No need to go back to lurking, Lee, I've enjoyed your input and hope you continue.

More than anything, I was trying to keep this thread focused - not an easy thing to do on a forum like this!  

I don't REALLY want to be barefoot and pregnant and staying at home with 20 kids in my perfect world!!!  I'm too independant for that.  I think we could all live on one income if we really had to.  We would just have to take a cold, hard look at what real needs are vs. wants.  Most of the things we have (personally speaking for the three in my family) are wants and not needs.  We need a roof over our head, a few clothes, and some food.  I think even electricitiy and running water can be wants.  People lived for years without both of them!

Part of it also depends on what one's expectations are, whether consciously or not. The generally accepted U.S. standard of living is that everyone will have electricity, indoor plumbing, a refrigerator, central heating and in most places, air conditioning. But as whitney noted people lived without these things for thousands of years.

Those who choose not to live that way (google "off the grid") are often perceived as, um, "touched in the head" or something. But it is a viable way to live since thousands do so.

In our case, we did live for about four months early in the marriage on one income when DW was between jobs, and after I retired we lived on just the retirement income for five years, but by then we had zero debt. At the moment I have a job and DW is ambivalent about whether she wants a job. This works for us, it might not for other people. As for me, I'd rather have a happy non-working wife than a stressed-out working wife. So if she gets a job and is happy with it, that's fine. If she decides that her, and therefore our, quality of life would suffer if she got a job then I'm fine with that outcome too. Now, it helps a LOT that she is in many ways more frugal than I am. Neither one of us places much importance on having the newest gizmos, cars, clothes, etc. because that stuff is just not important to us.

The point there is that is one of the couple is unhappy for long, and the other does nothing about it, the marriage will suffer in the long run.

I think the feasibility of one income living is very dependent on types of jobs/income a family has, location and costs of things like daycare.

For us, it was an easy decision for me to stay home.  I was in a job that was going nowhere and had no potential for advancement or increase in income.  Daycare is outrageously expensive here and I wasn't making that much money.  It would have taken a big chunk with jsut one child in daycare . . . now with 3, I can't imagine I would bring home much of a check at all.  It wasn't a job I loved, in fact, I didn't even like it much, so when I left I never looked back.  An easy decision for us.  It would have been a much harder decision if I had loved my work, made good money, had good benefits, etc.

Now, though, I am happy I was in that position.  It wasn't much of an adjustment to live on DH's salary alone, he made far more than I did.  My income was going for infertility and adoption costs as it was so we weren't using it to cover basic bills.  I would like to make some money and am always looking for opportunities to bring in extra money that won't require putting the kids in daycare.  Not because I'm against daycare but because it starts to negate my earnings once I am paying for childcare.  Perhaps when they are older/school aged, I would do more.  For now though, any extra money I can make, I use to pay down bills and put in savings.  It is not relied on for our regular living expenses.  We use it to try and help us get ahead.  I would like to earn more though.  I have a couple ideas to do that but it will just take some time for me to be able/ready to get back to doing more with the new baby and all.  I don't miss working a full time job but I do sometimes miss doing something that was just about me-my own accomplishments, something that didn't involve my kids or my DH or anyone/anything but me!  I miss that feeling.

Like someone else said, there isn't a one right answer.  There is a right choice for each family and each family has to decide what works best for them.

Hi! I'd like to correspond with you  on this subject. Write me at stargazer43008@yahoo.com `Lisa

I am going through, trying to catch up a little here and found this discussion. I completely missed it when dashing in and out of here lately.

Pat:

but how easy do you think it is for a wife (or husband) to not work in today's economy?

My first reaction was to say that it was easier to live on one income in the past when and where things were cheaper than they are here and now. But then I look around me and realise that we really do have more and even spend a bit more than we used to.

So I don't think it's really any harder than it ever was. I don't think it's any easier either though. We have a different set of concerns and issues that we deal with is all.

 

I  think alot of this depends on what stage of life you are in.  I would like to relate my experiences which, looking back, I think was an ideal situation.  I was fortunate to be able to stay home while my children were living at home.  I realized that when kids started leaving home that I wanted more to do, so I started a part-time job. This job turned out to be a true blessing.  I was able to help all three kids get their college degrees and then I was able to save and help finance a very comfortable retirement.  I have to admit, to contribute and help with the finances gave me a great feeling of self-worth and confidence. I also enjoyed the interaction with other people.  I think there are so many factors here that it would be hard for anyone but the individuals involved to make such a call.  I think that one fortunate result of the recession is that it has become more fashionable to live on less which I embrace wholeheartly!