I find it fascinating how occasionally two ideas converge to create something new. I had that happen this morning. Early in the day I was reading something that reminded me that each one of us is a truly unique individual. We each have our own fingerprints that are different from all others. We each have a DNA code that belongs only to us. And, we each have a mind with memories, thoughts and feelings that isn't duplicated anywhere. That's really nothing new. We've all heard it before. But, it is pretty amazing when you stop to think about it. According to the U.S. Census Bureau the world population is over 6.3 billion people! And, every one of them is different!
The second part came as I was looking for items for the "Frugal News" section on The Dollar Stretcher.com front page. I found one that quoted Goodbye to the JonesesThe London Telegraph. It said that Britons were victims of 'chronic dissatisfaction' because they were struggling to keep up with the Joneses. The research showed that people were only happy if they were financially better off than the people that they spent time with. If they had more money, a bigger home or a faster car than their friends, all was well. But, if they didn't (and most people don't), then they were unhappy. The result was that they spent more time working trying to catch up to their neighbors and were unhappy while they were doing it.
Now, it doesn't take a Rhodes scholar to see that's dumb. Think about it. If I'm unique, what will make me happy should be slightly different than you. Just because I get the same house or car that you have I'm unlikely to be happy. Wouldn't it make sense to spend time figuring out what would make me happy instead of working harder to buy what you have or something slightly bigger?
Instead it appears that people just assume that they will be happy if they have a little bigger house than their friends. So they enter a lifelong race to see who can buy the biggest, fastest, mostest stuff! Talk about a foolish way to waste your life!
So what can you do about it?
Start by asking yourself if you've recently made purchases to keep up with the Joneses. Here are some possibilities: toys (boats, entertainment systems, skis, etc), clothing (designer anything), bigger home, fancier car, more exotic vacation, biggest collection of ______, etc.
Next, ask yourself what would really make you happy. Don't think just in terms of stuff that you can buy. Maybe seeing birds in their natural setting would bring joy to your life. Or maybe you want to have time to spend reading under a towering oak tree. Let your mind roam free.
Once you decide what would make you happy, make a list of what you would have to do to make that happen. It might take time. Maybe money. Perhaps some help from your spouse. Begin to ask yourself if you can make it happen.
Then go for it! Don't worry if you drive a 12 year old car that your friends kids you about. A new one will not make you happy. It's not your goal! Pursue your goal. That's what will make you happy!
What happens if you have a goal that's way to big for your checkbook or physical abilities? Then think along the same lines but a little smaller. Too old to become an astronaut? Then start saving for a trip to the Kennedy Space Center. Can't climb Mt. Everest? Spend time studying those who have through books and videos. Don't be surprised if these smaller goals don't bring you closer to your dream than you had imagined.
It's surprisingly easy to get rid of 'chronic dissatisfaction'. All you have to do is to decide that your name isn't Jones and stop thinking about getting what other people want!
What do you think about keeping up with the Joneses? Please share your thoughts. I'd love to see your comments!
