Yesterday, I decided to stop by the grocery store on my way home from teaching Hebrew school. I had a list with a grand total of 5 items on it:
Half and half
But Hebrew school is done at noon, and I reached the grocery at the optimal poor-decision due to hunger timeframe. So despite the fact that I should have been able to get in and out of the store in less than 20 minutes, I spent 45 minutes filling a grocery cart with such absolute necessities as dates, bottles of soda, a carton of ice cream, and other items that seemed like a good idea at the time.
It wasn't until I reached the checkout line that the real embarrassment set in. When the cashier informed me of my total ($115 and change, making it officially the most expensive five-item grocery stop in history), I realized that my wallet, which should have been in my purse, was not, in fact, there.
What was really embarrassing was that I knew exactly where my wallet was. I had taken it out of my purse in order to use my credit card for an internet purchase, and the wallet was still sitting, minding its own business, on our desk. Which I would have realized at any point before I reached the cashier had I not be wandering around in a cloud of hunger.
While it is always embarrassing to realize that you don't have your wallet at the checkout, I feel that there is a special embarrassment for those who know exactly where the wallet is. It's almost better for it to be missing, at least humiliation-wise.
The cashier was very nice about it and told me it happened all the time. She suspended the sale and told me they'd hold my cart until I made it back with a method of payment. Since I was shopping right by our synagogue, I was a good 20 minutes away from home, thereby completely negating the convenience of my stopping at that particular grocery store.
I returned within less than an hour, shame faced, and paid for my groceries.
I was still hungry.
Of course, that's not the end of this story.
I had forgotten something on my list yesterday, and somehow managed to miss purchasing it in my widespread hunger-induced grocery grab. While planning dinner for tonight, I realized that I could not make the black bean soup without the garlic.
I mentioned to J this morning that I was heading back to the store, and he asked me to also pick up a comb for him, as he had misplaced his.
While checking out of Target with the smallest order I have ever managed to purchase from that store, the cashier said exactly what I was thinking:
"Really? Garlic and a comb?"
Sigh. Yes, it is the weirdest combination you can possibly think of.