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How Many Stages Have You Been In?

Last post Tue, Apr 20 2010 10:16 PM by gayla50. 13 replies.
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  • Wed, Mar 31 2010 9:43 AM

    • Toni B.
    • Top 25 Contributor
    • Joined on Fri, Apr 4 2008
    • Seneca Falls NY
    • Posts 3,826

    How Many Stages Have You Been In?

    How many different stages have you been in so far? Please list ... even if it was for a short period of time. Elaborate on stages that affected you the most. Talk about the financial aspect as well.
    Officially Recognized Stretchpert in Stages of Life
  • Wed, Mar 31 2010 10:42 AM In reply to

    • Pat
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on Tue, Mar 6 2007
    • Colorado
    • Posts 14,463

    Re: How Many Stages Have You Been In?

     Oh, wow... do you want a book? LOL

    I have been young and single, pretty much broke but not worried about it, then married to a man who worked hard but had trouble making enough money. That was worrisome and I learned a lot about what one does not need to live. I was a single mom after that and money worries didn't get any better, but I felt better about them because I saw it as a challenge and got much better at making do. 

    Then... second marriage, two more kids and eventully a good income. We never saved much, though. We were too busy enjoying life. Three day weekend trips where we dropped a thousand dollars was nothing. (This was 20 years ago, when a thousand dollars was worth a lot more.) We vacationed at least twice a year. We had a big old farm house and three acres and played at being homesteaders.  Before the good times came, though, we - at least I - was serious about it. A huge garden, pigs, chickens, a milk cow, rabbits, a wood heating stove and a wood cookstove. I loved it; he didn't so much.

     Fast forward to the present. I'm retirement age, having had to catch up on retirement savings and the entire financial picture over less than 15 years. Reality isn't always fun, but it's been a challenge I can get my teeth into. If the economy holds up for us, I'll be fine. If not, I guess we're all in trouble. 

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  • Wed, Mar 31 2010 10:44 AM In reply to

    • Emma
    • Top 500 Contributor
    • Joined on Tue, Mar 23 2010
    • Posts 123

    Re: How Many Stages Have You Been In?

    I am not quite sure what you mean by "stages" but here goes;

    When we first married, those were our "chicken thigh and potato years". We had no money and scraped by all the time. We were used to being frugal, which brought us to stage two:

    My husband got a decent job and we socked money away all the time until we were $25,000 to the good. We started our own businesses until we were $40,000 to the bad, which brought us to stage 3;

    We began to dig out. Bought and sold a few real estate properties and moved elsewhere. Lived very frugally once again (still). Until stage 4;

    My husband got a good job and I started working more regularly since the kids were older and we were doing pretty well and saved some money up. This begins stage 5;

    We bought a foreclosure and are trying to sell our house in town. Living frugally to make ends meet until we get it sold which will begin stage 6.

    When we sell our house we will be able to start paying down this mortgage and saving again. 

    We are in our early 40's so it's time to hit the ground running and save and get the mortgage payed down and get the retirement coffers filled up.

     

  • Wed, Mar 31 2010 4:04 PM In reply to

    • Toni B.
    • Top 25 Contributor
    • Joined on Fri, Apr 4 2008
    • Seneca Falls NY
    • Posts 3,826

    Re: How Many Stages Have You Been In?

    Toni B.:
    How many different stages have you been in so far? Please list ... even if it was for a short period of time.
    I started out in a single parent household. I went from there to out on my own at 18. Went into the Air Force at 21 and stayed for eleven years. During that eleven year span I was single, married w/kids and divorced single parent. After I got out, I remarried and was a military dependent wife, was a SAHM, full time college student and working mom. We've been grandparents for 20+ years. We are now empty nesters. DH is fully retired but works at a golf course. I'm semi-retired (no pension yet).
    Toni B.:
    Elaborate on stages that affected you the most.
    The first stage was by far the most difficult because I was dependent on someone who could not function well. I could not wait to get out on my own and not be tied to anyone else's problems. The second most difficult stage was my first marriage because he was financially irresponsible and eventually defaulted on child support.
    Toni B.:
    Talk about the financial aspect as well.
    There have been tough times but since being on my own, I figured out how to always live below our means and make things work. Things never got so bad where we were hungry or homeless. The lean years were when DH & I had left the military but employment was hard to find, so we both went back to school to earn our bachelors degrees. Our kids no idea things were tight until we told them years later and they were shocked. Then we moved, got jobs and paid off student loans and finally retired. Hard times are definitely easier to get through if you have someone to share the burden AND you are on the same page about money and financial goals.
    Officially Recognized Stretchpert in Stages of Life
  • Wed, Mar 31 2010 6:22 PM In reply to

    • Brandy
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on Wed, Mar 28 2007
    • Saving in South Mississippi
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    Re: How Many Stages Have You Been In?

     As an adult, I have been a young wife and mother living frugally to make it on one income. My husband went back and forth between the fishing and oil industries for several years, depending on which was doing better at the moment. I learned to go with the ups and downs and stock for the down times.

    As homeschoolers, that was a stage of life in itself. 

    We have dealt with a work injury that put my husband out of work for a short time and left him struggling to find work afterwards.  This led us to move from Louisiana to his homestate of Mississipi.

    We had a few comfortable and stable years financially when my husband first entered the telecommunications field. 

    Then we entered into running a business. My husband worked contract jobs and we scrimped to live on very little so that the business had what it needed. During the early days of the business and at the age of 30, I had our last child so I juggled office management, home management, homeschooling and an infant. Our little girl was born with health problems and at the time, we were not sure she would walk and talk even so we we added doctor visits and health concerns on top of our pile. Our oldest brought us into the stage of being parents of a teen and her desire to be like other families and to have more added to the tension in our lives. This all led to my husband and I being co-workers sharing home responsibilities rather than a couple.

    My husband closed the business front of his martial arts school to take a full time day job. Hurricane Katrina hit shutting his private martial arts down and putting him out of a job. We spent the next three years trying to find a permanent home and a permanent job for him. 

    He did find work in the telecommunications field again back in my homestate of Louisiana. We decided to follow the work by moving to the area we are now living in.

    And here we are in a new stage of having a young adult daughter living back home again, preparing another teen for adult life, facing the stage of being middle age with no retirement savings, struggling in a shaky economy. 

     

     



     

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  • Wed, Mar 31 2010 6:25 PM In reply to

    • Brandy
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on Wed, Mar 28 2007
    • Saving in South Mississippi
    • Posts 25,145

    Re: How Many Stages Have You Been In?

     

    Pat:
    We never saved much, though. We were too busy enjoying life. Three day weekend trips where we dropped a thousand dollars was nothing.

    Pat dropping money like it was nothing...I am really having trouble picturing this.

     

    The Dollar Stretcher Community Manager



  • Wed, Mar 31 2010 6:29 PM In reply to

    • Pat
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on Tue, Mar 6 2007
    • Colorado
    • Posts 14,463

    Re: How Many Stages Have You Been In?

    Brandy:
    Pat dropping money like it was nothing...I am really having trouble picturing this.
    I blame it on him. Wink

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  • Wed, Mar 31 2010 6:41 PM In reply to

    • Brandy
    • Top 10 Contributor
    • Joined on Wed, Mar 28 2007
    • Saving in South Mississippi
    • Posts 25,145

    Re: How Many Stages Have You Been In?

     

    Pat:
    I blame it on him.

    Yes, that must be it.   Big Smile

     

    The Dollar Stretcher Community Manager



  • Fri, Apr 2 2010 5:12 PM In reply to

    Re: How Many Stages Have You Been In?

    Let me try a list. Left parents' household to marriage and job. We lived mostly on my pitiful income and "love." Then he became AF pilot. Had plenty. He left. Had to make my own way. Uncle Sam paid me well. Too bad I didn't save or invest. Husband two provided DD and ran us financially into ground. He chose to not retire from military in less than two years, but start own business, then not work it. Single again with lots of debt and adolescent DD. Did have decent work. Paid off debt. Grew a lot, especially emotionally. Met and married this DH. We are reasonably comfortable, moreso because we do watch our spending. AM
  • Fri, Apr 2 2010 5:37 PM In reply to

    Re: How Many Stages Have You Been In?

    My stage will just be one my goal is getting a car by 50 years old Im now 48 will hit 49 this year now just save up 2000.00 more then I finally have one thats the stage Im at and a credit thing just got paid now dept free for this month that was another stage..

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