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Jealousy - The Dollar Stretcher
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The Dollar Stretcher blog will explore people and money.

Jealousy

Have you ever been jealous? I suspect that all of us have at one time or another.

Typically when we think of jealousy we think of someone who can't stand to see their beloved pay any attention to another person. Hollywood has churned out hundreds of movies that revolved around jealousy.

Another type of jealousy is for position or possessions. Often we describe that as envy. I could be envious of my neighbor's new ride or a co-worker's promotion. Most of us have probably experienced this. At least momentarily.

How we respond can make a big difference in our personal finances and our happiness.

On the one hand we can choose to 'keep up with the Joneses' and buy a new car that will make us feel equal to or better than our neighbors. Of course that will either require a big withdrawal from our savings or agreeing to make payments for years. In other words, a reduction in our net worth. A step back from our personal financial independence.

Another possible response is to want to see the other person lose what they have. Hope that they fail in that new job or that someone backs into their new car. In short, if I can't have it, I don't want them to have it either.

It occurs to me that response hurts me in two ways. First, I become hardened and hateful. Very selfish. Certainly not a healthy and happy place for my mind to be.

I think that jealousy also hurts me financially. Instead of trying to build myself up financially, my mind is working overtime dreaming of ways that the other person could be brought down. My mental energy isn't being used to create wealth (mine), but to destroy wealth (other person's). No matter how you look at it, that's not a formula for making myself or my world better.

So anytime that I catch myself being jealous of possessions or position I try to quickly get off of it. Knowing that I'm only hurting myself makes it a little easier.

What's been your experience with jealousy? Am I missing something? Is there a situation where jealousy has actually been helpful to you? Or do you agree and have techniques that you use to identify when you're beginning to fall into a jealous mindset? What do you think?

Keep on Stretching those Dollars!

Gary

Comments

 

redw4552 said:

Well, Gary, you hit the nail on the head.  I have been down that road before and have decided not to go down there anymore.  I just let people spend money the waythat they want to because it's their money, not mine.  Why would I care how people spend their money in the long run?  

I am comfortable in my own skin and my way of living.  I don't need fancy technology or a phone that I can touch.  I just had an interesting conversation with my former roomate and he told me that my laptop was old and that i need a new one.  It's only two years old and as long as it works, I am happy with it.  I am going to hang on to it until it dies and then get a new one when I am good and ready.  

I truly do not understand the pressure to have the best thing out there, but then again, I am not a slave to advertising.  My shirts don't have any writing on them, my underwear just say UNDERWEAR on the label, and my jeans and dockers are the store brand.

So, all in all, I am happy with my spending and not being jealous of anyone.  I do not even waste me time thinking about people who have hurt me in the past.  I move forward in love, peace, happiness and joy.

Shawn

July 1, 2010 5:24 AM
 

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July 1, 2010 10:33 AM
 

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July 2, 2010 11:52 AM
 

cheapChic said:

It can be both ways being jelouse of those who have money, and those who have with out they both hurt I had both but I rather be happy then be in what I had before that is illness it cleaned me out but good money that is ,but we learn threw adult hood to grow up being rich helps but being with out is ok but both need to becarful peter to pay paul not to rob or kill, just need to get off the duff and move some how like I said its nice to be rich but forget that it be nice just to be comfortable and pay the bills only.

July 2, 2010 1:17 PM

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About Gary

For more than 25 years, Gary Foreman has worked to manage money effectively. Prior to starting The Dollar Stretcher, he was a financial planner and purchasing manager. While helping clients manage their hard earned money as a financial planner, he applied commonsense, time-tested techniques during the turbulent 1980’s. The experience convinced him that you didn’t need to hit the lottery to accumulate significant wealth. Following that, Gary had an opportunity to learn more about how to get the best value for a dollar spent in the corporate world. As the Purchasing Manager for a computer manufacturer, he was responsible for supervising over $10 million in annual purchases. Gary began The Dollar Stretcher website <www.TheDollarStretcher.com> and newsletters in April 1996. Over 300,000 readers benefit from the time and money saving ideas presented in The Dollar Stretcher newsletters each week. His mission is to help people "Live Better for Less". He also provides private label newsletters for companies wishing to provide money saving information for their clients and/or prospects. Gary lives in Florida along with his wife of thirty years and their two children. Much of his time is spent working with the men's ministry of his church. One of their ongoing projects is the "Holy Smoke BBQ" which sells bbq on Friday nights with the profits going to support local foster kids and orphans. When he has a free moment you’ll find him restoring a Checker station wagon nicknamed “Two Ton” or cruising in a '65 Impala SS Convertible with doo-wops playing in the background.

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Gary is a former financial planner and purchasing manager who edits The Dollar Stretcher website <www.stretcher.com> and newsletters. You can follow Gary on Twitter.com/gary_foreman
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