Being new here, I just found this thread. What perfect timing! This very issue is something I am going through myself. Tithing. I am a very new Christian, in fact, I am being baptized this Sunday. I was very excited about finally going to a church! And that my husband was going too! We felt very close to our church and the people in it. My husband started playing music and singing at church, and even wrote his own songs, that are just beautiful. He was really into it. Since he is also a very talented web designer and computer whiz, he even has designed a awesome website for our church. It would have cost a lot of money if someone had designed it and set it up for them, outside of the church. This is not a static page site.

What I am getting to, is that it was mentioned that we do not tithe enough. I forgot to mention that we drive 110 miles round trip to get to this particular church. It is a small Bible based church and we really felt something pulling us there after we met the pastor. We both felt that the pastor was special and have learned alot since we have been going there (since Easter Sunday). So the gas is costing us in excess of $100. a month just to attend the services. So I put in what I can for the collection plate. But it is not enough. This is turning my husband off from church in general now. He is disappointed. So he has agreed to do the baptism on Sunday as it was already agreed on. But after that?

My question is.....not to you, but just in general......is going to church a luxury item that I cannot afford? We do not do anything with our money that would be thought of as wasteful. I am VERY frugal. I go without most things that many people would not even think of going without. And when, and if, I started making enough money to catch up on other things that we got behind on (we had some bad things happen to us in the last 5 years or so), we would be able to put in the 10%, but as of right now......sadly, I cannot.

katlupe 

Katlupe, I have said this before somewhere, and I am putting this before you at the risk of being flamed.  If you owe money to anyone, it is not YOUR money to tithe, it belongs to the one you owe it to.  Otherwise, the tithe should belong to the debtor!  You can only tithe from your heart, with your own money, money that would otherwise be used for everyday expenses or perhaps go into a savings/checking account, or just be blown.  The church should not even accept money that belongs rightly to debtors.
Perhaps you should explain your financial circumstances to your pastor.  If he is any kind of a human being, he should understand, and he is not qualified to decide for you. If not, I would seek another venue for worship.  I would have difficulties tithing according to what someone else decides should be my tithe.  It is between me and my Maker. My Maker does understand.
Patrink

Katlupe - IMO, what you give to the church, whether it is in money or services, is between you and God.  Man does not have the right to tell you if you are giving enough or not.  We were involved in a church like that at one time and that was one of the reason we left.  Pray about where you are suppose to give and how much.  If someone was to look at our 'tithing' record it would look like we don't give, but we have several places we like to help out when we can.  I personally believe that God does not expect us to take food out of our children's mouths to give to a church.  Also, congratulations on your baptism, and your husbands music.  As a musician myself I always love to hear how God gives people songs.

Dear Katlupe, (1st of all, I apologize for not being able to get back to your post to spell your name correctly!)

I agree with Sue completely, & to a certain point with Rolo -- I agree with Rolo but feel that she could put it more judiciously -- no offense to Rolo.  If I recall correctly, this thread began with my upset over not being in a place where I can send 10% of my income (Social Security Disability - $1028/mo = a monthly expected tithe of $103), whereas I onlly give $108 ANNUALLY.  (That is 6 x $Chai -- Chai is $18, & means "Life", to Jews.)  I completely agree that the other things we do to help people COUNT.   Tracy is a great example -- look bAck at her post on teh last page. 

I agree that you should seek out another church.  It's not just the tithe issue, it is also the gas money, you could give that away if you joined a local church ....  Or maybe if you have debt that you're not paying off, you should avoid the drive AND not tithe.

Also, moderation in all things.  I don't know when Easter was exactly, but I figure it was in April, so that makes your having been baptized less than 4 months ago.  How can you be a fully observant person so quickly?  It has to grow on you, or else there is the danger of all or nothing.

What do you think about the issues I've raised?  I hope & pray that I have not offended you, because I believe that these are important points that you should nto have a cause to dismiss them out of hand. 

Thank you for everyone's answers. No, you have not offended me in the least. None of my money goes to debt such as credit cards or that type of thing. It is just living expenses. But the money just does not spread far enough. I make a living online, but it does not make me rich. So I live very frugally and I do admit to owning three horses, but that is my one luxury so to speak. I do not have any other item in my life that is for pleasure. The internet is my business and I do not have tv or anything else that would incur expenses.

Well the pastor has called and admits the mistake in mentioning it to us. The assistant pastor emailed me and feels horrible about this whole thing, as they felt us coming into their church was very special. The weird thing was that we met the pastor when my mother in-law was in the hospital having her legs amputated. And we felt a connection. When we went into that church everyone welcomed us warmly. Then they discovered who my mother in-law was, and come to find out, they had been praying for us to accept Jesus into our lives for years. They had no idea we were the people they were praying for. We were on their prayer list. My mother in-law is a musician who played at many churches and other places and that is why they knew her. So one time long ago she requested them to add us to their prayer list. And we live pretty far from them to have chosen their church to go to.

 So now they seem to recognize the fact that my husband's work on the website alone is worth alot of money. He did it all for free. All they had to do was to pay the hosting fee. They wanted it badly. And nobody knew a thing about computers. He even has a video on it, so when they can buy a camcorder he will put the sermons on weekly. He will maintain it for them too. That does count for something.

 I have decided to give them another chance. But I will not be made to feel uncomfortable over money. There are poor people in the church and I can understand they need operating expenses. And we will contribute more when we can. But they will have to accept us as we are or not at all. What hurt was that this was so unlike this pastor. I just can't explain it, it was just so unexpected. It may take me awhile to get over it, but I will never forget it. I just cannot see giving my bill money to the church and maybe not having wood this winter or propane for my refrigerator. So maybe that is why many people do not go to church. They find they cannot afford it at that time in their lives? I just give what I can right now.

I just want to add, that I do not agree with the fact of give more money and then God will give you more blessings. It is like God will not love you if you do not have money to give. Why does everything have to be about money? My husband always says that money is all that matters. I do not want to belive that.

 katlupe

Hi There-

We have tithed money at all income levels during our marriage. It is no easier at the higher level than it was at the lower level, because since we have more available now we give more. As for the "what goes around comes around" theory, we have never based our giving on whether we would be more blessed, we just gave because we could/can and because it feels good. But I must say we have seen many great blessings come our way in our marriage, some monetary and some in other ways.

Not being a reg. churchgoer...when I went to church in the past with relatives long time ago, it always seemed that you gave what you could.  It doesn't seem very "christian" to me to have to donate a set amount or you are not welcome. I know the church has expenses to meet.  If people are abusing the church's goodwill and services that is different story. There is more to giving then money. Money is great but isn't it a means to an end for helping.  Frankly I find the most help I have had or gave is had nothing to do with money. Delivering a hot home cooked meal to a new mom or a griefing person means more then saying here's $20 for pizza.  Actions speak louder then words.  Mother Theresa was never rich but in spirit. my 2 cents :)   speaking of dinner, better go make some for the family!

I'm so sorry you have gotten upset over money.........I think sometimes tithing isn't explained very well, I hope I can share how I feel, I'm not the best writer.  The bible says in Malachi 3 verse 6-12   The Lord wants us to bring in our tithes and he will rebuke the devourer and we will be blessed.   

I know tithing works but you have to find that out for your self.   Pray before giving your money, its not going into a hole never more to be seen.......but given to the Lord to be blessed.   I have heard or read isn't better to give 10% to G-d and 90% for us,  trust G-d to make the money stretch.  Read Deuteronomy 28, I love that chapter and claim that for my life.

Lord bless you and so glad you are a Christian.   We have the joy of the Lord everyday.

 Hi Katlupe  -  If you've read through the posts, you may notice that this is a subject that really brings out a reaction in me.  I will have to pray about it to understand it better, but it always makes me so sad when money threatens to get in the way of our relationship with our father.  I'm so glad it didn't hinder you and I'm excited to hear of your bapitism  -  congratulations!  Yes, we all need to learn to trust God to provide for us, and that goes for churches too. 

Deuteronomy chapter 28 sets forth (for those who don't have ready access to a Bible) all of the blessings that Moses bore from the hand of G-d, should the Israelites accept their covenant with the L-rd.  It also sets forhe G-d's curses upon teh Israelites should they not comply.  This is illustrative:  verse 13:

The L-rd will make you the head, not the tail; you will always be at the top & never at the ottom -- if only you obey & faithfully observe teh commandments of the L-rd your G-d that I enjoin upon you this day & do not deviatze to the right or to the left from  any of the commandments that I enjoin upon you this day & turn to the worship of ogther gods.

Just my humble opinion, but, Jews, too have the joy of the L-rd everyday!  Yes?  No?