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Single Parents

Last post 12-12-2007 8:55 PM by Betty Ann. 6 replies.
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  • 12-12-2007 12:54 PM

    • Pat
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 03-06-2007
    • Colorado
    • Posts 14,459

    Single Parents

    Being a little lazy today, I've been digging around the Dollar Stretcher site and found this : Single Work-at-Home Moms 

    I was (kids are all grown up now) a single Mom for a time and worked at home. I felt especially blessed to be able to do so, but I know it's not for everyone. However, this article made me think it's more possible for more single parents than I had thought. I worked online, writing and doing other miscellaneous jobs, but it looks like there are a lot of other options I hadn't considered. Are you, or do you know anyone who is? How do you (they) make it work?

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  • 12-12-2007 1:42 PM In reply to

    Re: Single Parents

    I am a Single MOM.. in NYC.. My mortgage is so HIGH... I survive by being Frugal... and by being a Mystery Shopper. I make 2200.00 to 2500.00 a month and free items too.

    I also get 600 a month child support; and my older son, 23 has the downstairs and pays 600 a month for room and board from scholarship and working a bit; and my other son is 11.(the one I still get child support for)

     All my money goes for Food * Mortgage * Utilities... ..

    The reimbursement gives me free clothes; food items; drug store items; office supply items; make up items; etc.. about 300 worth of reimbursements each month..

    NYC is ideal for Mystery Shopping; but not in places where there are not tons of stores all over..  

     I don't drive; so it is a lot of buses; trains; and walking miles.. but at 46 it keeps me in pretty GOOD shape.. so that is a health benefit.. (even on the coldest or hottest days here I work). :)

    I never drove; my garage is empty; I am Environmentally conscious but that decision saves me tons for not needing car insurance; a new car; car repairs; gas...etc..  

    I'm lucky to my ex-husband of my 11 year old not only pays child support of 600 he buys my son all his clothes; shoes; coats; baseball expenses; glasses now for the blackboard; pet food and vet bill for the PUG he got him 3 years ago; and on and on.  And gives him an allowance each week.

    He also takes him EVERY weekend Friday to Sunday night.. so I can work on weekend days  .. (for 5.5 years)  ....and have a social life..

    He has his free time the rest of the other 5 nights; and his girlfriend of 4 years has two boys about the same age; who dad never sees them; so if he is going to be with those boys; my son is there too. My ex lives in his mother's house. The grandmother buys clothes and gives him an allowance too; and on and on too. Hair cuts too.

    New York City is superhigh.. mainly my mortgage .. and utilities come to about 3100-3300  a month.. Insane. (higher in winter due to heating the house; I only put my air on a few times in the summer months.

    Why do I mystery shop? I do it so I can be here for my 11 year old before school; and back before 2:13 pm when he gets home. I can enter reports from home on my laptop while he has friends here a few times a week; and cook them all dinner and not ever need babysitters.

    No sick days; no pension; no Holiday pay; no vacation pay..but peace of mine that after being a SAHM for the two older and him.. I can stay a SAHM by being home for him when he is home. (even if I'm working from home; I still feel I'm a SAHM (stay at home mom).. because he is playing in front of the house; and I'm still here.

    Thanks for the link Pat.

     

    Betty Ann
     

     

     

     

    Still Surviving in New York City (and thriving at times too).
  • 12-12-2007 1:52 PM In reply to

    • Pat
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on 03-06-2007
    • Colorado
    • Posts 14,459

    Re: Single Parents

     You make up to 2500 a month mystery shopping?? Wow. That's a lot more than I thought could be made from it. NYC is probably the best place in the world to do it, though, as you said. I even thought about that sometimes, more to get out of the house, but never thought of actually making a living at it.

    Thanks for your input!  

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  • 12-12-2007 1:59 PM In reply to

    Re: Single Parents

    Betty Ann, I'm impressed too at how much you make doing that! Guess there is a benefit of living in NYC.

    My good friend is a single mom. She struggles I know but has a house with a mortgage, receives NO child support (first child's father died when he was not even 1; second avoids paying by staying one step ahead of where they can garnish wages), and works full-time. She has a 13 and a 9 yr old ... both boys (you probably have seen me mention them before in posts). Her oldest is making her life more difficult (he's now considered a juvenile delinquent) so she has to keep her wits about her. Stress is a major part of her life. Nothing is fancy in her place but everything serves a purpose.

    I'm not confused. I'm just well mixed. ~Robert Frost
    Laziness may appear attractive, but work gives satisfaction. - Anne Frank
    I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

    Married my Blessing 10-16-10 :)
    Became an Auntie 12-10-10 :)
  • 12-12-2007 4:38 PM In reply to

    Re: Single Parents

     Hi Pat.. .yes.. once I made 3300 in one month; (long story); but mainly up to 2500.00 plus the reimbursements. I do have to pay self-employment taxes..but yay, the reimbursement are not taxable. YAY.

     Last year I got a free winter jacket for 50.00; some jobs just are REIMBURSEMENT jobs... oh, and I do so many Maternity Shops; that my wardrobe is mainly maternity clothes; jackets; sweaters; undies (thongs) etc... but maternity clothes NO longer look like maternity clothes and I am a size 4/5 and get them in small. I got some cute dresses too last summer (all on the reduce rack; they don't reimbursement for superhigh things.. only up to a certain amount). I got my flip flops in a maternity shop too..lol. :)

    A long linen coat too.. which flares out a bit; but was reduced by 75% so I was able to get with reimbursement acceptable amount and on and on.

    I'm lucky my ex was able to keep me on his health insurance unless he remarries .. then I'll be off.

    But no pension plan; ... but I have the house I bought my ex out.................and I'm living basically month to month; the last 5.5 years.... but no credit card debt except for laptop . I own about 650.00.

     I have one month emergency ..

     And I just got a few credit cards that have about 4000  each allowed to withdraw cash.. they sent me checks to write out too; if needed.

    I won't use credit cards...but I kept these checks and such .. just in case.. I had to get about 10,000.00 in cash.. to survive is I had to stop working and sell the house; I would then pay them off immediately. I keep in case of emergency; but am never tempted to spend money.

    I'm just happy I have a house and my two sons.. (my daughter 21 has her own apartment since summer.. she is a functional alcoholic ..straight A.. scholarship; 2 part time jobs at an accountant firm and bank.. but a drunk like her grandfather and other relatives that I stopped seeing decades ago).

    All my struggles to live in a good neighborhood; my two oldest graduating college in May (then she'll go for her CPA)... but the one thing..Functional genius Alcoholism runs in my family..that was the one thing can't win against... by being a SAHM and working Mystery Shopping and being home for them all... still could not win over that.

    I thought I had a Blessed life as a single mom; with Mystery Shopping and being home.. sorry to hear about your friend Luvd_Lioness.... and her 13 year old child.. no I did not read those entries yet. ((hugs)) to her. (being a good mom is no guarantees how our children turn out.. my house is so peaceful with my daughter in her own 1200 a month apartment; she was coming home drunk 4 to 5 times a week; sleep two hours and go to work/college.. and I hardly slept). Once she turned 21; I made her get her own apartment to not be part of the Insanity of Alcoholism.  I learn in Al-Anon.. I'm powerless; but I don't have to ruin my life too. she is an adult .. almost 22... and she feels it is not a problem.. she has to realize that for herself.

    But 13.. that is so young... thank goodness my soon to be 12 is into only baseball and now hockey... thank goodness.. and my house is peaceful and HAPPY.. (keeping my fingers crossed the alcoholism skips over him as it did me and my older son). 

    Maybe she can do some Mystery Shopping .. during her lunch hours if any stores in your area.. here I can do so many in a 10 block radius.. for example.

    For many the gas and time is not worth it.. they don't pay much per job; it is more volume; and people who drive say they lose moeny with tolls and gas and far distance if not a crowded busy city.

    Betty Ann 

    Still Surviving in New York City (and thriving at times too).
  • 12-12-2007 7:19 PM In reply to

    Re: Single Parents

    My best friend is a single parent to a teenage boy. She works at home in the sense that her primary job is as a support person in a group residence where she also resides. She works a couple of other outside, part-time jobs in addition to the support position.

    She and her H split custody whnen their son was three. Their divorce was mediated, she gets no $ from the ex, as everything is split evenly. However, in the years they were together, the ex was going to school and earning a degree, while she was working and caring for the child. Now her earning capacity is lower than his..she lives at or below poverty level. She is not a whiner or complainer...just from my perspective, she got a raw deal.

    Betty Ann, my oldest son's teenage years might be euphemistically described as 'troubled'....don't want to get into it, but you have my heartfelt sympathy...parenting is nothing if not humbling.

  • 12-12-2007 8:55 PM In reply to

    Re: Single Parents

     (((hugs))) to your friend and to you too Chamomile.

    Women are pretty STRONG folks in my humble opinion. (many of my men friends say that too).  

    By living in a home / work environment that is working from home.

    I count my work as a SAHM since I'm home when my 11 year old son is home; and also a WAHM since I enter assignments on computer at home; and can make my OUT in the Field according to when he is in school or gone on the weekends.

    Good Luck to all of us.. and the support we receive from all venues including this site.

    Betty Ann 

    Still Surviving in New York City (and thriving at times too).
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