mommatothree:

However I'm definitely a "unschooler" at heart, so I don't follow everything to the letter.

We have a classical method and I don't push for advanced or early education. It sticks out a little here, lol.

Brandy:

The area I am in now is so much more educationally competitive than I have ever experienced. It does make me a little nervous and is at the root of my questioning myself and the education I give my children. I know I am following the laws and I am doing what is right but I still feel nervous about dealing with scrutiny.

I understand totally, Brandy.  My oldest is six, he's in first grade.  I've caught myself numerous times comparing what we're doing at home to what other kids are doing in school.  Most of the people I know have their kids in public school and I know some other homeschoolers as well.  My son has special needs, so he's not going to be on par w/the rest of his peers.  However I still catch myself comparing what he's doing in school to what they are working on. 

Am I teaching him at his level? Yes.  Am I teaching him in a way to meet his learning style?  Yes.  Am I teaching him things beyond the 3 R's, things he wouldn't get in a traditional classrom setting?  Yes.  Am I allowing him to excel in areas that he has a natural ability to excel in?  Yes.  Am I working on the areas that he needs help with in a way that works best for him?  Yes. 

I do question sometimes wether or not I'm doing my best (sometimes I can use improvement).  I do sometimes have concerns that others might question the way I do things, based on what my son is and isn't capable of doing.  However I know, my Hubby knows, and most importantly God knows that we are doing the best for him by keeping him home. You'll always find a critic, that is for sure.  However I try not to let their opinions fluster me and just put my time and energy into teaching my kids the best that I can.  Besides, bottom line is...who's going to have a greater vested interest in the education and betterment of your child than you?

mommatothree:

I do question sometimes wether or not I'm doing my best (sometimes I can use improvement).  I do sometimes have concerns that others might question the way I do things, based on what my son is and isn't capable of doing.  However I know, my Hubby knows, and most importantly God knows that we are doing the best for him by keeping him home. You'll always find a critic, that is for sure.  However I try not to let their opinions fluster me and just put my time and energy into teaching my kids the best that I can.  Besides, bottom line is...who's going to have a greater vested interest in the education and betterment of your child than you?

Dear Mommatothree,

     You are right, noone is going to care or try harder to teach your child than you are.  I have 2 children, 22 and just turned 18 this month.  The oldest is a girl who is a visual learner and very bright.  She was very easy to teach.  Then I have ds who just turned 18.  He never was easy to teach.  He has a learning dis. which starts with dyslexia, then goes into short term memory loss and these are the beginnings of his learning trouble.  The good news is that both have been home schooled from the beginning.  The oldes graduated, got married, had my first grand baby and has a good job.  They just bought their first home and things are going well.  (So far so good) 

     Then comes ds who started having seizures after his first set of baby shots.  These lasted until right before he turned 5.  He never had the rest of his shots.   And he learned to fight off the seizures at around 4 1/2 yrs.  He out grew them by the time he was 5.  They had already done their damage by that time.  He has short term memory loss.  Until something gets in his long term memory, its like he never saw it before.  We have worked endlessly on phonics, reading, letters .  He just in the last year and a half has down all of the letters and can recognize them all.  He knows all of his numbers and can add, subtract into the hundred and thousand and even higher.  He can multiply  and divide by single digits and do it extremely accurately.  Reading is very difficult for him and writing is even worse.  He probably reads somewher between 3 - 5 grade.   His father and I have tried many, many programs and curr. but to no avail.    We talked 2 yrs ago and decided this is how he is unless God intervenes.  He was made this way and rather than try to (fix) him we would begin to teach him all the things he would need to know to live and work in a (MANS) world.  The one where mom and dad could not come along and make things better for him. 

We taught him to do his laundry, to cook, to find things in a liabrary.  We taught him to use a measuring tape and a calculator .  To ask questions and where to find info.  My dh started taking him to work with him and teaching him the construction trade.  He goes with our sil who teaches him the mechanical side of things.  He has worked with a plumber, and electrician, a fence and gate company and many others.  He can run almost any piece of construction equipment that there is.  By doing all of this he has become a wonderful, confident young man, who believes in himself.   It doesn't hurt that he has almost unshakeable faith.  He understands that God made him different (not broken) and that God expects him to use his skill and talents that (He) gave him.     I don't think he would be the way he is if we had let him go to school.  We have always questioned in the past if we were doing right by him, but now we know we did.  No one loves our guy like we do and no one would have taken the time to laugh, or cry or try again and again to get things right.

I say it is OK to question yourself, because it is in the questioning that we find the answers.  If we don't question ourselves and ask the hard questions, we don't find the answers.  And, no one wants the answers to our childrens problems more than us.  Our young man graduates this year with 12 years of schooling behing him.  Is he 12th grade material ready?  Probably not.  But he has a resume that many grown men would love to have.  He graduates is May of 2010 and has been offered 3 dif. jobs starting in June.  He has chosen to work full time with his Dad, which his Dad's boss is happy about and it was one of the job offers.  He has agreed to work part time for the other companies when work is slow or on the weekends.  They have agreed to this also.  We are so proud of our son.  The character we see in him is loving and kind and I don't think this would be the case if we had sent him to school.   I hope that you will continue to educate your son.  It is a blessing when you get to this end of it and find that your children are not afraid to be seen in public with you.  Both of my children always say I love you to us when leaving or hanging up from a call, no matter who is around.  

mary w.:

Then comes ds who started having seizures after his first set of baby shots.  These lasted until right before he turned 5.  He never had the rest of his shots.   And he learned to fight off the seizures at around 4 1/2 yrs.  He out grew them by the time he was 5.  They had already done their damage by that time.   

He was made this way and rather than try to (fix) him we would begin to teach him all the things he would need to know to live and work in a (MANS) world.  The one where mom and dad could not come along and make things better for him. 

 By doing all of this he has become a wonderful, confident young man, who believes in himself.   It doesn't hurt that he has almost unshakeable faith.  He understands that God made him different (not broken) and that God expects him to use his skill and talents that (He) gave him. 

I don't think he would be the way he is if we had let him go to school.  We have always questioned in the past if we were doing right by him, but now we know we did.  No one loves our guy like we do and no one would have taken the time to laugh, or cry or try again and again to get things right.

Both of my children always say I love you to us when leaving or hanging up from a call, no matter who is around.  

Wow Mary, what an amazing story you have.  Your experience with your children is so similar to what my parents went through with some of my siblings and how I feel with my kids right now.

One of my brothers contracted bacterial menengitis at two weeks.  He shouldn't be alive, period.  However he is now 23 years old.  My parents exclusively homeschooled him and he's now attending community college and doing great.  He needs accomodations and struggles, but is doing well and enjoys school immensely.

One of my sisters has autism.  At 18 months, after getting her MMR shot she lost all verbal communication and regressed into a completely non-verbal and agressive child.  It was absolutely heartbreaking (as you can completely understand).  My parents worked with her non-stop and she is now a wonderful, confident and wonderful 15 year old.  She as well was exclusively homeschooled.

My oldest is six.  He has a myriad of neurodevelopmental delays.  He would be considered "on the spectrum" if I was to get him officially diagnosed today.  He would also absolutely be diagnosed ADD/ADHD and would require medication to attend school.  I know though that he does SO well when given the time and attention that he needs, something that wouldn't happen in a public school setting (or private for that matter).  My son brings me so much joy, happiness, frustration, tiredness and more everyday.  I wouldn't trade it for one minute, especially for one of the several unsolicited "I love you Mommy" that I hear each and every day.

I also am starting to see how even now at six, I need to tailor his teaching to "life skills".  What do I need to teach him so that he can be a confident, contributing and helpful member of society.  He also has an amazing faith and humbles me on a regular basis with his love for the Lord.  He is so smart, I have people tell me all the time how sensitive and inquisitive he is, that he's "an old soul". 

Thank you for sharing your journey of homeschooling and parenting your children.  It's such a reminder of how we as parents need to concentrate on teaching them the best we know how.  That we need to be shaping them into the future that they will become.

Dear Mommatothree,

Thank you for your kind words.

When we think about the fact that God knew our child and his ways before we did, it is humbling to think that he still chose us to be his parents.  He could have chosen someone with more patience, more education, more knowledge than we have or more money to pay someone else.  But alas he did not.  He chose us anyway.  If you think on that it seems strange, but the truth is God knew you too.  He knew how much you would love him and sacrifice for him.  What a blessing you are to your son and your other children.  It must be true, because God picked you for them.