I don't think you are weird at all!  My husband and I along with our two grown daughters and their mates spend the week between Christmas and New Years at Myrtle Beach each year. Hubby and I pay for the condo and the kids provide the groceries. Since we go off season, we can rent a 3 bedroom, 2 bath condo right on the water for a little over $600 for the whole week. (vs about the $1600 they cost in season!)  This is our gift to each other. Being with my kids and him for a whole week is a wonderful "gift" if you ask me!  We don't even do a whole lot down there. We eat out only once or twice and all the rest of the meals are fixed and eatten in the condo, and in the evenings, we sit around the table and play cards or board games. It's fantastic!  I have been married to my husband for 26 years and if we want something or need something, we just go get it. If it is something we want but can't afford in June, the chances of being able to afford it at Christmas time is pretty much "nil to none"! LOL

I wonder what people think when I told them that last year, our anniversary present was a new heat pump???

No I don't think you are weird at all but I also know how it feels to not get anything from dh year after year we don't have children and I don't expect anything expensive.  We are also not buying big ticket items but it does become somewhat hurtful when you friends are telling you what their dh gave them and there you are with nothing just one Christmas a small gift would be kinda nice it could just be a $15.00 necklace or a pair of cheap earings.

 For some, I think, a gift is a necessary part of showing love. Our culture tells us that, we are bombarded with media messages about that.

 That said, some families don't think it's Christmas without presents. For myself, I have an agreement with my friends that we all will donate to a charity if we can afford it. Some cannot afford anything. Some hate Christmas beause of the "obligation" to give gifts and run up redit card debt.

When I was married, we didn't give much in way of presents. Maybe one inexpensive one - were poor. 

To your sil, is Christmas a celebration of a spiritual and religious time, or a time when people just have to purchase things? And is it an indication of love, or something expected.

You're not weird, you're morally right and not focused on material things as emotional vehicles. I feel sorry for your sil.  I'm not judging, just saying what I believe.

 It's not weird. There are many years my dh and I don't get each other anything for Christmas... sometimes not for B-days either. If you don't have the money, why go into debt even further? And we agree on this...our marriage is not based on material goods...I consider myself blessed to have him...

Kathy

Since I didn't read the other replies this may be repeated....  It sounds selfish to me.  My birthday was just 2 weeks ago.  We don't have scads of money right now.  I could have asked my DH for perfume or a night out on the town or whatever and he would have done his best to do that for me.  But instead I asked for things I legitimately needed and that I knew could be accomodated in our budget, which this year I needed new winter pajamas, slippers, and socks.  Guess what I got?  Winter pajamas, slippers and socks.  I feel that it would have been wrong of me to demand more than that under the circumstances.  And I think by being centered more on my family as a whole and not myself, I was rewarded b/c my mom sent me a really nice gift of parfume for my birthday, which I really wanted, but didn't ask anyone for.  (Does that sound wrong?  I hope not.  I don't mean for it to.  It is simply what happened and my take on it.)

My parents are the same.  My mom needs a new washing machine and dryer.  She will probably get in December or January as part of her Christmas gifts and everything else she gets will just be a couple of small things.  My mom has asked for and received a lawn mower, a weed whacker, a new car, clothes, shoes, and various tools & household appliances.  My dad has asked for and received clothes, shoes, jackets, a new car, smelly good stuffs, socks, unders, etc.  It's not weird.  These were things they wanted AND needed and were tickled pink to receive as gifts.

At some point in your life you start to realize what is important and the rest is just stuff.  Sounds to me like your sis isn't there yet.

Lee:

One year he bought her a car and she felt that wasn't really a gift because he would drive it too. 

 

Wow Lee I think my jaw is still on the ground from reading that little story.

But in response to the original message, I don't think it's weird at all that you and your DH have not exchanged gifts at Christmas. We don't have children but if we did I would certainly give up my own Christmas gifts to make sure they had something under the tree. We've had years when money was tight and we bought just things for each other that we would have bought for ourselves because we needed them: clothes for work, a bathrobe, some slippers, a pair of gloves and a scarf, a new wallet...you get the idea. These were things that we needed to replace but it was nice to open them as gifts.

I also agree it's the thought that counts. One year I came up with 150 things I love about DH and I put those quotes into a computer file. When he presses a button on his screen a random "I love you because..." quote pops up in a window. DH said it was the best gift ever. It took time for me to make it but it didn't cost anything. 

 

No, you're not weird, you're being sensible. DW and I already have all the stuff we need, and have tentatively decided that a new computer will be the joint gift this year since the one we're using now is over 12 years old. It's had numerous upgrades but there comes a time....

That said, we usually get a couple of small items like a couple of shirts or slippers or something that will suffice to put under the tree and open on Christmas day, but those are just tokens.

SIL sounds like a prima donna to me.

Walt34:

SIL sounds like a prima donna to me.

 

agreed.

Don't put yourself down! You are a good person, with a good grasp on life. Don't let this woman change you.

cyn

We've done this lots of times. I don't remember getting/giving a gift for/from DH our first Christmas, married a total of one week and we were living in my parents basement because I had just graduated college a week prior and DH still had one semester left. Neither of us had a job. Young, dumb, and we didn't have a "pot or window" either. Happy as clams, though! Lots of birthdays our gifts are a lawn mower, etc. I guess I could have said that I got a new van for my 33rd birthday, but our old car was dying as we were driving it and we had to have a new vehicle!! Last Christmas we didn't exchange gifts because we were going the next week for a 3 day trip for our 15th wedding anniversary. This year we won't exchange gifts because DH has done a good deed for someone in need and it's the same amount we would have paid for gifts for each other. Maybe I'm weird too, because I would rather use our money to pay off debt that have more "stuff". That's like women who have to pick out their own engagement rings so they get what they want. What's the point in that? I wanted DH to pick something on his own. It was a GIFT to me, not a requirement!