them for their future.  Also be honest with your child why you can't afford to get the newest things.  Paying off the debt needs to be one of the biggest priorities.  By being honest with them when they are adults going through hard times they will realize that mom understands. 

Good luck in your process and realize that you aren't alone.  There are many people on the website who are in similar situations.  We all came here for one goal- frugal living and getting debt free.  Some start out with bigger debt loads however we all have one thing in mind.  Achieving the goal.  Also you need to pat yourself on the back- you have made the first step.  That step is one that I would venture most people need to take however are in denial about.  As a society we are in trouble with debt.  Ignoring the problem doesn't make it go away.   So pat yourself on the back and take up woodworking like the rest of us- whittle away at the debt. 

"Debt accrues a lot faster than it is eliminated"

Good morning and thank you so much for sharing your story.  I really appreciate the responses.  What I pasted from your note above is so true.  Debt happens so fast, in a blink of an eye.

I have only been evaluating and making changes since March.  It has been a eye opener.  I can't believe how fast things, little things add up.

Another thing I noticed is since March I have been really trying to plan ahead for everything and I realize it does cost a little bit of money to get ready to save money.  I can't even begin to explain that without sounding silly.  But there are things I needed to have to make it easier for us to stay home over the summer.  A couple of beach towels, some beach chairs, used bikes, etc.  I felt they were all a good investiment for the summer of FREE fun in the sun.

My daughter is great.  We went to the market and I gave her my list and I told her, "do not let me buy anything that is not on that list!"  When I noticed I had forgot to put mayo on the list and picked some up, she repremanded me!  ;-)  I told her - it's not flowers, it's mayo!  ;-)

I do worry that there won't be any money for retirement, I am more worried about that than her college.  YOu can borrow for college and not retirement.  I thank you for the heads up for the college loan requirments, I had not thought of that.  My daughter doesn't say IF she goes to college, she says WHEN so I know it is going to happen.

I have to say that I get really depressed at the situaiton I am in.  I know it is the bad choices I have made, and it really bothers me.  I hate that each day I have to think about money!  Ugh.  Hate that!

Thanks again all!!!! 

Motivation is the biggest factor. We have paid off over $7000 in credit card debt since January 2008. We didn't just win the lottery or rob a bank but (1) reviewed our spending and (2) set a budget geared toward paying down debt. It hit us in November or December that at the end of every month, we had to put our groceries on a credit card and we had to put gas on a credit card. This told me I could not even feed my family with my paycheck if I was putting groceries on a credit card b/c I had no cash! Scary! For us, we had to adjust our "entitled" attitude. I had to quit shopping and DH and I had to stop eating out. Two areas where we found a EXTRA $500 a month to pay straight to credit cards was (1) grocery shopping and (2) eating out. The other area I was spending money in was personal shopping: clothes, make-up, shoes, kids clothes. We cut that out (or now have a very, very, limited budget) and this is what our before and afters are:

Clothing/personal         Before: $300 a month           After: $50 a month

Groceries                     Before: $600 a month            After: $400 a month

Eating out:                   Before: $250 a month             After: $50 a month

This gave us $650 "extra" a month! Now, because I was putting groceries on a credit card, I had to just put all those away in a drawer to stop all temptation. In addition to the $300 we were paying on credit cards each month, we added $500-$600 from this $650 "saved" money. Any extra money went to debt. We also started putting money, just $25 at first, in a savings account. Now, I have $100 going in savings each month. This is a saving-grace so we can't use the credit card to pay for something unexpected like a car repair bill.

I know from your earlier post you have a huge amount. But chipping away one debt at a time will save your life.

DH and I have automatic retirement in our jobs but I have tried to add $25 a month more in another retirement account. Just a little bit helps! We have 2 young sons, ages 3 years and 20 months, and it's hard to say no to expensive fun things. But in the long run, it will be better. We will own our house, own our cars and have a secure future. We had a $30,000 home equity loan in addition to the $7000 credit card debt but we did refinance at a lower rate and roll the HEL into our mortgage but it hasn't put us upside down, thank goodness.

You sound determined. You will get great money tips here, both on how to save money on everyday things as well as how to work finances and find extra money for debt.

wow houses for 26,500! don't think those prices have been around here since the 60's or early 70's.   our housing market just went nuts in the last couple of years but was fairly average before that.

Dawn,

Cooking from scratch will help a great deal, and your daughter can learn a life skill as well.  :-)  If at all possible, you should check into Angel Food Ministries www.angelfoodministries.com, which is not a need-based program but acts like a giant coop, ordering something like 11,000 items from companies all at one time to distribute.     A basic box is said to feed a single person for a month or a family of four for a week.  If that is not in your area, members here can tell you about programs in other areas. 

Line drying clothes instead of using the dryer will save lots on electric, as will turning off lights when leaving a room and/or converting to CFLs.  Many folks unplug appliances when leaving the house, turn the temps up for a/c to kick in in the summer, and down in winter, donning the extra sweater. 

Finding free fun in your community is a big help.  Use the library extensively.  Find places to pick your own fruit/veggies; I think the site is www.pickyourown.org.  Many folks garden, can, freeze, dehydrate, to name some of the skills here.  Food is not free in the supermarket and doing the work lets us know why!  :-)

Good luck at the community garage sale!  May you go home with none of your own stuff and none of anyone else's! 

Thanks for all the great tips!  I checked out the websites and nothing local to So. Cal.  ;-(

I have seriously been thinking about making my own strawberry jelly.  I live close to Oxnard California and there are lots of fields here, so I can find a deal.  I have been researching Canning Materials and instructions.  So far it looks like Smart and Final have the cheapest jars.  So  I have to get my all that together.  See, this is the kind of thing I meant earlier when I said it is expensive to start out to save!  You need to get ready to be frugal and that costs money!  I think I am going to hit the junk stores and some garage sales this weekend to look specifically for a big pot and some jars.

My garage sale was a bust this weekend.  It went into the 100s here and I sold 8.00 worth of tops.  We packed it up early and took to charity.  If I had storage, I would store it for another time, but I live in a matchbox as is.

I didn't buy anything!  I stayed away!  ;-)  Took my girl to the beach and took snacks!  FREE!!!  ;-)

Welcome DMC.

 I would guess that most if not all on this forum have been in a similar financial situation such as yours. The trick is recognizing what got you there and changing that behaviour. It isn't easy but it feels so good once it gets done. Then if you get into some bad times again, like lose a job or your injured, not owing anyone any money can really ease the stress of that time. It is real surprising how fast debt can disappear when you apply every spare dollar to the balance to get it paid off. I've done things like using the money budgeted for my water bill, which comes every other month, for making extra payments in the odd months I don't have the bill. Anytime a monthly bill, like a utility bill, was less than my budgeted amount, I put that extra money aside and at the end of the month if I didn't need it for anything, it got paid on a credit card or a loan. We managed to get $26,000. paid off in 3 years time, which may not sound too fast, but knowing that it is gone and not coming back is pretty good. Good Luck! Edey

Hi Edey,

26K in 3 years sounds awesome to me.  That is 36 months.  In my world, that would be when my daughter is in 7th grade and to me, I would love to know that I have paid that much off by then.  Its a good idea to roll unexpected money into a bill.  How do you do that once the bill is paid, do you wait until the next month?  I am so lousy at budget.  I can't wait to see the one my friend is working on for me.  In the mean time, basically, I just keep track of expenses.

I have told myself 250.00 for food this month and I think I might just make it.  I know 250.00 sounds like alot, but we never eat out and that is every meal from home for both of us.  I have 30.00 (approx) left to do it.   Maybe I will get better at coupons and budgeting and bring it down!!!!

I am heading to the dollar store to pick up some pasta and some other things because we are having a BBQ with visitors on monday and I don't want to blow my budget because of it.  I already have meat in the freezer I paid 1.99 a lb for.

 It's tuff but I am tuffer, right?

;-)