The Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays are my favorite time of year.  I love decorating, cooking, baking, going to special services, etc. and they really make the season for me.  But I seem to be in a funk about getting going this year.  I've bought most of my pantry items already and have a start on gifts; money is not so tight this year as in years past, so that's not an issue.

The main problem, I think, is I'm soooo tired.  That and my house feels so cluttered and even dirty to me that it's depressing and that's very out of character for me.  I can't bring myself to pull out all my fall and winter items while everything needs a good scrubbing - but I don't have the time altogether to complete much nor the energy to stay with long projects if I have a spare hour or so.  I don't work, we've finished homeschooling, but I'm busy all the time with old folks.  My parents and dh's require many doctor trips a month (two ER visits just last week), not to mention we do most all their shopping and errands, pay bills, etc.  Our two grown dd's are still at home (one had to move back in last year) but are either working, going to college or with their bf's, which is fine, but they're not much help around the house.  Dh has been working a ton of OT and falls asleep as soon as he finishes dinner, no help there; we're not as young as we used to be.

I hate the thought of not having my house decorated the way I want it for Christmas, no cookies in the freezer and everything not squeaky clean.  But right now it looks insurmountable to me. 

What works for you all? How do you balance it?  I don't want to miss the real spirit of Christmas this year - but the old traditions really mean a lot to me...Liz.

Liz, sounds like you need a hug! 

I don't have a lot of suggestions except to give FlyLady a try and to also consider scaling back a tad for the holidays.  Many people, as their children grow, scale back a bit.  Instead of having every surface covered in holiday items, you can pick out just a few key areas.  You can still bake, but if you normally make 2 dozen types of cookies/treats, maybe this year just make 1 dozen types.  You have a lot on your plate right now and it's okay to need a break from it all.

Liz, One way you may be able to get the house in order is do a little at the time and since everyone lives there tell them they need to pitch in and help a little.  I know they have their own lives but it isn't fair to you to have to tend to the older folks and have to do all of everything else and they will probably all be sharing the holiday with you.  You may be surprised if you ask you will probably get results.  I know growing up we had chores to do no matter what we had to to if the chores weren't done we had to forget the other things until chores were done and it didn't kill us.  Seems if the holiday's are alot more enjoyable with the house is sparkling clean.

I've not tried Flylady, so I'm at least going to read over her website - for encouragement if nothing else!

I did manage to clean the stove today, lol!  I used to clean the entire kitchen in a morning and I might still be able to if I had that chunk of time available.  It seems I've either got appointments that break up my day or constantly having to put out fires elsewhere.

I'm thinking of putting a 'cleaning day' on the calendar before Thanksgiving, making sure it's a day that everyone can be here and ready to take orders - not doing their own space, but the living areas of the house.  I used to give them their own room to clean on cleaning day and that went downhill quick when I'd find them reading or on the computer - and I'm not sure that has changed, so I'll make it clear they'll be upstairs cleaning.  Gotta snag dh, too, he'll find a reason to sneak away otherwise. 

In spite of my yearly promises, my holiday preparations are usually a mad scramble.   I don't have the desire to do that again this year, so we've actually started the process today with some decluttering and tidying.  DD is home from school for a few day for her mid-term holiday.  We're doing a modified Fly Lady approach - the trick will be to keep things organized between now and Christmas!

I was able to re-hire someone who is delightfully bossy and who has my best interests at heart. She won't take "No" for an answer from me. She comes in and cleans the house.

Did I happen to mention that she's decided that I need to have the house nice and clean and decluttered ? She's announced to me that I will have the house looking pretty again so that I can have friends in. She says that I'll feel better about stuff once I've gotten better organized.

No......she does not walk all over me. She knew Mom before she had her stroke and she knows me. She says that she worries about if I were to fall and hurt myself because of clutter on the floors.

Once the house is nice, I won't need her but once a month.

Tizzylizzy, could you afford to hire one of those services just once before the holidays ? I agree that Tizzylizzy needs some hugs !

Oh, guys.  I hate to admit it, but I'm one of those that you hire, lol!!  A friend cleans houses for a living and regularly calls me to help when the job's too big or she's overbooked.  And we clean the really big and fancy ones that take several hours, so I'm not exactly ready to do mine when we get home.  I've thought about 'retiring' from helping her, tho it's only 2 or 3 times a month, so I can keep my own up better but a few of the places she only took on because I promised to help, so I'm sorta stuck.  So everybody else's house looks great, but not mine!

 VNW, absolutely let the lady help you de-clutter - that makes such a difference and is a big part of the cleaning process.  If everyone here would simply take their stuff and put it where it goes instead of living all over the house, cleaning would be much quicker.

 And I'll take the hugs!   Liz.

 P.S.  I ran out of cleaning stuff and nothing to clean the cabinets with;guess I can quit for the day...

 Oh Tizzy, you made me laugh!  I was going to write to you last night.......you sounded so down.  I was too, cause I'm trying to get motivated also, but it's really a push this year.  I don't have very good health to begin with, then of all things, about 2 weeks ago I really screwed up my left knee......doing (of all things) BRUSHING MY TEETH!  I still haven't figured that one out.  My Dh said,"Well, Phyllis, just how hard do you brush???"  Ha Ha very, very funny.  I wish he was just half as funny as he "thinks" he is........Anyway, you sound lots, and lots better today and you sound like you have a plan.  I agree with what you said last night though, the house has to be spanking clean for the holidays, before I can bring all of the stuff out.  I know it's not absolutely necessary, and it's all in my head, but that's the way it is!  But what I really wanted to tell you is that I admire what you do for your parents and your Dh's parents so much.  Your priorities are IN the right place.  I would do anything for my Mom (sell my house, work three jobs, give anything I've got) anything else would take a backseat to what she needed or wanted, and you're doing that for four people.  Amazing.....no wonder you're tired.  Be kind to yourself, you deserve it.

And BE CAREFUL brushing your teeth!

Phyllis

TizzyLizzy,

If I've sounded frustrated or resentful, Mom was supposed to go through the stuff in the parlor. Needless to say, she didn't and I have needed help doing it because I'm physically not able to do certain things. On top of that, I have to go through her clothes, etc., that are in the house. The trouble is that I start crying while we're going through stuff.

My cleaner is hoping that we'll have things straight before Mom dies so that I can just concentrate on the funeral at that time.

Mom required a lot of care prior to her stroke. I had my hands full. What I really miss now is having someone to talk to at meals. That's why I eat in the living room and I watch tv then.

Promise me that you'll take some time out for yourself !

Oh, you didn't sound resentful at all, I understand. 

**sigh**  I don't think cleaning out my mom's things now would help me later, but that's just me.  My mil is giving her stuff away and that hurts more than me having to do it later, I think.  I tell her to keep her things, they give her comfort and don't worry about putting anyone out later.  Old people have their ways, though.

Lol, when the phone's quiet and the calendar's clear for a day I promise to cave in for awhile - I have plenty of Christmas music lined up to help me relax and put me in the Christmas spirit...Liz.