The Whole Buffalo

Get ‘Em While They’re Young

My daughter’s first birthday was a few weeks ago and although she is still too little to complain, several of my friends were disappointed that her birthday celebration was lacking in fanfare.  Even before I was a parent, I was never a big fan of the baby birthday party – large, expensive get-togethers requiring large, expensive gifts, while the guest of honor crawls around, oblivious?  It wasn’t for me.  While my daughter’s birthday was lacking in “stuff”, it certainly wasn’t lacking in substance.  It fell on a Monday this year, serendipitous since I work a 40 in 4 week so we were able to spend the whole day together, doing what she enjoys.  Namely, dragging Blue Bear around the apartment 200 times, eating homemade blueberry pancakes, and taking a walk through our local park.  For her “party”, my immediate family and her godparents toasted her with a pizza party.  Total cost out of pocket?  Well, technically, nothing (thanks for the pizza, Mom!) and I was able to come away with several helpful hints to make a birthday less about the presents and more about the occasion.

• Make a memory: Ten years from now, the Barbie your daughter absolutely had to get for her birthday will be a 50 cent item at the garage sale.  The pictures you took from your trip to the zoo will be well worn from all of their viewings.  I know it is easy for me to say, as my daughter cannot yet articulate her wants or desires, but I urge you to focus more on the event then on the spoils; hopefully, your child will learn to follow suit.

• Ask and ye shall receive:  Our daughter has more toys, clothes, knick knacks and mementos after one year of life then my husband or I combined – and almost none of it was purchased by us.  If you have close, generous family and friends, odds are someone will ask what your child wants for their birthday.  My first response is always, “Don’t send presents, send love.”  But if someone really wants to know, I tell them the truth – take a stand against the clutter, the imported plastic toys, the too small outfits you always mean to return… but never do.  This year, our daughter got things that she actual NEEDED – and will enjoy.  No gift receipts necessary.

• Spend where it matters: As someone who works with children, in addition to being a parent, I have seen the increasing trend of consumerism among America’s youth.  If you can – and it’s a big if – make a break from that in your house and take a stand.  I’m not saying I’m anti-present, in fact, I’m anything but.  However, the most precious gifts I have ever given were not asked for.  Family jewelry, get aways with parents, a classic piece of clothing: these are presents I still think of fondly (and wear!) to this day.  If you must make a major financial statement for your child’s birthday, drop cash on something that will last forever, not a thousand little things that will just gather dust.

• Create a tradition:  This year, I asked all those close to my daughter to compose a letter to her, recounting the tremendous impact she has made in all of our lives in one short year.  I plan on doing this every year until she reaches 18, compiling everything together in a special memory book, separate from her other photo albums and keepsakes.  I also made her cake this year (nothing fancy, but very delicious!) and plan on doing so each and every year.  In my family growing up, we got to plan our birthday dinner menu and everyone ate and enjoyed it together.  This year my mother made me a full Thanksgiving style feast in honor of my 24^th birthday – this is a tradition I plan on continuing!

• Enjoy what you have – your children will, too!: Maybe this whole article is completely irrelevant to your life : you just lost your job, there is no money for a cake, let alone a present, you live paycheck to paycheck, there is no reason to celebrate.  Regardless of your circumstances, celebrating a loved one should be a joyous, no stress occasion, and if all you can give is love, please give it in abundance.  I would take a hug and kiss from a loved one over a cupcake any day!