Welcome to Dollar Stretcher Community Sign in | Join | Help
in Search

What we're dealing with

Last post 11-10-2009 4:44 PM by mamasjob. 34 replies.
Page 3 of 4 (35 items) < Previous 1 2 3 4 Next >
Sort Posts: Previous Next
  • 11-07-2009 9:22 AM In reply to

    Re: What we're dealing with

    hang in there hon, i too am a bi-polar as is my son, it can be a very hard road to travel, i will keep you, your dh and family in my prayers

    {{{hugs}}}

    The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not Protect
    you.

    i am old enough to know better but... still too young to care!

  • 11-07-2009 11:37 AM In reply to

    Re: What we're dealing with

    Sorry to hear about what's been going on with your husband.  I wish you peace. 

    It is very hard to live in limbo. I know that for certain.   I had to do that for a few years, and it festered each and every day.  My husband had won a large law suit, and the billion dollar company he had sued (an insurance co.), appealed the jury's decision.  They filed motion after motion, with each being denied.  They took it to the Appellate Court, lost and appealed that decision, too.  Then they took it to the Supreme Court in San Fancisco, which told them to pay up.  It was nice that we got the money (punitive damages included), but all that time took it's toll on our health and our bank account/credit (while we had to wait), in addition to the additional lawyer's fees.

    Can the person who's wallet was stollen, positively identify your husband?  The fact that your husband admitted he took it, to the police, may make it hard.  Is it documented anywhere prior, that your husband has a fear of uniformed police?  After all, the Civil Rights Movement was over forty years ago, and the defence might argue that that's long enough to 'get over it'.  I'm just sayin' because I know from experience what might be in store from the defense.  They tried to make my husband out to be something that he wasn't, but of course, didn't have any facts to back it up.  

    Anyway...may the truth prevail.  

  • 11-07-2009 9:59 PM In reply to

    Re: What we're dealing with

     Yes, the ADA requires employers to make Reasonable Accomation.

     

  • 11-07-2009 10:42 PM In reply to

    Re: What we're dealing with

    its a form of post tramtic stress a mild form of it it will stay with him oh gee I remembered my dad went threw something like that at the college campus but here is the catch he was a teacher there the teachers got ripped off from a student then his daddy was a lawyer got away with being a thief well my dad and the siecence and tech buliding fixed the boys butt they tapped him going to the teachers offices and tried to rob the teachers again until then the boy got busted secuity said boys rights were viaolated bull no excuse they finally got the boy arressted the boy was never come to that collage again and he has a bad record worst then thieft the boy also got srrested threw a warrent he skipped court turned out he took advantage of older adults and scamed them and his daddy could not help him he also scamed them took thousands in money from the firm he worked at in seattle nice family..

    Do nannagin just be there for him he soounds pretty shook up and toldally stressed out to the max good luck..

    cindy
  • 11-08-2009 9:28 AM In reply to

    Re: What we're dealing with

    bnfrugal:
    Can the person who's wallet was stollen, positively identify your husband? 

    We're not being allowed to "be privy to any information pertaining to the investigation" so there's no way of knowing how many people they investigated or if they considered that another student or a visitor took the wallet.

    bnfrugal:
    Is it documented anywhere prior, that your husband has a fear of uniformed police?  After all, the Civil Rights Movement was over forty years ago, and the defence might argue that that's long enough to 'get over it'.  I'm just sayin' because I know from experience what might be in store from the defense. 

    Yes. I passed out at the dks' school while talking with the school social worker after school had let out for the day when he was prediagnosis-premeds and he was called to come over. Because I have several heart problems and had just been diagnosed a few months earlier the school wanted me to go to the hospital to make sure it wasn't my heart (they knew we were dealing with something extremly stressful with 1 of the dks). The school had called an ambulance for me for some reason whenever an ambulance is called the cops come as well around here so when the ambulance was called the school's resource officer (SRO) came  over in full uniform. When she entered the nurse's office to see if there was anything she could/needed to do dh began getting nervous which made me nervous so the nurse told him to leave. He hesitated and the SRO told him to leave the simply put her hand on his arm to get him out of the room and he started to go off on her. Thankfully she was able to get him out of the nurses office where things only got worse from what I've been told that he tried to take on the SRO, her partner and sergeant all uniformed cops by himself infront of the school. Thankfully the social worker had stuck around to make sure I was ok knew dh well enough to reason with him and calm him down other wise he would've been tazed and arrested. She laughs at it now but at the time it was one of her worse days since being a CPS worker. Mine was the most urgent situation going on but the calmest dh was the least urget but the most choatic.  Now that he's on meds instead of being combative with uniformed cops he's extremly submissive with them.

    In 20001 &2 we went down south to visit his Aunts. In '01 we were driving through Missippi from Texas to Alabama on a highway not speeding or anything when he started getting nervous I asked him what was wrong and he didn't answer me till after a cop car flew past us light blazing. He was aftraid that we were getting pulled over for DWAY turns another car on the road was the target not us. In '02 we went down to visit his Aunt in Alabama and put flowers on his mother's grave in the county that he'd grown up in it was almost dark when we got into the county and there was a road block set up. He started getting nervous at the sight of the road block but had to go through it to get to his Aunt's house (5 miles away) turns out they were doing a registration& inspection check nothing more. We were allowed to pass but he was still tense for awhile so I asked why the cop that was running the road block was one of the ones he remembered from his childhood and dh thought for sure we were going to get pulled over again for some small reason cause there were NY plates on the van. He didn't relax totaly till we reached his Aunts house, it had been over 20yrs since he'd lived in that county civil rights movement might have ended in '71 but his fear of what he saw happening again is still there.

    seaturtle:
     Yes, the ADA requires employers to make Reasonable Accomation.

    Thought so when I was doing research for his defense I did look into the ADA and it mentioned Manic Depressive Disorder which is the old name for Bipolar Disorder but I didn't get too far into it at the time and haven't had/made the time to read the law fully.

    cheapChic:
    I remembered my dad went threw something like that at the college campus but here is the catch he was a teacher there the teachers got ripped off from a student

    Dh is banned from the campus so there is no way for him to recant is confession saying it was given under anxeity even though he proved he wasn't there at the time the crime occured. The student is allowed to recant the time and reissue their complaint against dh, the campus cops can alter their reports to match their mistakes but dh is unable to do anything to stop them other than to go to his union steward who wasn't too interested in protecting his job at the hearing. He requested a copy of the second report on Tuesday they said they were mailing it off but it's yet to come and he has to be the one to put in the request as I am not mentioned on the report at all.

    thrift is a sign of intelligence, any fool can spend money
  • 11-08-2009 5:59 PM In reply to

    Re: What we're dealing with

    Nanagain...I never realized the depths of tramatic shock.  I guess you can liken it to veterans and holicost victims or anyone who has ever suffered something severe in their past.

    All I can say is that I will keep you in my prayers, hoping that in the end, your husband will be vindicated.

  • 11-09-2009 4:31 PM In reply to

    Re: What we're dealing with

    Well we got a call from the union this afternoon and the news wasn't good he was terminated based on the fact that he confessed. They didn't want to hear that his fear of uniformed cops made him confess and that he proved he wasn't in the area when it happened as far as the college is concerned he confessed case closed. I go to the displaced homemakers program next week and will see what I can do to get job training and how to go from here. Tomorrow dh is going to day labor type places till he can find something else. We've got enough funds to get us through this month but that's it till January 1st when we can get the taxes done, we normally get large refunds that should give us enough money to carry us a few months till something solid comes along.

    thrift is a sign of intelligence, any fool can spend money
  • 11-09-2009 5:35 PM In reply to

    • babs
    • Top 10 Contributor
      Female
    • Joined on 04-02-2007
    • Vermont
    • Posts 4,879

    Re: What we're dealing with

     So sorry , prayers for direction and wisdom, Babs

    Officially recognized Stretchpert in Prayer Circle
  • 11-09-2009 9:58 PM In reply to

    Re: What we're dealing with

    I am so sorry.  Is there any recourse you can take, from a disability point of view?  Any advocacy group that can help, maybe, or is it better to just leave it behind and forge ahead?  You seem to be a very strong, determined woman, and I know you and yours will persevere.

  • 11-09-2009 10:30 PM In reply to

    • MarthaMFI
    • Top 10 Contributor
      Female
    • Joined on 04-16-2008
    • New Westminster, BC, Canada
    • Posts 5,249

    Re: What we're dealing with

    I am sorry to hear that!  I hope something comes up soon or the school changes its mind.

Page 3 of 4 (35 items) < Previous 1 2 3 4 Next >
Creating Kitchen Convenience
Preparation and organization will help get you out of the kitchen!

Do you read the Dollar Stretcher Blogs?

See the Guidelines and Forum Help to get your questions about these forums answered

About Us    Privacy Policy    Writers' Guidelines     Sponsorship     Media    Contact Us



Powered by Community Server (Commercial Edition), by Telligent Systems