When I married, I would never have thought to have a prenuptial agreement. I am sure I would have thought it very unromantic, untrusting and a sign of preparing for a divorce.

Is it a seal for disaster or a wise step to protect yourself just in case something does go wrong? Does anyone here have one?

 

Depending on the assets you having going in to a marriage it might be a wise step.  It's understandable thinking that it's untrusting (I'd likely feel that way too), but on the practical side of things everyone enters into marriage thinking they're going to be with this person forever - why else would you get married?  But the unfortunate fact is divorce happens, a lot.

Oddly enough my DH and I had a similar convo yesterday. One of the girls at work was moaning about getting her husband's name tattooed when they got married and now they're getting divorced due to infidelity on his part.  I told my DH about it, and how I told her that was dumb dumb....the only name(s) you should ever consider getting permanently put on your body are your kids and 'Mom' because you never know what kind of curves life is going to throw at you, and those are the ones you know will always be around regardless! DH laughed and agreed saying "I love you dearly honey, and I meant 'til death do us part,' but I'm not ever getting your name put on me, no offense!" :)

Wish I did that in 88 guess that would have been less expensive and things cut down in half besides him getting must of my stuff so now he is the one to cry his way to the bank each month saying oh crumb I owe And its cheapchics fault...

I don't have one. However, if I were rich and he, poor, I would've had one. I wouldn't have minded if he suggested one, if he were a rich man when we got married. Of course, it's unromantic, but it's also safe. It tells each person exactly what they'll get, should anything happen with the relationship. This removes any insecurity and it certainly shows the rich person that the poorer one is marrying for love - not money. I'd want my rich husband (if this was the case) to be sure I was in love with him not his money. I'd sign one gladly. Happily, we're not rich. We've been married for a while and have built up assets together.

 I don't think I would have for a first marriage, but if one or both parties had children from a first marriage I would feel differently on the second one.  I would want any assets prior to a later marriage to go to my children.  It is a very complicated issue.

I'm not the marrying kind...but if I were to, I'd be all for a a pre-nup. The odds of divorce are pretty high and very few people hit the altar or courthouse to get married thinking "I bet we're one of the couples that doesn't make it." So, just logically, I'd get a pre-nup. I don't want anyone else's money, but especially at this point in my life, I've built up my own nest egg and my own professional assets and various other things that would need to remain separate and mine. I think that also pretty much sums up why I'm not the marrying kind. My mother has something of a "post-nup" after my father's years of alcoholism and irresponsible money behavior. There is a written agreement about who handles the money, who can make changes to financial documents and accounts, and etc. It's working much better for them than the old system of fighting. My sister lives with her boyfriend of 10 years, not married never will be, but they also have a contract (maybe that's a "non-nup"?) stating each party's responsibilities to the household and who gets what in event of a break up or death. They are one of the most functional, if eccentric, couples I know.

cheapChic:

Wish I did that in 88 guess that would have been less expensive and things cut down in half besides him getting must of my stuff so now he is the one to cry his way to the bank each month saying oh crumb I owe And its cheapchics fault...

 

            yes i know cindy that bum clenaed you out.   If I ever down that road which i don't think so I make the bf sign one I am tired of cleaning up a mans mess like the man said Im tired of her mess well Im tired of thier mess. And I know cindy is now to scared to get married so that Im not worried about what she knows now will not happen to her again.

 

Mil wanted me to sign one and Daddy wanted him to sign one but there wasnt a chance DH and I were money equal ... what mine is his and his is mine ..

when he was sick for that year  every was moved into mine name alone.

gayla50:

Mil wanted me to sign one and Daddy wanted him to sign one but there wasnt a chance DH and I were money equal ... what mine is his and his is mine ..

when he was sick for that year  every was moved into mine name alone.

 

Gayla like your email here this is good.

 

grame:

 I don't think I would have for a first marriage, but if one or both parties had children from a first marriage I would feel differently on the second one.  I would want any assets prior to a later marriage to go to my children.  It is a very complicated issue.

We have a situation brewing in our family.  A relative is about to marry a woman who has proven herself over the past few years to be a pushy, greedy, manipulative gold digger. Relative in question was married before, with two daughters - one recently graduated from college and is working.  The second daughter worked for a year or two and is now entering college full time.  The fiancee also has a daughter of 28...no money, no job, no desire to look for one, no morals either.  She's got a 4 month old daughter - father unknown, because the mom was sleeping around with multiple guys (put baby's health in jeopardy with the assortment of STD's she collected along the way) 

The fiancee has making moves on relative's assets including the house that was intended for his daughters, and now she's got her sights set on installing her deadbeat daughter in her potential in-laws basement apartment. She had tried that stunt before - trying to engineer things so that another young family member who was renting said apartment - so that he'd be forced out so her daughter could move in).  The trail of underhanded schemes is long!

Anyhow, she apparently brought up the prenup in such a way that was guaranteed to make the guy feel really guilty about "not trusting her" and "building a life together" etc.  If he actually signs a prenup I'll be very shocked! 

The only person on the planet that hasn't figured out he, his daughters and possibly his parents are about to be shafted is HIM!  Sad...but I'm praying he'll sign the prenup or better yet, not marry the woman at all.