The Light at the End of the Tunnel
“Why are you always worrying about money?” “Doesn’t it drive you crazy thinking about money all the time?” “I could never be so concerned with my finances.” I get teased all the time for my frugal habits. The bank tellers at my local branch always laugh when I tell them there’s no need to print the balance on my deposit slip – I know it by heart. Friends smile when I know exactly what my dinner cost, down to the 15-18% gratuity. Even my husband gives me a hard time about my “obsession” with our finances. But all of these people are missing the point, in one way or the other. I’m not obsessed with our budget or fixated about our net worth. I am aware and in charge of my financial destiny and the knowledge I have is not frightening, but rather empowering. For the first time in my life, I don’t worry about money. At all. That’s right; with an unemployed husband, a toddler, uncertain economic times and considerable (but getting smaller every day) consumer debt, I have never felt as free from money fears as I do today.
There was a time in my life where every trip to the mailbox was fraught with anxiety. After blindly swiping my credit card at the mall and jabbering away on my cell phone all day, my bills were crushing defeats. I was so afraid of seeing how bad the damage was, I stopped opening the mail. I would tear a stack of letters in half and deposit them in the trash without glancing inside. My phone would ring incessantly with companies, later debt collectors, looking for a good faith payment that I was unable to make. My phone would finally stop ringing when my provider would shut off service and I would charge my usurious bill on one of my non-maxed out credit cards. For years I was single, with two well paying jobs, living high on the hog and digging a hole that I’m still climbing my way out of. Now THAT was scary!
My pregnancy and the subsequent birth of my daughter were my eye opening moments. After I returned to work (a three week maternity leave was all my family could afford), my husband and I took a long hard look at our paychecks and had a stunning realization. We were not working for ourselves; actually, at the end of the day, credit card companies, financing companies (hello, car loan!), late fees, and interest were gobbling up our money faster then we could make it. I had an unpaid second job; I was blindly and carelessly helping the rich get richer with my unwise and irresponsible spending. I started opening the mail, making note of balances, calculating interest, and actually paying my bills. I answered the phone when a collector called and worked out repayment programs. We became current on all of our accounts and, one by one, started paying them off. When it was all said and done, by family had about $13,000 in unsecured commercial debt (not to mention a significant car loan) to pay off. Almost a year and a half later, my end is in sight.
No matter how bad things may seem, hiding from your financial problems will not solve but only compound them. Although we were once drowning in a sea of red ink, next month, my husband and I will be debt free for the first time in our adult lives. Finally, we will begin working our savings, our retirement, and our dream of becoming homeowners. Finally, our paychecks will belong to us again. Finally, I can begin living the dream of a debt-free life. I have saved each and every letter, bill, delinquency notice, shut off notice, and collection statement that we have received over the past 18 months. They’re in my filing box, out of sight but never out of mind; they are a reminder of how far we have come and how easily we can go back.
I would love to hear from people who are working towards a debt free existence and know what they are looking to most about finally being out of debt. I would also love to hear from those who are debt free on the tools they use to keep from slipping back into their old habits. My next post will be devoted to the values I have established as part of my frugal lifestyle and their application in my soon to be debt free life.
